A Crossroads... Getting Pregnant with Fibro?

Hi there.  I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads and wanted to see if anyone out there has had an similar situation.  My husband and I are asking ourselves the big question...  do we want to try to get pregnant again?  Here's a little background information about me and why we are questioning ourselves.

I'm 34 years old and a full-time working mum.  My husband is 40 and is in a high-stress job that often keeps him working late hours.  We have a 3 year old son (who I had prior to being diagnosed with Fibro).  My pregnancy was pretty good... not really any major problems... normal fatigue, nausea, and aches and pains.  I had a difficult delivery... 36 hours of labour, 5 hours of pushing, then a C-section, all which made for a long recovery.  Our son is very active, and stong-willed, which when you are in a flare-up makes for some difficult and tiring days, especially after working 8 hours, and sometimes doing it on my own if my husband is kept late for work.

My husband was 1 of 3 children, and I was an only child... ideally we wanted to have 2 children, especially since I know how it can be to be a singleton.  We both know if we were to only have our son that financially we will be able to offer him more opportunities with activities which in turn should allow him to make many friends, so perhaps being an only child isn't such a problem.  So why do I feel a bit guilty?

My concern is that now that I have Fibro, which does cause me a lot of fatigue and discomfort during flare-ups, even with being on Cymbalta, what does that mean for getting pregnant and having another child?  If we decided to have another child, will I be able to get pregnant... I 've heard many women have a difficult time becoming pregnant, and at 34 I'm approaching the time when we'll need to make a decision soon.  Will I have a difficult pregnancy?  Will I be able to take any medications to help with flare-ups while pregnant?  Will I have the energy and the good health to get through the sleepless nights with a newborn?  Can I handle 2 active children on my own in my husband's absence? 

My husband's age is a factor as well... I'm concerned he won't have the stamina to help out with the sleepless nights and still be able to function 100% at his job.  He's very supportive of me and really helps out when he is home and I have flare-ups, but I don't want him to burn himself out.

Is there anyone out there that has asked themselves these same questions?  I'm hoping that someone might be able to provide some insight an support if you have been through this same crossroads situation.

Thanks for reading.

Kristin

I was able to take pain meds pregnant. It's up to your ob. Dr. It was just when I had severe pain. I had to carry a kidney stone for 6 months. Baby blocking so stone could't move and surgery had to be put off. I had to wait for the baby to get farther along so if they bump the baby during trying to retrieve the stone it could survive. I had lots of x- rays too. Don't recommend what happen to me, but sometimes It's out of your control. I am 46 and I have a 19 and 21 old kids. I just couldn't imagine chasing a toddler! But you do that now, so I would consider it. I hear kids get lonely being the only child. What I liked they could entertain each other, instead of mommy. Hope you can way out the negatives and have one.

Hi Kristin,
I already had Fibro when I was pregnant with my son. My pregnancy was my healthiest time in the past 10 years. I had normal pregnancy complaints like morning sickness and food aversions, but did not have the muscle pains, extreme fatigue (except in the first trimester) or the constant back pain. The doctors had no explanation for it. I also have a son who is 3 and would like to have another child, but my health is so bad right now that I cannot have one at this time. As far as taking medications during pregnancy that would be a conversation that you need to have with your OB. It might be a good idea to have a preconception appointment with your OB, so they can give their recommendations and give you more information. I would even discuss with your OB your previous delivery and see what they recommend for future deliveries. They may want to do a scheduled c-section close to your due date, which would hopefully cause less stress to your body than your previous delivery.
If you have the financial ability to have a 2nd child, both you and your husband are on board, and you have met with your OB to discuss your concerns, then I say go for it. My son loves to be around and play with other children. He is also fascinated with babies. Hopefully your son will be the same way for you and make the transition from 1 child to 2 children easier for your family.

I have found with my illness, that when it comes to my son, I always put him first. You will find ways to cope with raising a newborn. It won't be easy, but it won't stay that way for long.

Things that will make it easier on you:
1. If your son is not potty trained, then make sure he is before baby is born.
2. Make sure you son is on a set schedule and keep him on it after baby is born.
3. Each parent will need to carve out special time for your older son so he does not get jealous.
4. Make sure you have a set discipline plan for your son.
5. Try to get the newborn on a regular feeding schedule (if you can), so that mom and dad can switch off for feedings.
6. Have a set Mommy and Daddy time, so you can still connect as a couple.
7. Give yourself some slack and some time to rest. The more stress you have postpartum, the more likelihood Fibro could flare up.

Good Luck!
Rachel

Thanks everyone for all your responses... I guess my husband and I just need to do some real soul searching and see if we are ready to think about having another child. Hearing all your stories and feedback helps to put things in perspective... I really appreciate you all taking the time to read my post and reply. Best to all of you and gentle hugs.
Kristo