New to this

Hello;

I'm new to chat sites and forums, so please forgive me if I don't get the hang of this right away. I would like to start be telling you a little bit about myself. I am 52 years old, married with 2 grown children and 2 grandchildren. I don't want to start off with complaining, or at least I hope it doesn't sound like I am...but I do want to express what I have been dealing with.

As I said, I am 52, going through menopause and all the fun that goes with that. I have been epileptic since I was 5 years old. I have grand-mal seizures, though not nearly as often as I did growing up, only one or so a year if that. I have struggled with pain on and off for years, since I was a young mother, but it really increased about 7 years ago. Now it is to the point that I have days that I can't even get out of bed or I can barely walk across a room. My hands don't work most of the time and my head is in a fog most days. I can no longer work and my lifestyle has changed dramatically. Because of not being able to work, we are on a VERY tight budget and we only have one car and I don't drive anymore, so I feel like a prisoner most days though I rarely go anywhere even if I could. I get so frustrated and depressed and though I try to fight it there are days when thoughts of dying really attack me.

My husband is so encouraging. He makes me get up every day. He makes me get out of my PJ's and get dressed before he leaves for work. If it is a day when my skin is ultra sensitive he makes sure that I am in a nice jogging suit or something comfy. He makes sure I take B12 everyday and he tells me dumb jokes to make me laugh. He is so patient even when I know he would like to ring my neck.

Most days I feel old, useless and just a burden. My daughter and grandkids live 1500 miles away and our son just joined the Navy and will be deploying overseas very soon. It is getting more difficult trying to find reasons to get up each day. There is only so much housework that I can do even when I am having a good day. I miss working, but I know that I could not committ to a daily job when I would miss a lot of work due to the Fibromyalgia that I have. I try hobbies, but they don't make me feel better about myself. I just want to feel useful and as though I am contributing to something. I have been on several different antidepressants and they all worked for a while then stopped. I am now drug free and though I still battle with the depression, I am finding that the good days far outweigh the bad.

I would love a job that I could do from home, but there are so many scams out there.

I just need to feel useful again.

Thank you for listening to my rambling.

 

Welcome sunnymac- your story is so much like mine. I am 48 and going through menopause and suffer from seizures. I am disabled and don't drive due to my memory. I finally found this site and have received a lot of support here. I truly believe I am better because of this forum. I hope we can be a support for you and encourage you. I went through a difficult time in life, trying to find out reason to live. Through therapy work and friends support, I was able to turn my life around. I now have a daily schedule, which includes going out and having fun. Staying busy with distractions helps a great deal. It really helps the pain and helps you sleep better. I am not sure were you live, but my state we have a handicapped service that drives you around. Like I said I don't drive, but this allows me to go on outings. I also use a sad light for my depression with vitamin D. I was able to get a grant for mental health that pays for a therapist. I hope you can use some of these tools. It has really made a difference in my life. My budget has changed also from not working, but there is so many things you can take advantage of. You just have to look around.

Hi, Sunny, and welcome!  Yeah, fibro can be pretty miserable but there are ways you can help yourself.  First of all, if you sit or lay too much, you will be stiff as a board and have more pain.  Gentle exercises every day should be part of your agenda.  I walk my dog for 30 minutes every day and sometimes twice a day.  I will swim, too.  Yoga is another gentle exercise to do.  If you live in a cold and snowy area, you can get walking-in-place videos and get the movement in that way.  It really does help with the pain!

 

I also do gentle stretching exercises and I pace myself when doing things.  It all gets done but in a different time frame.  Gentle massages and moist heat help me too.  Many here have a Bed Buddy.  You can get these at Walgreens and other places.  I have one that goes around my shoulders like a shawl and it feels so good.

 

I take malic acid/magnesium supplements and vitamin D3 supplements and these have helped me with pain and fatigue, too.

 

Be sure to check out Fibro 101...the second thread on the forum.  There are links to good information about fibro and you will learn a lot there.  The gentle stretching exercises and info on the vitamins and supplements are found here, too. 

 

Set daily goals.  If you don't have direction, it's too easy to stay in bed and be sad.  I set daily goals that I am confident I can achieve.  At first I didn't get everything done that I set, but I just finished them the next day.  It makes you feel sooo good and you are accomplishing things, too.  Be sure to pace yourself.  It all gets done but in a different time frame.  I will clean for about 20 minutes and then sit down and rest for a few minutes and then clean some more.  I generally keep my computer on and go back that way. 

 

For example, I'm having Thanksgiving at my house...15 people!  YIKES!  I started planning and doing things last week for Thanksgiving.  Today is using my steam cleaner to touch up some spots.  I'll do it for a short time and then take a break.  I'm not looking forward to this, mind you, but I'll be beaming from ear to ear tonight when I look at how nice my carpeting looks.  You honestly can do far more than you think  you can!  It just takes a good attitude and a little planning.  I'm no spring chicken either.  I'm 64 years old.

 

Having a positive outlook on life has really helped me more than any medication could.  Instead of looking at the negatives in my life, I look at the positives and then I do feel happy!  Right now I see you have a wonderful hubby and children and a roof over your head.  You are so very fortunate.  If I look at the negatives, I make myself miserable and everyone around me miserable, too.  I'm far happier looking at the great things life has to offer.  This helps with my pain, too, and I am able to accomplish things I never thought I could because I will try now!  There is a good article in Fibro 101 about the steps to a positive attitude.  I hope you  enjoy reading it as much as I do.  I still go back to that, too.

 

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.  Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you.  Hope to hear more from you soon.

 

Sherrine

Sunnyma...welcome to hw forum. I am 50yrs.old and was dx with cp and fibro in 2007. I first became ill in 2003 and had 2 failed back surgeries which left me with cp and later dx with fibro. I am sorry you are feeling so down it is common with fibro. We all miss our old bodies. I forced myself to start to get out again luckily I was able to go back to work 3/4 time starting in 2008 but I also joined a ladies group called the Red Hats. This forces me out at least a couple times a month. Maybe try something like that. It sounds like you have a few hobbies that is always good even if all you can do is a little at a time.


Take care, Amy