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Posted 10/24/2010 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
I have been having issues dealing with the fact that I just can't keep up with everyone else. Today has been the worst! I had my kids this weekend and we always try to do something. We have always been very active considering the fact that I have 3 boys ranging in age from 6-13. I realize after diagnosis that I have been dealing with this for about 10 years, but I never went to the doctor so it just got out of control. But, onto the point.........I was trying to help my family do yard work this morning and I just couldn't keep up. Not as much pain as usual, I just haven't been sleeping and I feel like my legs are going to buckle underneath my weight. Then, I watched my 13 year old son move that dreaded trampoline so easily after I struggled with it so bad last week. One of the biggest frustrations is that my sex life is really taking a hard hit right now. My husband and I have always prided ourselves on the fact that we had a very active and wonderful love life and now I feel like he is being neglected. I either fall asleep on him or I just can't do it. I truly miss my active lifestyle and all of this is just making me feel worthless! I hope this all gets better soon because I am going Bananas!!!

Gentle hugs and lots of laughter,

Ivey

Posted 10/24/2010 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
I know this is really difficult to accept.  But you do have to accept this lousy illness.  Just roll with it.  Please don't start feeling guilty!  You sure didn't ask for this.  It sounds like you are coping very well for the pain you are in.  It's hard.  No doubt about it.  I hope you have an understanding family.  Try to educate them, the best you can, about fibro.  This way, they will know you are doing your very best.

 

On a positive note, you will have better times thrown in with the crummy times.  Keep your attitude positive because this helps a whole lot, too.  It can be difficult to do some days but it's worth the shot.  I know I feel better and have a little more energy when I'm thinking about the good things, good times ahead, etc. 

 

I hope you are having a better day today.

 

Sherrine

Posted 10/24/2010 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
I can also empathize with you.  Not being able to keep up with everyone else can be hard on our pride and just make us plain sad sometimes.  One thing I've learned is that as much as possible - listen to your body - when it's screaming at you to rest and you decide to push instead sometimes you set yourself back and end up down for the count for a few days rather than a few hours.  Try not to be to hard on yourself - keep reminding yourself that you didn't ask for this condition and remind yourself of all that you are blessed with.
Posted 10/24/2010 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
Ivey,

I can really relate to what you're saying. My sex life is pretty much nonexistant anymore, unfortunately. I have a lot of vaginal pain that no one can figure out, and, of course, that makes it pretty difficult. (Too much information? Sorry!!)

You were just diagnosed, so naturally, you're still grieving. Heck, I'm still grieving, and it's been 20 years! Some things do get easier, some never do. But hopefully, your family's support and understanding will grow. It took a few years for my husband to really get it, and my son STILL hasn't, quite. My daughters are great. As everyone says, "one day at a time." What else can we do?

Debbie
Posted 10/24/2010 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
Ivey, I have to agree that living with fibro can be frustrating. Don't think of
yourself as worthless, you are not...you're changed due to an illness. Fibromites
have to pace themselves with their level of pain and fatigue...and that can be
tricky. You know your body better than anyone else. On days you are not up to
something physically challenging it is better to say so... but don't try to over protect
yourself by not being active. For me keeping active helps me feel better. On days
I'm feeling good, hubby and I take advantage of it. The main thing is that you
love eachother. Life goes on and it can be enjoyable living "one day at a time."

Hugs, Robin
Posted 10/25/2010 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone! I realized yesterday that this is probably as good as it gets and I am ok with that. I was protecting myself a bit too much for fear the flare wasn't over. I think it is and I just have to accept the pain level and get out there and take advantage of the good times. I have been busy and active over the weekend and it actually made me feel a lot better! Acceptance is key and I have finally accepted the challenges ahead. I was having such a hard time because I recently had to give up my career and it made me feel like I wasn't contributing. I had a VERY physical job as a pet groomer. To change things up I went back to college a few months ago and in a few more semesters I will be able to change career paths. For me this is going to take time, patience, acceptance of the things I cannot change, and determination to change the things I can! Thank you all so much for the support I am desperately seeking!  smilewinkgrin

Plenty of hugs & Lots of Laughter,

Ivey

Posted 10/25/2010 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
Wow Ivey, I have to admire you for being a pet groomer. I have to shave my little dog about every 3 months so she doesnt get matted as I am not great at brushing her every day and I cant imagine doing that for a living. One dog is alot of work even though she is small. I also admire you for making the choice to pursue another career. You are a very strong person and dont ever put yourself down. Yes there are alot of changes we have to make, but it sounds like you are making the right changes. Hope to hear from you soon.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 10/25/2010 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
I can totally relate to your feeling! I have always been an avid exerciser, dancer and even have a black belt in martail arts. Much of that I continued to do even after diagnosis but after a bout of adult mono and strep throat, I was in a flare up that lasted a long time. Then came the tendonitis in left knee, both shoulders and costochondritis (chest pain). I discovered I Ehlers-Danlos (severe joint hypermobility) in addition to Fibromyalga. I am once again sidelined from exercise due to a mystery knee condition and am currently in physical therapy. I have put on weight and I am dying to exercise regularly again to get it off but I just can't right now. I know it is frustrating for you, your friends and your family. I hate being the one that has to leave early because I can't throw my sleep cycle off, or I have to turn things down because it is too physically intense. Howeer, I am learning to accept my limitations. Have you tried yoga? It is the one activity that I can make intense for weight loss and not hurt for days afterward. du to my knee I can't even do it right now, but can't wait to get back to it. Find a couple of gentle things you can do and do them every couple of days until your body gets used to the exercise then try every other day. It will make a world of difference. Good Luck!

Kara
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