Help with words

Tricia,
This just breaks my heart to hear that you're in so much pain.
I really hope that you will begin taking your pain meds again at least, so that you can have some quality of life. Eventually they may make it more tolerable so that you can fuction again.
But it sounds like that may only be putting a band aide on everything. You need support and to be in a healthy and loving enviroment, not one that is so detrimental to your physical and mental health.
Medications can improve the pain and make the days more tolerable, but you need more than that so that you can begin to enjoy life again.
You sound like such a sweet and compassionate person, it's hard to fathom that there's noone that you can turn to for help.
I'm not familiar with Canada's govermental programs, but there has to be help out there, whether it be through a charity, a church, a hospital, etc.
I know how daunting it must be to face the possibility of losing everything, but your health must come first!!
Everything else can be replaced, they're just material items, but this is your life. Please, consider reaching out for help.
You deserve so much more from life, please consider what we have all said to you.
Please keep us posted on how you're doing. We care.
Sending you a hug,
Amber

Tricia,
It's real easy for us to tell you to leave. We don't know him or your family, just know how you feel. It sounds like you are financially stable so I hope that you can find a way to a good therapist and or pain management doctor.

I've had c-diff before but never bad enough to be hospitalized. I had Ulcerative Colitis, for over 15 years, so was always aware of colon problems. I had to have my colon (large intestine and rectum) removed a year ago and ended up with 3 surgeries in 7 months. a stoma (outside poop bag) for a few months before my new plumbing was hooked up. I have an internal J-pouch, which was fashioned from part of my small intestines, that is learning to do colon work. The recovery process has been long and I've had some complications. That coupled with my fibro and other "issues", including PTSD, anxiety and depression have really gotten me down. I am seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants, anxiety, antibiotics, pain medications and a few other meds, including for my underactive thyroid.

My reason for telling you all of that is I'm not going to give up after going through all I have the last 16 years. I didn't suffer to quit now.

So while it's easy for us to try to tell you what we think you should do - we have not experienced it as you have. I've had to cut off a few people, including my mother as they were trying to tell me how I should be feeling and that I should just suck it up etc.

Until they've walked in our shoes they don't/can't tell how we feel.

I hope you can try to break out of your isolation some. I'm a good one to talk about that as I seem to only be going to doctor and test appointments - but I am gradually doing more - baby steps.

I hope you are doing better and if not you have people here that care about you.

Take care,
Paulette

Tricia,

This may sound like a hard thing to do, but have you considered going to a women's shelter until you can get moved into a different place? What he is doing to you is NOT right, is NOT ethical, and no one deserves to be treated that way! Especially not someone who has given her life to everyone else. My heart truly sank when I read that:( People are out for themselves and take advantage of the ones who are out there for others. I know where you are coming from because I wear my heart on my sleeve, and people have been walking all over me my ENTIRE life. My parents didn't help on that front...grrrr....

I wish we could meet so I could give you the biggest hug in the world, and tell you that 'everything is going to be fine'. Deep down, I believe everything works out in the end. I try to keep a little faith, even in the lowest of times, but it can be hard when you're facing next to impossible odds.

Please continue being strong, but do get away from that 'person' whom wishes death on you. That...I cannot wrap my mind around. Perhaps a talking to with myself and my husband would help, but if he's had abusive tenancies in the past, don't count on him ever changing, and get yourself ready to move:( The stress of being there far outweighs the stress of getting out and not knowing where to go.

My thoughts are with you, hang in there:)