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Posted 8/20/2012 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I haven't been on the forum for quite a while. I guess I've been trying to deal with fibro on my own and it was going okay.  I lost about 80 lbs. and that seemed to help with the fatigue and also with the arthritis in my knees, hips and back.  We also have a new grandson and he is the light of my life.  The question I have is,  How do I get some family members to understand that it is real hard for me to chase a 16 month old around the house all day?  I don't want to hurt anyones feelings by saying this is to much because I want to see my grandson lots, but by about 6 o7 at night I am so tired that sometimes I can't even focus my eyes.  Does anyone else go through this or is this just part of being a grandma?

Posted 8/20/2012 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats on your loss of weight! When it comes to my family understanding, I have it a tad lucky. My father also has fibro, so my mother fully understands. When I needed a break when watching kids I would do routine visits to McDonald's. I would or them a drink and a fry to share, me a salad and have them run in the play area. I sat near the door, as usually it has only one entrance/exit, at least here in Oregon. Some have play areas, some don't, you just have to see which ones do and don't. I would spend 2 to 3 hours just letting the kids play, it gave me a break, and I was able to do it by ding my breaks. When it is nap time, take a nap in the same room as the kid. I'd put a chair in front of the door (so the kid has no choice but to wake me up) and sleep in the chair. Not sure if you have a Discovery Zone either, but you can check the kids in there. Its like a huge Chuck E. Cheese play area. You can even watch. Chuck E. Cheese is another one, or Pietro's Pizza. They both have play areas, kids play and eat, and adults get a break. There are play groups you can sign up for too, you stay there with the kid and the kid gets to play with other kids. Swimming pool works, plus you got lifeguards to chase kids too. He/She would have to wear a little swimmer though. Even the grocery store works, some grocery stores even have child care, like Fred Myers. Enclosed playgrounds are good too.
Posted 8/20/2012 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
I am not sure if all grandparents go through it but it's hard. I have 10 grandchildren and I have 2 of them living with us for another 2 weeks. They arrived mid June and their mom is staying in town with her man but there is no room for the kids??

I was told originally they would be staying here and with their numerous aunts, and her parents but so far it's been here other than 5 nights at sleepovers. I am exhausted.

The worst is finacially we just can not afford this and I have told her outright but it's oh we'll I am going to give you something but of course nothing comes. I suggested I take the boys to zoo to relieve some of their boredom and she said you know that's expensive? Oh well she is my problem I assume you are not expected to be the free daycare like me.

I have told all the other children that during this time I can not keep anymore children they are welcome to come by and play but I can not do anymore. My daughters take the boys for a day or two each week to movies or swimming. Their mom takes them every sat and sun she picks them up at 10 and has them all day brings them back for supper time, she sometimes feeds them a hotdog for lunch. Grrrrrrr sorry I ranted again.

Lol, I actually did the McDonalds play area this morning but it is not something I would recommend. I think you should let your family members read the spoon theory it's in the fibro101 thread. It makes things easier to understand because when I'm sorry I am tired does not work they need a gentle push to realise what's going on.

My issue will be dealt with in 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after that one of my daughters and her 3 children will be moving across Canada as well so my grandma time will be reduced massively. I hope you can get yours under control before you have several like me.

I say this at least ten times a day I am tired, I am sore, but I will try to if you will help me.
Posted 8/20/2012 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
I would suggest taking one of your family members to a doctor's appointment with you. That's what I did with my daughter for one of my appointments.

Good luck to you.
Posted 8/21/2012 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Congrats on the weight loss, shows what a strong, determined woman you are.

My grandkids are also the light of my life, I could just squeeze the puddin' out of them.

I had this life plan of being a wonderful grammie and taking the grandkids on all kinds

of wonderful adventures. Then along came fibro, so much for life plans.

I told my children I would be glad to watch the little ones if they wanted to go on date night,

had an appt. or needed a couple hours of peace and quiet. If it was any longer than that grandpa

had to be home to help.

I will only do overnights if grandpa is here in the early mornings to make breakfast when the

little ones get up.

Taking care of those grandkids is exhausting for a few hours let alone all day.

 

Posted 8/21/2012 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for the good advice.  I'm going to print the spoon theory and have everyone read it.  I think that should help alot.  It sure puts things in perspective. 

I too had planned to be able to be with my my grandchildren or child whenever I wanted, but with this fibro, I guess I just do what I can when I can and I'm still so thankful that I'm able to get around and do ordinary things every day, I just have to understand that things may take a little longer to get done than they used to.  (I was diagnosed in March of 2009 with fibro.)

Again, thank you all for the support and good advice.

American Woman

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