Some days you just can't win...

Crushfibro,

what are you doing living my life?!! LOL. I've held off for over 2 years trying to explain it to my family 'cause I feel like I'm just complaining and they'll think I'm a hypochondriac (sp?).
I've tried to educate my mother (btw - I'm 50) but I get the same thing - 'maybe you need a new bed' 'do you get to bed early enough?' 'don't try to do so much'....

AAAAGGGGHHHH! I can hardly do the dishes most days! I found this site within the last 2 weeks and aside from a friend who also suffers, this is the only place I've been able to relate to others and see that they do to! Try explaining Fibro to your teenage kids...that's impossible. Advil...huh...I take 4 when I get a headache and it goes away, but the other pains? forget it. I take on average 30mg of Percocet a day and that just makes it bearable - most of the time.

Hobble and Crouch - that should be the name of the official Fibromyalgia dance! Ah well, just know that you're definitely not alone. I just found that out and boy is that nice! It's not all in my head, although I have a daily battle to convince myself of that. I skied, played hockey, hiked, hunted etc all my life and now I have to carefully weigh the enjoyment against the inevitable hours/days of pain to follow. If I'm not too depressed, I go ahead and take the pain.

But I know this; I control the extent of my pain. I decide what I can and can't afford to do. We do have control over this - just not as much as we'd like.

Brian

I am sorry that youre family doesnt understand. I think it is just impossible for anyone without this to truly understand what we live with on a daily basis. It's really hard though when they want to shrug it off as normal aches and pains. Maybe you could print out some of information from fibro 101 that Sherrine has compiled and leave it laying in the bathroom. It might just get read there. I will be praying for you.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley

I have a hard time with people who don't believe me. It makes me mad, because I know if the shoe was on the other foot (and sometimes it is) I give them the benefit of the doubt. If someone knows you, they should take your word for it - invisible or not! I love my mother-in-law, but I have always been able to tell that she thinks I'm just a whiner. :(

Debbie

Brian,

Yes, I know what you mean! But I don't think one day would do it, because part of the frustration is how it can change from day to day for no apparent reason. To get a good cross-section of our symptoms, I think at least a week would be in order.

Debbie

Debbie,

You're right - a day is too short at time. It drives me crazy though 'cause for over 20 years I've wondered why I was always hurting and I put it down to having done too much work, not sleeping well enough, poor diet, too much stress etc. Now I suddenly find an explanation for all my ills but can't convince folks because all those years I didn't complain. I just thought everyone felt the same!

Brian

Oh, my!!! We must all be experiencing the same thing. I love my mother-in-law but she no doubt thinks I am lazy and I'm pretty sure she will never think I am good enough for her son. Sigh. I told my husband to please not tell her anything about my physical ailments, or anything else really. What is the point? She would just think I was whining, and I really don't think she would care. Good woman, but very stoic and stiff upper lip, and all that stuff spouted by people who are not in chronic pain. I am 56. She is 76. She gets around better than I do. Actually, my 83 year old father gets around better than I do most days. Unreal, eh? I am happy for them, but for some reason they cannot imagine that someone my age would have trouble walking, running the sweeper, having enough energy to lead a "normal" life, etc. I just think it is the way of the world. I am doing much better since I have stopped expecting any understanding from anyone. I do have a good friend who has MS. She was dx about the same time I was dx w/inflammatory arthritis and Fibromyalgia and generalized osteoarthritis, and asthma. Sounds strange, but I was diagnosed w/all four at almost the same time. My friend and I understand each other, and our sharing of a chronic illness has made us closer. Aside from that, I have to say I am thankful for this website and all of the kind people here. I think this site and others like it are providing a wonderful service for those of us in chronic pain. I know that the support I get here helps me tremendously. Thank you all so much for what you do. Peace, V

My Mom who is 71 gets around better than I do and is in overall better health. She told me after I was dx that she was told she might have fibromyalgia at one point. She just says sometimes she feel achey. Makes me not want to tell her when I am having a bad day. She just says need to get up and moving and I will feel better. Mom is not a complainer and hates to discuss her health with anyone. I can not even get her to list her meds so we have a copy if an emergency happens. I want to be like her but maybe it's just my pain is worse?

I really do not even tell anyone when I am hurting unless it is real bad or a migraine.  It seems like anyone that you might tell either knows someone who has more pain or they say "I was diagnosed with that, Yea right".  I usually don't bother.

It is getting harder to do things tho........like my kennel, it has 6 runs with only 4 dogs (thank goodness).  It is getting harder and harder to clean the 4.  I have to do 1 or 2 go in the house and get the other 2 later.  It will be fun tomorrow unloading 500 lbs of dog and horse food and putting it away.  I used to get it, load it, unload it and put it away AND that was after I cleaned the house and kennel.  I just can't do it anymore

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I have tears running down my face after reading all your posts. It is 1:30AM this is my third walk out of bed and I haven't had any sleep yet. My alarm is going to ring at 6 and I will drag myself up to start another horribly painful day. I love my family but they can't understand what it feels like to have to choose what you can do everyday by how badly you hurt or how badly your going to. Even everyday stuff has turned into "if I can get it done once this week then I'm doing fabulous!". I have a cruel bro and sis in law that comment about my housekeeping (and I run a daycare so my house is very clean!), they notice I haven't dusted my pretties in awhile so they say something which i tell them that it is a futile attempt when i live in the country and they look dusty right after they are dusted, i tried to be light and humorus about it, they replied with how would you know it is futile if you never do it! THis was on Thanksgiving one year that I cooked for the whole family and they brought nothing but themselves and left a mess. These were also the people who came to my hysterectomy brought their new baby set her on my chest and waved good-bye, the nurse was so mad she pushed between them and the bed and said we don't say good-bye we say see you later, then they left the rest of my family in the waiting room after an hour because they had a b-day party, i was in 4 and a half hours and we didn't know if i was going to make it through. But even from those I love, and who love me the most can't understand why i can't do anything anymore. it is breaking my heart! i'm turning 30 in a few days but feel 90. it's even worst when you know that your whole life has been like this and will be like this. I can't even sleep with my husband very often because it hurts so bad and then i'm in horrible pain for at least 3 -4 days after and he just can't understand. then the whole family gives me a hard time if i sleep to much or sit to much or whatever. it really makes it hard to even try anymore because i am giving 500% each and every nanosecond of the day and they think i'm not trying at all. how can you move forward when you keep loosing it all? i'm in a very dark place right now and trying to find reasons to keep smiling. we were trying for a baby but i can't anymore and every year i get worst i feel selfish even wanting one and we gave up trying before my last surgery to see how i did and my hubby wants to try again but i'm afraid i won't be able to be a good enough mom who can do all the fun stuff or even the everyday stuff but with no dreams and goals for my life anymore i'm having a hard time just being happy to be alive and i feel badly for my husband who deserves a wife who can give him all that, he doesn't want anyone else for sure but sometimes that makes me feel even worst. thank you all for sharing! together we will get through all of this!! thank you beyond all words can say for helping others like me and letting others help you as well. blessings to each and every one of you!!!