Purpose?

Hello, Kagendo, and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age, because it's no small matter (as i don't need to tell you.) I was only a few years older than you when I started having symptoms, so I know how frustrating it is.

I'm not one to say I know what the purpose for this affliction is, but it certainly does make us more compassionate toward others - how could it not? We know that people can be in great pain, and have severe suffering, and look "just fine," that tests can show someone is "perfectly normal," and yet be far from it. We also learn patience because - well - we don't have a heck of a lot of choice!

Kudos to you on planting a garden. That will lift your spirits! :)

When I was young, my doctor didn't want to prescribe pain meds for regular use, either, although I did have some for occasional breakthrough pain. I got by with a daily antidepressant for sleep and raised Serotonin levels - Nortriptyline. (Now I do take narcotics daily, but I have more going on, too. I still wish I didn't need them, and hope to come off of them all someday.)

Have you checked out Fibro 101, the second thread on this forum? There's so much helpful information there, on many pertinent aspects of this invisible condition. I hope you post often, and become part of the "family." We support eachother greatly, because we all get it.

Debbie

People have to find their own way through their life. Comparisons with others will only bring you down further. Your job is to build yourself up.

For me, personally, my job gives me a good deal of focus, even though I currently do not like it very much.

For the past three years, I have been pretty depressed, and have found it harder to find things to do that give ME joy. I certainly hope that the worst of the depression is past me. Find something to do every day. You do not need to give up the outdoors-that's defeatist thinking. You just need to find what you can do that will allow you the enjoyment as well as not be too taxing.

I do water aerobics, and bike with my partner. I love to cook. I read a good deal. I enjoy sports. TV and movies do not really distract me, since I am a terrible acting snob. I enjoy planting my herbs, feeding my birds, and doing battle with my squirrel.

Hello Kagendo,

Your post Purpose?, caught my attention. A couple of weeks ago, I also posted a thread entitled - Purpose? I think it's on pg 4 now. I got some great responses from others who are sharing similar feelings. To relax and let life just be, is one thing which really helps and has always been a challenge for me, ill or no.

Congratulations on being a newlywed! How wonderful! :) I celebrated my 18th anniversary yesterday with my husband.

I am also applying for disability. I have been denied 3 times. I had a hearing before a judge last summer and re-applied starting all over in January. Good luck to you. It is a giant pain in the butt! I really believe in my heart though, that I deserve it. I think of it as, if I am approved, it will be a blessing for my family. No longer earning an income has been the most difficult thing for me in being ill. Not being able to "pull my own weight" as I have done my entire life. By earning money, I had determined my worth in the world. But, isn't this what we are taught? We become of value when we are successful? Which connects back to purpose in that many people believe who they are is what they do for a living. I have learned this is not true. I am still working on this, but have realized who I am or my purpose is not about money.

I love to plant a garden and flowers too. It takes me a lot longer now. But, I still plan to do it again this summer. The weather where I live has not been to good yet, only a few warm days sprinkled in. Most recently this past weekend, but it went from 50's to 80 and the quick change in temperature was too much for me. I could do little.

I am 50 however your question about purpose doesn't become defined by age. This illness is difficult at any age. I do not look like my peers either, or more importantly I do not look like what I thought I wanted for my life at this time. My youngest son is nearly grown and when I was your age, my children were little and I dreamed of what it would be like after they'd grown and left home. The plans, the traveling, the doing things one can't while raising children. All has changed. My plans that is... My plans weren't real though. They were only thoughts.

In the past couple of weeks really concentrating on this - my purpose - I have come to a conclusion that I am living my purpose. Is it crazy to consider this illness has come to teach me things that otherwise I would not have known?

I hope you can find peace of mind. I really needed to stop feeling quilt and trying to be something I can't. To accept my abilities for what they now are, so that I don't continue to keep letting myself down. Like I said... I am still working on this!!! I am trying to be more patient with myself and it's not easy. C is the new A!

My best to all!