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Posted 10/11/2012 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I hate to say it but I have been feeling sorry for myself the last few days which is not something that I usually do. The last few weeks have been very difficult and for some reason my fatigue is much worse. Work has been difficult because I travel an hour to and from work everyday so it is hard to work up the motivation to get out of bed and get going in the morning because I just dread the commute. I also drive around a lot during the day for my job so I get pretty exhausted from that too. I have been late to work everyday for the past few weeks, which isn't a huge deal because I am so mobile that it isn't unusual for me to not be in the office first thing. But, I am not getting enough done at work. I'm not behind in anything but I am just at the bare minimum. This isn't like me because I have a very strong work ethic and do not slack as a rule.But I'm so tired in the morning that nothing seems to be important enough to get me out of bed. If I have a meeting with a client around 11 I'll call and reschedule for later in the day. It's not a big deal but I shouldn't be doing it. My pain is being managed fairly well from meds but I still get stiff and have some pain but it is mostly the fatigue that has just knocked me on my behind. I've also been stressed with school because that is eating into my work time as well. I have a hard time concentrating so I easily fall behind unless I sneak in homework while I am supposed to be working. My boss knows about this and she doesn't really care as long as my work is done. But, there are times like last night when I had a ten page paper due by midnight and I finally passed it in by 3am. I woke up this morning and could not get up on time. I called my boss and made up an excuse about why I needed to work from home today, which she was fine with but I just hate the person my fibro has made me become. I know that a lot of my fatigue is probably triggered by my erratic sleeping pattern due to going to bed at different times at night and then trying to wake up at the same time in the morning regardless of what time I went to bed but it's the only way to get through school. I just feel like I am always in slow motion and everyone around me can do a hundred things by the time I do one thing. I know that I go at a slower pace then others because of the fibro and that I shouldn't compare myself to others without fibro but I am also just so sick of it. I know I'll snap out of this mindset eventually, but for now it's just where I'm at and I can't help but wallow in it. Thanks for listening.

-Jen
Posted 10/11/2012 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you have alot on your plate with commuting, work and school and in addition to the pain of fibro, you seem depressed and guilty. I have been there. I held a state job for years and kept going in late, calling with excuses, calling in sick and feeling down right guilty for not being "like everyone else". They eventually fired me but I was able to get disability pay thru the job not thru social security. Social Security turned me down. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I feel for you and I understand. Just continue doing the best you can and take some time for yourself to just relax. A hot bath with epsom salt and lighted candles helps me or reading an uplifting novel. I read Karen Kingsbury novels, she is a christian fiction writer and I can get lost in her stories. Listening to good music or meditation tapes helps me too. When you start doing little things for yourself and accept that you are not like everybody else, you can stop feeling guilty and take it a day at a time. Take care of youself.
Posted 10/12/2012 8:45 AM (GMT 0)
Jenc318- wow! You do have lots on your plate. Fatigue is my hardest thing. I finally look into my diet, thyroid and sleep pattern. All of these were out of wack. I feel so much better since I got them adjusted. Maybe you can find some time to pamper yourself. I am just learning that myself. I hope you get some rest.
Posted 10/12/2012 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like something in your life is going to have to give. You can't be in all of these places at once. Well, technically you CAN, but probably shouldn't. Maybe school needs to go on the back burner or possibly you need to move closer to your job or get a new job which I know isn't easy right now. If its possible, you could also try to get reduced hours as work.
Sorry to hear things are rough right now, I've been there myself.
Posted 10/12/2012 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
I have a hard time getting up for work, as well.

My rules:

1. Set the alarm for half an hour earlier than you would normally get up.
2. Hitting snooze is allowed.
3. Shower immediately-it loosens up the muscles.
4. NO sitting down on the bed, ever. Not even for shoes or pantyhose or socks.
5. Always go to bed at around the same time.

I take a prescription sleep med, which works okay. Not great, but it means that I am getting deep sleep, instead of restless sleep. This helps cut fatigue.

I also drive a good deal, 3-4 hours each way every other week. (LDR)

No music.
No cellphones.
No food.
Coffee and water, only.
Posted 10/13/2012 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone!

I have been looking for a job closer to home for a few years now and there just isn't anything that would be worth it. I've been with my company 5 years now so I get a lot more vacation and sick time then I would if I switched jobs and jobs in the city pay more then around where I live. I also wouldn't be able to get away with doing homework at work or being late to work like I am now. I am having a sleep study done mid November so hopefully that will shed some light on things. I had labs done a few weeks ago and my dr. said she was concerned my thyroid level was a little high so I did more labs to confirm but haven't heard back yet. I also take 1/4 of a 5mg tablet of ambien at night which is just enough to keep me asleep but not contribute to my fatigue in the morning, at least I don't think so. I am taking elavil 50mg which I try and take as early as possible in the pm but it is usually around 8pm which I know may be too late but that is when I get home from work. As far as school, I am only going part time, two classes each semester. I have two years to go.. but they are all online. I'm thankful that the college I wanted to go to has a satellite online program otherwise there is no way I could work full time and go to school. I don't want to put school off because I feel like my fatigue will only get worse with time, and my husband and I have been putting off having kids until I am done with school. So, I don't want to quit school, have a small child, and have fibro, and try and pick school back up later on because it won't happen. I do need to do more relaxing things for myself I just need to figure out what those things should be..
Posted 10/14/2012 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
Deepwell,

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 5 years ago and while I do have significant depression with extreme irritability I have never bought that I have bd. I take meds for it and it has been a huge improvement in managing my depression and irritability but I work in mental health and I just don't think I have it. I hope that my doctor calls me back about my lab work soon. My doctor's office has a patient portal so I am able to see my lab results and I scoured the internet trying to decipher their meaning but from what I can tell everything seems to have come back normal. Which is good in one aspect but bad in another because now I have to do more work trying to figure out what is contributing to my fatigue.
Posted 10/14/2012 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
Jence have you look into your diet with the fatigue? I would of never thought it would make this big of difference. I had horrible fatigue. I am still making slow changes, but my consumption of sugars and carbs are getting less. I am learning how to read back of packages.
Posted 10/14/2012 5:14 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, I know that I should start eating healthier but honestly I don't know a whole lot about healthy food. My family didn't eat healthy growing up and I was never overweight so it really wasn't a problem. Of course over the past few years I have gained weight from a number of reasons I'm sure. I also have very sensitive taste buds from the fibro I think. There are just some things that don't settle right with me either by taste or smell. I usually stick with blander food or food without a lot of flavor notes. My husband and I have completely different taste in food so it is hard to make a weekly menu. I have tried looking at healthy recipes but they all seem so overwhelming because I have to buy a bunch of new ingredients. I prefer to just have some cereal in the morning, snack throughout the day, and then have dinner at night but I need to find healthier snacks that I can actually stomach. Thank you for the advice!
Posted 10/15/2012 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
GGgggrrrrr. The fatigue is so disheartening! It makes me feel unproductive - like I am not contributing to my family. I am newly diagnosed, but have been dealing with the problem for a few years... But, yes, I hear you! We know it will turn around, but it feels good to have a community to express our frustrations to! Feel better!
Posted 10/15/2012 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
Start buying a few fresh fruits and vegies when you shop, gradually work them into your diet. You will get there. Keep moving forward.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/15/2012 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
I suffer from fatigue that can be crippling at times, but previously it was so bad that after I ate anything, it would feel like I had been shot with a tranquilizer dart. What helped was cutting out gluten as much as possible. My diet had tons of gluten in it and what was happening was that it was spiking my blood sugar and then crashing 20 mins after I ate. I still have to cope with fatigue, but limiting gluten puts me more in control of things.
Posted 10/18/2012 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
I can relate to what you said

about everybody else being able to do things faster
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