Deciding to have 3rd child after being diagnosed with FM. NEED ADVICE OR EXP!!!!!!

Hello and welcome TeresaMarie86.

Deciding to have a baby after fibromyalgia is a very hard decision and only one you can make. If you think you are strong enough to deal with the pain and crazy hormones at the same time, then you should definitely try for another. If you feel that it would be hard, and perhaps too difficult with the other children at home, you should reconsider.

I was diagnosed with FM after my first and decided to have a second. I had planned on staying on meds throughout the pregnancy but had hyperemesis (not sure if I spelled that correctly-basic got sick all day, every day) and could not keep any meds down. Sometimes the anti-nausea meds would not stay down either. I ended up in the hospital several times for extended periods and at least once a week for IV fluids. Towards the end, I ended up in the hospital on IV morphine because my pain was causing too much stress on me, and in turn the baby. I made it to 37 weeks and she was born perfectly fine, and without any drug dependency. I was lucky to get through that and that my baby was okay. Unfortunately, my first child suffered from me not being around for 9 months. It took everything in me just too survive the pregnancy.

Now, having told you all that, I would never trade my child for anything. She is one of the best things in my life and I am happy I had her even though it was so difficult. My son has a sibling and they care so much for each other. I am not sure I would do it again knowing what I know now...but I can't go back. I do know that for me, I am done with babies. My body just was not made for making babies...at least I have two great children! Now I just have to stay healthy to help my husband raise them and so that I can see them graduate, get married and have babies of their own.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you make. I hope that if you are pregnant, you have a pain free (or not too much pain) pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby.

LupusMomma

TeresaMarie,

Wow, you do have a big decision to make!! Do you mind if I ask why you have to have surgery to start Menopause? I mean, is your general health good, fibro aside?

I didn't know I had Fibro (had never heard of it) way back in 1988. But life was becoming harder and harder, physically. I had a lot of back pain and just felt "off" - tired, stressed, weak. I couldn't exercise like I always had before. Part of me really wanted a 3rd child, and my husband would have liked about 8...I finally decided to go ahead, and I'm so glad I did. BUT it was hands-down my hardest pregnancy...nothing high-risk from a medical point of view, but I mean as far as how I felt, no comparison - way more nausea, fatigue, and muscle aches. Plus I was being pulled in more directions, with 2 small children.

It's such an individual thing. I LOVE babies, in fact I wanted more, and dreamed I was pregnant, way past the age when it made any sense. I grieved not being able to have more (after the 3rd, I KNEW I couldn't put my body through it again) probably because we had 2 girls now and I wished I could give our son a brother. One thing you shouldn't feel is guilty if you decide not to. Of course you know that logically, but that pull toward the "all-bountiful mother" archetype can be an amazingly strong one. You have to live in the 3-dimensional reality of your body.

Best of luck,

Debbie

That's got to be so stressful a choice. My sister-in-law has Endometriosis, and it has been a huge problem for her most of her life. She had a complete hysterectomy at around age 34. I know how it can dominate your life, second-hand, that is...I feel for you!

Debbie