Depression/Anxiety/constant pain and 3 young boys

H i All,

I am new here and most of all I am just looking for some pity. I mean seriously aren't we all!

I am in my early 30's am married to a great man and we have 3 wonderful lil boys. (6,3 and 9mos)

Within this past year the Dr has diagnosed me with depression/Anxiety and Bipolar. I also have constant back, neck, hip pain and I usually suffer from a headache daily. My Mother thinks I may have fibro, since I have some of the same symptoms as her.

I am on good meds for all of that but I still have constant pain, whether it be my body, head or soul. My life really isnt that bad, I really don't have much to complain about but I always feel stressed and uptight. All I want to do is sleep and when I am awake all I can think about is sleep.

I am a stay at home Mom and I love it most days but sometimes I need a break. Longer than an hr or 2. I am also feeling severly guilty about my relationship with my 6 yr old. He and I butt heads a lot.It seems like all I do is yell at him. He is very mouthy, doesn't listen, picks at his brother and what bothers me most is that his Dad treats him differently than his other 2 brothers. So he uses that against me. I have talked to my Hubby about this and he says he will do better but then it ends up the same.

Basically I am just trying to say..... I am overwhelmed with kids, crying baby, housework, pain, headaches and having to worry about the bills all the time too. I have asked my Hubby countless times to help me with the headache of trying to pay bills but I never get enough help. I believe my Hubby has ADD.  Right now he is not working and that is just adding more to the fire. Sometimes I feel like I could explode.

Sorry I have written a book, but I guess if you don't have time to read it then don't. To those of you that did.... THank you for reading.

Hello, Momsgirl, glad to see that you finally decided to join us here.

Being a stay at home mom IS one of the hardest jobs out there, But, it can also be the most rewarding. And, there is always going to be one child you butt heads with, cuddle more with, get along with......we are all different so naturally we are going to get along differently. Time, patience and discipline can and will change things, most of the time for the better.

I cannot say anything helpful about the relationship between hubby and son because I once new a little girl that was totally a mommys girl and still is. As long as hubby knows that the oldest does need discipline and the others need love too, it will balance out (everyone will find their place).

I know that you are very stressed and that brings on more pain. With small children, financial issues, and hubby out of work right now , there is going to be some rough roads ahead but you are strong and you will make it thru.


Take advantage of hubby being home and take a nice LONG hot shower AFTER the kids go to bed - use this time to wash away the daily stress and relax your tense body.

Most of all - believe in yourself the way your mother believes in you!

Hi Momsgirl!

And I'm so happy you found this wonderful fibro family! I'm sure you'll find what I did when I first came...I found a large and welcoming group of people who not only are there for emotionally but are still there when I'm feeling better. That's my definition of a true friend.

One thing to keep in mind, and I'm not saying this to depress you, but you are going to have some amount of pain the rest of your life, probably. The goal is to have a doctor who's sharp enough that he/she can get your pain reduced as much has possible and still have you alert and functioning. But the only way to eliminate every bit of pain, at this point, is to be totally unconscious and none of us want that...unless it's the middle of the night and we're sleeping.

One thing I would suggest for your family, not just your husband, is to find someone who's impartial to talk to. If you have a church you go to they should have a counselor who will listen You can also ask your doctor for a referral to a pain psychiatrist and/or marriage counselor. I'm not saying your marriage is on the rocks, just a few pieces of gravel here and there maybe.

Also pain counselors are very aware of what we are living with and can give you tons of helpful ideas. Many forum members have used pain counselors and felt it was time well spent. Having one person in a marriage who has health issues is vary hard on the marriage itself, let alone other family members who you interact with daily...like your children. Do this as a favor to yourself. I'm sure you'll find positive results and happier days ahead. When the two of you are feeling much better about things then he will find it easier to act in a more even way toward the children. It's easy for a dad to gravitate toward the oldest child. At this age they are often easier to have as a 'little buddy', to play with or do projects with. The younger ones are still learning the ropes

I've offered a lot of ideas and please remember that's all they are, my ideas. I will say an extra prayer for you and your family tonight that your family find more peaceful times and that your pain lessens with good management.

Warm hugs,
Chutz