question of getting others to understand

I have found I have an issue related to my fibro I'm not sure how to handle.  I'm still working and my job is as a server in a busy small town rural restraurant.  There are many locals who come into where I work and whom I've gotten to know on an aquantance type relationship. 

 

My issue is without going into detail of my conditions, how on earth do I get them not to touch me (hugs, pats on the back, grabbing my shoulders, etc) in greeting or well wishing?  I work there fulltime, and while I am still working there are many days in which I call my "don't touch me days" due to pain levels.  My coworkers have learned not to, but it's different in explaining to them than it is to our customers.  I don't want to offend anyone and find it sounding rude to simply say "please don't touch me" in which I know with certainity many would feel I was being rude.  However, I also don't want to go into detail with the customers either.....

 

Lately I've just been gritting my teeth and smiling through it.  Any suggestions?

 

Grace

That would be very difficult.  Sobermommy I love the idea of the pain buttons.   How long do you think it would take for it to catch on? I'm ready!  

Deb

Grace,

That is a really tough one. I sometimes say I have a pain disorder or a muscle disorder that makes my muscles really sore, and if they ask more, I'll say it's called fibromyalgia and no, they don't know what causes it, and you can do some things to help but there is no cure yet.

How in the world can you work in a restaurant?? I did that when I was young and I remember how heavy those trays can be (but then, maybe "young" is the key word here!) More power to you, but I hope you're not pushing yourself too hard. I really do think that the fact that I kept lifting my kids and trying to do Nautilus and everything else I'd always done, even after my symptoms started, contributed to my fibro (of course, I didn't know that's what it was.) If I had backed off on the muscles, stretched more, relaxed more, I wonder if it would have gotten as bad as it did. Who knows? I didn't even know there was such a thing back in the 80s.

Debbie

GSDgirl..... I have a problem being touched, just for the sake too.  If I don't know someone and consider them a good friend, I don't like to be touched (in addition to it now being a pain factor).  It's very difficult though when you live in a rural area as I do.  A lot would be offended if I just said "don't touch".  Usually I can manage to step aside *if* I see it coming. 

 

Debbie.....I will probably try to keep it simple with "I have a pain condition/disorder"

 

I wait tables because honestly it's the best money in the area for me with a specific degree in something.  The area I live to get a better paying job, you basically have to know the "jones" and the "smiths" and be on their good list or kill someone.  And then there is a waiting list *lol* 

 

We do not use trays where I work, just carrying the plates or baskets.  Only trays we have are for drinks.  My employers are willing to work with me on things I can't do, which helps a lot.  And yes, often I push myself too hard and end up paying for it by not being able to do anything on my days off.  I owe,  so I go.  I'm not so young anymore, 45 this month.  I use to be a lot more active, and I miss that the most.  Going for 5 mile walks a day, dancing to stay fit, weight lifting.  Anymore, those things are a daydream.

 

Shirley.... Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.  I'm not sure taking another pill is where I want to go right now.  I worry over all the ones I take already.

 

Deb and Sober.... *lol* I like the idea of buttons too!