Could it just be my imagination?

Hello,

I'm new to this forum but have read a lot of the information provided here. Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this amazing discussion board.
I have not actually been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. For the last few years, I have suffered from a lot of aches and pains, and everytime it got really bad , I'd go to the doctor and when asked what was wrong I would complain about my most prominant pain at the time, because obviously the rest is just my imagination. So, I'm tired all the time, I'm a working mother of 2 boys, it's normal, right?!! So every bit of my body hurts, my muscles are sore , I can't get a good night sleep, I wake up more tired than when I went to bed, Well, I just need a vacation!!!!
This is how I handled it for years, and I forgot to mention that everytime I went to the doctor, they ruled out thyroid issues or anything else that could lead to the pain and sent me home with naproxen, daypro or some other pain medicine. I was also diagnosed with depression and have been on many different antidepressant since.
Recently, my fatigue and pain have gotten so much worse, and of course since I'm always tired and can't do what I set out to do everyday, or if I do I'm wiped out for days, my antidepressant is not working as well. I'm having panic attacks everyday, just thinking about what I have to do.
Anyways, excuse my ramblings, one day I did a search about always being tired and came across fibromyalgia as one of the results. The more I read the more things clicked, even with the tender points which seem to be one of my biggest complaints , even the slightest touch now seems to send me screaming.
I know I can't diagnose myself, but now that I did 'my research' I'm wondering what it is that I want now , do I want a diagnosis of a condition that seems to have no cure? Why? Do I just want a label or an excuse to why I can't get all these things done ? What do I really want?
And what if the doctors say that I don't have it, what then?! I have a doctor's appointment in 4 weeks, do I really want to go through the diagnosis process to either be told it's just my imagination or be actually diagnosed with an incurable condition?
The choices really suck, but I suppose at this point in my life the one thing I could hope for is the validation that I'm not CRAZY!!
Thank you for reading my post, I guess I just needed to rant or hear from people who went through the same craziness I'm going through.

Nermuda,

Sorry to hear about your issues. This doctor's appointment that you have in 4 weeks, is that a rheumatologist? Make sure it's a doctor who is knowledgeable about fibro and one who would check your tender points otherwise it could be a waste of time.

Good luck to you.

 Hi everyone I am new to this also and I do have Fibromyalgia,RA, OA Throid hypo  Tendinitus and I started with all the pain a year ago in my muscles and my bones.It took a year to dignoise me.My family doctor and my specialists have me on ,joint gluamisin vitamin- thyroid and the best of all 20mgs of Cymbalta that has taken my pain away and not as tired.I sleep so much better at night and more energy than before but I still have flare ups!I work two jobs and it is so hard to get up every morning at 5am and work all day till 5pm. I go to Church every Sunday and Pray and that has also helped me so much! Take care everyone!

Wow, I am really overwhelmed with all this support! Thank you all so much for your fast responses to my post.

Michellet824,
I'm glad it's not just me and that you and others understand what I'm going through! I wish you the best of luck on your journey, and med trials. Be strong and stay positive(I should really take my own advice to heart, ha?! ;D)

almost medfree,
Unfortunately, due to insurance issues, I have to start this journey at a pcp and take it from there. I trust that if God wants me to get a diagnosis He will guide me and help me. Thank you so much for your reply.

masschaos,
I am truly sorry to hear about your depression, I have suffered from this cursed condition forever it seems. I know too much about how this can be debilitating and feel like you're in this big gaping hole trying to claw your way out of. But I will tell you that therapy does help, if you stick with it, and I know medication holds me together so that I don't fall apart every day of my life.
Take control of your life and decide what YOU need to get better, and do it. I hope you feel better soon, I'm there for you if you need to rant like I just did. And definitely look for a different pcp!!

tink01,
You are a strong & brave person. I admire how hard you work and also how you make time for church in your busy schedule!
I hope your medications keep working for you and make you stronger! God bless!

Karen,
Thank you for replying to my post. It really does help to know I'm not the only one who's going through this.
Actually, I have read fibro 101 before I even read anything else in this forum and you're right it is a plethora of information.
I especially love the "Spoons theory" , it is a remarkable way to look at it.

Thanks again for all this support!!!

Welcome tinko, nermada. You will find this forum very helpful to you. I have been here about a year and I have improved so much. I learned new treatments from other post. The support is great here. You will finally feel that somebody believes you and understands what you are going through. So don't feel shy in asking questions or just need to vent. Lol The more I keep my treatment simple, the better I seem to get. I wish I had all this info on fibro years ago, no I had to take the long way around. Lol

nermada,

Thanks for your encouragement. I have dealt with depression for 14 years with the highs and very lows that come with it. I was determined to try to survive without the medication because I was so scared of them, but came to such a low that I couldn't go on any longer. Out of desperation, decided on therapy, hoping to be able to do it without the medications. Deep down, I know that I can not do it without them, so I have decided to go back on them and hope that colonoscopies will tell me if in deed they are causing me any problems. I can reassess at that time.

Altho I am excited about the therapy, I am also scared because I know it is going to be hard work and I feel like it is kind of a last chance situation. I figure that this is it! I have let things in my life go for so long that it has been a hard road trying to just get back to even, if you know what I mean. I feel overwhelmed with just doing normal things! I have been forcing myself to do little things like go through my drawers and assess my clothing situation, which I did lastnight. I bought and planted some flowers in the garden and it was a huge deal for me just getting that done. Getting a shower is also huge. It was SO hard to make myself do those things. I have to push myself to do anything. I sometimes feel like I will never catch up. Then, well, life goes on, so there are things in everyday life to keep up with! And this hurting all the time while feeling like I am fighting a mental battle, it is really hard!

I hope you are feeling some better today and that you are able to get a diagnosis soon, if that is what you decide to do. I know what you mean about getting the diagnosis. I felt like I wanted one because I hoped for pain medication to help with the pain. I was, of course, going to refuse the antidepressants tho. But now, I am going to go back on the medications for depression and hope that I get at least as much relief from them as I did when I was taking the 6 months ago. We will see.

Wishing you much luck with your depression, panic attacks and possibly fibromyalgia. Please keep us updated on your condition and whether or not you get that diagnosis.

masschaos

By the way, I am a 51 year old mother of 2 daughters and grandmother of 2 girls and 5 boys. (I know that probably doesn't matter, but I often wonder how old and what gender people are who are posting.)

Post Edited (masschaos) : 4/2/2012 10:02:02 AM (GMT-6)

masschaos,

I am a 36 year old mom of 2 active boys, 12 & 14, I work with my husband in our small coffee shop. He is the brain of the operation and I (uhhemm of course) am the talent, which really means I run the kitchen! So my job starts at 7 am and it's a race till 3:30 pm. Standing on my feet, running around, chopping, flipping, you name it, I do it. By the end of my day at work, I feel like I've been run down by a bus.
I really do understand what you mean, by letting things go in your life. It's an uphill battle trying to catch up, most days it feels like that slope is really slippery but we just need to keep tugging along and take it one inch at a time!
I have had a rough week so far, today at work one of my coworkers seems to think it's okay to kinda nudge(shove) you along to get u out of her way instead of going around you. Well, she did it to me today and this incredible pain started where she "nudged" me and just spread through my whole body, that I just found tears rolling down my cheeks, but I had to keep working through the pain, and just let the tears roll.
Ok, let me tell u something, I have always had a very high threshold for pain, as in I'm not a wimp!! :)) So I called my doctor, & got an appointment for tomorrow. I am soooo nervous about it , I don't know how to approach this. I have printed out a list of my symptoms and I' ll just have to pray for the best.

Debbie,
Thank you for the warm welcome, I am so happy I found this forum.It really has so much info and a lot of support, which I believe many of us need.

nermada,
Wow! It sounds like you have a very busy life! I can't imagine working that many hours and then having teenaged boys to come home to!

Good luck at your appointment tomorrow!

Keep us updated!

masschaos

Hey guys,
Thank you for all the good wishes. :))
So, I went with my list of symptoms to the doctor today, she glanced over it and said "You have a lot going on. We're probably not going to get through all of it today, we will chip away at it a couple of things at a time." Like it's not all related! She then steered the conversation towards my depression, like it's the cause of all of it. I've had depression for more than 12 years, and these symptoms only a few years at the most! Anyways, when I said something to the effect of this, she started with the weakness in my hands and tremors, and she was just really going to address a couple of symptoms at a time, when something great happened!!
She started checking mu neck for thyroid symptoms , when she pushed on one of the tender points, I guess and I winced. She then finally started asking if any other places hurt like this, and then she said she's going to have to consult someone, which was admirable I admit. (I still don't like her and my next appt is with another doctor in the same practice, but I digress) She came back, didn't really say much but handed me a script for a bunch of tests with the diagnosis of "Myalgia". I think this is a first step in eliminating all the major concerns like lupus, RA.. etc.
So, it wasn't a total waste of time, we'll see how it goes after they get my test results.
Again, thank you guys for being there and all support, I can't really talk to my husband about it. He freaks out about anything that has to do with health!! Wimp! ;D
Good night to all!

nermada,
So glad you are on the road to a diagnosis. Keep us updated.

masschaos

So glad they are checking everything out!Let us know Good Luck!