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guilt, shame and hope

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Posted 10/17/2010 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Here and there you have heard me talk about the wonders of vicodin for fibro, for me. Well, I'm going to make this a short story. On October 12th, I admitted for the first time, that I am addicted to this drug. I'm not going to go into everything. Just know that for me, it can't go on. This is not a reflection on others here. I am getting the help that I need. And as of tomorrow, I'll be taking my last one - ever. I probably won't be around here much for a while. I'm busy getting better.

Thank you for listening, and I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone along the way. Prayers would be appreciated as I begin a new path in reovery, and help for my fibromyalgia.

Take care............myjoy

Posted 10/17/2010 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, I'm sorry your going thru this, but the first step is admitting the problem. Just remember that you have friends here that care and when you need a shoulder, we are here for you.
Posted 10/17/2010 8:22 PM (GMT 0)

Good for you, but am sorry you have to go through this.  Please wean slowly and let us know how you are doing.

Donna

Posted 10/17/2010 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Actually, myjoy, you should be very proud of yourself.  I know I'm proud of you.  That's a difficult thing you are doing.  But, I know you will be successful and find ways of helping with the pain of fibro without narcotics.  You know I have managed to do that. 

 

I became addicted to an amphetamine under a doctor's care when trying to lose weight when I was in my 20's.  I, too, got rid of it and won't go that direction again.  I didn't feel guilty because I didn't know it was happening!  I was doing what my doctor told me to do.  I'm sure that's your case, too, so you have nothing to feel guilty about...or shame.  This just proves what a truly strong woman you really are!     

 

Remember, we are here to help you and give good suggestions as to how to work around fibro.  No, you won't be pain-free but you will become more accustomed to the pain and learn how to live with it successfully and have a really great life, too!  Please let us know how you are doing.  I'll be praying for a quick "recovery" and peace of mind.

 

Sherrine 

Posted 10/17/2010 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy,

Yes, good for you, facing reality. It's nothing to be ashamed of, just being human and in pain makes us vulnerable. We will miss you, but sometimes you just have to focus on yourself! Prayers will be coming your way.

Debbie
Posted 10/17/2010 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, I'm sorry this hasn't work out for you as you have hoped. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty or ashamed of. You have been trying to help yourself, now you are just taking another path. You ARE a strong person, you will do the right thing for you. I have faith!!

I have always found you to be kind and helpful, never hurtful. Be gentle w/ you, YOU are important to us! Take what time you need to recover, we will be here waiting for you.

Prayers are coming your way for healing and peace.

God bless.  Alice.

Posted 10/17/2010 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, I believe you are a very strong person and you will find recovery. Take it one day at a time and know you will be OK...believe in yourself. We are here for
you! Sending you gentle hugs and prayers.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 10/17/2010 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, I don't think you should feel shame or guilt about this. This isn't something that you set out to do or wanted to happen. You were just looking for some relief from a tough situation. Stuff happens. In my mind I believe it is how you handle it after the stuff happens that is the true measure of a person. It won't be easy but you are strong enough to get through this and we will be here for you to lean on. Take care and know that we are on your side through it all. Lisa
Posted 10/18/2010 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you to everyone - you have made my night. :)
Posted 10/18/2010 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Myjoy just wanted to let you know that I love you and I will be praying for you. You just take care of you ok. We will be here waiting for you when you are ready to come back. Sorry I havent posted sooner but I havent had a chance to be on the computer much today.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 10/18/2010 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, I am praying for you and sending gentle hugs and good thoughts your way. You've made a critical decision regarding your health, and I wish you every success with that.

We're here to cheer you on...so don't feel alone!

hugs,
Pam
Posted 10/18/2010 10:47 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your prayers. Much needed and much appreciated.
Posted 10/19/2010 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
   ((((Myjoy))))

 

Bless your heart, I know what your going thru has to be hard. I  myself have been taking pain meds for the first time in my life, for only about 5 months now and I'm 54, but I'm pretty sure I will be on them a long time with fibro and arthritis pain. Most likely the rest of my life. I know I am already dependent on them, but I don't think it is a bad thing. So untill they find a cure, I will use whatever medicine my doctor and I agree on that will help me get thru each day. 

 

I'm just wondering why you are being so hard on yourself? If you have been taking these pills for the pain of fibro, it is certainly understandable.

 

Of course you know whats best for yourself, and I too will be praying for you to have the strength to do what you feel is neccesary.  The Lord will see you thru this, as we He is more than able too!

 

You are my hiding place;you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverence.   Psalm 32:7

 

Hugs

 

Debbie

Posted 10/19/2010 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Myjoy, how are you doing today?  I hope you are feeling alright.  You will make it.  It is the right thing to do for yourself.  I'm keeping you in my prayers.

 

Sherrine

Posted 10/19/2010 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Myjoy, I honestly can't remember you being anything but kind to others on here. I am glad you are quitting the vicodan as I am so afraid of the acetaminifin's effects on the liver. I hope all is going well with you on this new journey. My thoughts are with you
Posted 10/19/2010 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
Prayers are with you and taper off it slowly...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((MyJoy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
healing Hugz
Posted 10/19/2010 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, myjoy! Good luck! Lose the guilt! And remember, take lots of hot showers, soak in epsom salts, look for the recipe online (maybe "tom's recipe?") there are supplements u can take that make withdrawal MUCH better!! (ask me how I know..). Oh, and get (or stay) well acquainted with a heating pad and a jacuzzi tub (if ur lucky - I wasn't)! And remember, the worst is over in 5 or so days. Some withdrawal last a couple months but u can do it! Good luck! Im sending support n prayers!
Posted 10/20/2010 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
Sherrine and the gang....thanks so much for the tips and encouragement. I am getting past the guilt, and looking to the future. I am now totally off the vicodin....and yes, I like my heating pad very much. This is hard, but I'm getting through it. I do have epsom salts and will take a nice bath today. Great idea. I'm in counseling, and that is going very well. All I have to do is open and honest about eveything. I also have to make sure I don't go back to food for comfort. I've lost 64.5 pounds and do not want to go backwards there.

Thanks again for your support. Now I need to go, I have a nasty headache this morning. ugh.
Posted 10/20/2010 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi myjoy your cheering squad is still here cheering you on. We know you can do this. Please keep us posted.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 10/21/2010 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Myjoy! Everyone here has said just the right things that I am not sure I can compare. I dealt with this addiction myself and I can say it is very hard, but you have a terrific support team here with us! The worst of it is over in a few days and the rest is not so bad. The headaches were the worst of it for me so take plenty of quiet time for yourself (I liked a dark & silent room). Try to find a hobby to occupy your mind. The more idle time your brain has, the harder it is to kick this thing! I know you can do it and I am always here if you have questions or just need an ear. There are plenty of others here who feel the same! I will keep you in my thoughts during your road to recovery!

((((((myjoy)))))

Ivey
Posted 10/22/2010 11:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Ivey and all,

Thank you for your support. Sorry you went through this as well. I'm doing ok - lots of crying and my fibro pain is not good. I'm using a heating pad for that....and an anti-inflammatory. Counseling is going fine - I'm learning a lot about myself. I see a new day coming.
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