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Posted 3/24/2011 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
The past few yrs have been hard for my family. My DM has been so sick and it looked like she might not make it and yet somehow she always came thru. The other day she was in such incredible pain, not even morphine could touch it. By the end of that night, she had slipped into a coma. She would 'speak' but nothing we could understand. Yesterday she spoke her last word. Just before I arrived, she called out 'ALICE' in such a pained voice.

I held her hand for hrs and sang an old song we liked. But she never spoke again nor did she squeeze my hand. But I still believe she knew I was there. I was going to go out to run an errand for her today, but my DH is sick and I didn't feel right leaving him, until one of our children came home to 'sit' w/ him.

I got the phone call that she has passed away and I had to leave my DH. I knew this day would come eventually, at least some part of me knew this would happen. But still the reality of seeing her and knowing she was gone was just so overwhelming. My DD left work to come over and be w/ me, my sister and her children were there and they were very loving. All the grands were so protective of the 2 daughters. They are such loves.

I made all the calls to family and friends, started the arrangements, will finish those tomorrow. Right now, I'm just shaking so badly. I am so glad she isn't in pain any longer, she never deserved that, she was a very good woman. I have my DH and 2 of my 3 children w/ me right now and I just feel so lost. I'm a grown woman, married almost 34 yrs, have 3 children and all my heart screams right now is 'I want my Mommy', like I was a little girl.

I'm going to take my shower and cry my heart out and prepare for the next cpl of days. I have to be strong for my children and my nieces and nephews and sisters. My DH is so upset, too, he and my DM were great pals. I will pray for strength. She was the first person I ever loved, my friend, My Buddy.

Good night, dear friends.

God bless.  Alice.

Posted 3/24/2011 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am so very sorry!!!! I just can't think about my mom, dad or my brother (dangerous job) passing even tho I know it will come somvereday. Odd thing is that my mom and dad were never super close to us but in out later year swe have grown closer. A lot of wasted time back when.

My bro and I got super close when our sis died in 1984, long ago but we still can't talk about it. I would do absolutely anything for him!!

Please take care or yourself
Posted 3/24/2011 2:28 AM (GMT 0)
((((Alice))))

How I wish I could say something to help you. Losing my parents (4 months apart) back in '08 was the hardest thing I've ever been through, and I'm still not over it. I still want my mommy and daddy! People sometimes say that if they've had a good life and have lived to a ripe old age, it's not hard.

I beg to differ.

Here's wishing you lots of love, which it sounds like you're already getting, and peace.

Debbie
Posted 3/24/2011 2:32 AM (GMT 0)
Alice, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Mother. She raised an incredible daughter. I know she must of been very proud of you. You were a wonderful care giver to your Mother.

You and your family are in my prayers. Losing a parent is so very difficult. I wish I had the right words to comfort you as you did when my Dad died. I believe your Mother felt the warmth of your hand and heard your voice as you sang your special song...what a special gift that was. Cherish your memories...

We are bound by memories, memories that last

to those who still live, and those who have passed

 

We hold what we value close to our hearts

Memories remain when loved ones depart

 

In our mind's eye, we see clearly

people and places we love dearly

 

Love can live forever, you know

It lives in our heart and memories still flow

 

my sympathy...Love, Robin
Posted 3/24/2011 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am so sorry, loosing a parent is hard no matter how old you are. May you find some peace.

Take care
Rose
Posted 3/24/2011 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Alice,
I am very sorry that you lost your mother. It sounds like she was a special woman and you love her very much. I am glad you could spend the time holding her hand and singing before she died.
soft hugs,
Sue
Posted 3/24/2011 4:02 AM (GMT 0)
Alice,
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss of your dear mother. It sounds as if you had a very special relationship with her. In the coming days, weeks and months, when some of the pain has subsided, you will be comforted by your warm loving memories of times you were together with her. For now take comfort in the love of your family.
I sincerely believe that your mom knew you were with her, singing to her.
My deepest condolences to you and your family,
Miriam
Posted 3/24/2011 11:18 AM (GMT 0)
Alice,

I am so sorry to hear this. Know that you will have fond memories of her and you together. Take the time you need to grieve, there is no time limit or no right way or wrong way to do this. And it runs it's course.

Know that we are all here for you. Please accept my condolences Alice. I am so sorry for your loss.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/24/2011 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I lost my Mom in 2009 and it doesn't seem to get any easier. I want my Mommy too. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
Posted 3/24/2011 11:58 AM (GMT 0)
Alice, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing.  It is very difficult.  Both of my parents have passed on.  My father left in 1986.  My mother passed on in 2000...and I still miss her.  I still want to tell her things and have conversations and go places together.  My mother had a very rough time the last 2 1/2 years of her life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  Even though I miss her terribly, I was relieved that she wasn't suffering anymore.  I'm sure that's how you feel, too.  You would because you love her.  You have been an absolutely fantastic daughter to her.  She couldn't have asked for a better daughter because you are the best. 

 

She is very much alive, Alice!  In a different place but happy and healthy again.  I truly believe this and these thoughts have helped me with all the losses I've had in my life.

 

You will be in my prayers, dear friend.  God will give you the strength you need to get through these next few days.  When  everything is over, you will have the time to reflect on all the wonderful times  you had together here on earth and the wonderful times you will have together in the future. 

 

Sherrine

Posted 3/24/2011 12:39 PM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am sad to hear your news and I offer you and your family my condolences. I hope that many wonderful memories will be shared between friends and family, and that despite your sorrow, you'll be able to laugh and share your memories as well.

Blessings on you and your family.

Pam
Posted 3/24/2011 12:59 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. I sat with my mom too. And dad. My doc gave me a strange piece of advice after we lost mom. He said tell people. In line at the supermarket, wherever, but tell people you just lost your mom and you would not believe how kind and generous people are or how it helps knowing there are a whole lot of people out there who know exactly what you are going through. Somehow, all those stranger's compassion made it a little, teeny bit better. Hugs
Posted 3/24/2011 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
You are in my prayers, my dear friend.  I lost my mother in 2006...she was my very best friend.  I held her hand and sang to her also in those last hours....'You Are My Sunshine.'  My dad passed away right before her and since then my younger brother and sister have passed also.  It is sooooo hard to deal with, but you will make it.  Know that you were a wonderful daughter and you both were blessed to have each other in your lives.

xxoo

Donna

Posted 3/24/2011 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am so sorry about the loss of your mom, I wish there were words I could say to take away the pain; but I know from experience that there are no words that can take away the pain you are feeling. My mom passed away 28 years ago and I felt like my whole world had collapsed. Time will ease the pain my friend and in time you will know that her love lives on in you. I will be praying for you and your family.

Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 3/24/2011 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Alice,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am new here and haven't had a chance to get to know you but I do know how hard it is to deal with the loss of a parent and would just like you to know that there are people out here that understand. My thoughts are with you.
Posted 3/24/2011 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
Alice, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing any loved ones is hard to bear. I will pray that God will comfort you and your family during this very difficult time. I lost both my Mom and Dad in Apr. of 2004. My Dad died first then my Mom 10 days later. Then I lost my brother, my only sibling in June of 2007 of lung cancer. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please remember to take care of yourself.
Posted 3/24/2011 9:49 PM (GMT 0)
Im so sorry for your loss.
I don't think it matters how old we are, it really difficult when we lose our mom.

Sage
Posted 3/24/2011 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
Alice, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am reading the post, and I am in tears for you. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your loved ones. I thank God everyday, I still have both my parents alive and well. I could never imagine my life without them, but I know that one day this day shall come. I am 44 years old and I still need more than ever my parents. My mom and dad are my strongest support in every way. When I was diagnosed w/ breast cancer, my parents were right by my side and made sure my son, who is 23 years old had all the support he needed to deal w/ my illnesses. I don't know how my life will ever be w/out my parents. It does not matter how old you are, your parents are your parents and you will always need them. I know people pass on, but I never bare to think about when it will happen. I start to cry. What has helped me overcome my illnesses, has been my faith in God. I am sure God will give you the strength and courage and patience you need to go through this painful time. God Bless and please keep us posted. We are all here to support you. xxoo
Simplistic007
Posted 3/25/2011 9:06 AM (GMT 0)
You dear, sweet people. I can't begin to tell you how much your words mean to me. Many of you are old friends, and some are new friends I haven't had the chance to meet yet. Your kindness touched me deeply. I lost my dear father almost 32 yrs ago and yet that still hurts, too. I am happy that they are together again.

So many of you shared your memories of your own dear parents and how their loss affected you. I thank you for trusting me with your sorrow and pain. My thoughts and prayers are w/ you, also.

My parents were always so supportive of me and trusted and believed in me. And they loved me, I have been blessed.

While my family has been reeling from this loss, we are faced with another loss. My wonderful sister-in-law. Officially, that is her title. Actually, I have viewed her as my Sister for 50 yrs, since I was a child of 7. She and my brother were married 50 yrs ago, they divorced about 30 yrs ago. My family never 'divorced' her. We always remained very close. She died the day after our mother.

The viewing for my DM will be later today, the funeral tomorrow. My family will be together and I have your thoughts and prayers to give me strength. I will get thru this w/ the help of God.

Forgive me for not answering each of you individually, but know that you are all in my prayers. I thank God for each of you.

I am going to try to lay down and sleep a bit. So tired.

God bless.  Alice. 

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