Shedding the Smile

HI guy's , I guess today is my day to rant. Sorry about that. As I have been reading through the posts this morning coupled with my experience with my doctor yesterday I have alot of frustration. Yesterday my doctor refused to sign my medical update paperwork for my LTD insurance company. He actually made several comments that suggested I could manage this pain if I really wanted to and It was more like I bring the pain on myself. I do my exercised several times a day, yes there are days I just can't, but by in large I do everything I can to keep my body moving. He always says , your looking good today, or you don't look like you are in pain. So.. I have come to this conclusion. Unless you "look" aweful when the doctors see you your illness does not exist. So beginning today and with every doctors visit moving forward. The smile, sense of humor and expecially all the dressing for the appointment, making sure I have makeup on that covers the butterfly mask, the powder that covers all the skin splotchyness etc is gone. I am gonna get out of bed, put my PJ pants on and head out so maybe he will think, ok, now she "looks" sick. I don't know how to get these doctors attention. I now have an appointment with yet another therapist to do an agility test so he can see just what I can and can't do. Maybe when I fall or scream in pain and upset his office it will get his attention. I'm tired of always putting on a face and trying to act as close to normal as I can be. I hurt, I don't remember the last time I didn't hurt and everyone that tells us we need to figure it out, needs to  understand that I have and am doing everything I can. It is what it is.

Oh Minny Mouse!! I am so sorry that your jerk of a dr. said that to you. I understand from ignorant bystanders, but from a dr to say.' you don't look sick so therefore you aren't in pain?!"

I am afraid I would have said, how about I kick your groin...............you don't look sick, so therefore you will not feel any pain either.

THen I would have gone into a tirade about his lack of knowledge and ask would he like for me to pray he have 5 minutes of equal pain.

Some days, my dr. sees me enter in a good mood and others he sees me not smile because I can't hide behind the mask. He will joke with me and we share a laugh sometimes and others, he knows that we just can't go there. I pray you can find a good dr. like I am blessed with !

Isn't this just the problem-we all have "the invisible disease"?! When I have a horredous flare and I just could drop where I stand and I have a migraine coming on then I do change-my OH tells me I look terrible and have turned grey. But on a daily basis I am the same as you (except for the smart things-can never quite achieve that!!)-smiley, happy, polite, no complaints. I guess it says what a great person you are to try and stay positive....but obviously is no help for your medical needs.....

I think we all can relate to this thread.  My PCP always tells me how great I look and he can't believe I am 50.  Well, I am 55 and I think he says that to everyone.  I am in better shape than I have been in over 30 yrs, yet I still hurt.  I have a friend at work, on a daily basis he says to me, "It's nice to see your head isn't hurting today!"  How can he tell that by looking at me, and why can't he tell by my eyes that I hurt?  I don't think anyone can know how a person feels without spending a day in our bodies.  I think it would be great if we could push a button and let the doctor feel what we are feeling, then they would pay attention.

I think most of us do not want to look as bad as we feel.  I give us credit when we can leave the house looking good and smiling...we are the strong ones.  Most of those people out there whom can't understand how we could hurt as we do, those people would never be able to walk a mile in our shoes.  They are the ones who whine about a tinge in their heads, they do not know what true pain is.

Feel better everyone.

I guess I am just the opposite. I am transparent and cannot hide how I feel, even if I try. Most of my friends and family can tell if I am having a hard time. The flares are obvious on me. Sometimes I will be minding my own business doing whatever and people will notice I am in pain. I will be working in the kitchen and family members have come and tugged me to a chair and made me sit down.

I don't carry on or say anything. I guess that is where being so transparent is a good thing. I cannot be mad at anyone either without their knowing all about it - and that can be a problem! :).

Sue