Posted 10/30/2012 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
Red,
normally I would wait for the dampness and cold to run it's course on me - I'd just be inside wearing soft and warm clothes...just taking it easy but I started riding a bicycle recently and.....well, here are my last 2 posts (in the Depression forum), I think you'll get the idea. Not sure if this was a great idea but, well...mentally, I'm feeling terrific.
OCT 27
well, just got in from a great ride. Nearly 3 hours in the rain and dark on a trail I've never ridden before. I was rigged tho'...had a bright halogen headlight strapped to me noggin'. Still quite a thrill to be scootin' along in a light tunnel not knowing whats around the bend.
Days were, I'd turn to spending, drugs, booze for that rush of danger but WOW that bike ride was an real adrenalin rush. I know now how I'm gonna beat my depression and maybe even finally quit smoking. I don't figure I've many more years that I'll be able to ride like this [I'm 52] so I best dive right in.
OCT 28
I went for another epic bike ride on Sunday night - in the dark and rain and on yet more new trails. I discovered miles and miles of trails, some really tough, that are managed by a group of Off-Road Bicycle enthusiasts. I got onto a trail that wound crazily through the thick, dark forest, presenting at once mud, water, rocks and roots.
I quickly realised that my bike was under-equipped for this trail but pushed on anyhow. I grew up riding dirt bikes so the more the trail threw at me, the more I relished it. At least until my first flight over the handle-bars!
Seems I got a tad too close to some trees trying to avoid deep water and the branches grabbed the bike - it pretty well stopped dead but I kept on going.......
When I saw the ground rising to meet me, it was with a smile that I welcomed the old familiar impact of shoulder to dirt. At least in that moment I smiled inwardly...Once I came to rest in the mud, I didn't feel so ...elated. Now, I'm 52 and in pretty good shape but by the time I'd been home for an hour, the dampness and cold (not to mention my unplanned flight and subsequent crash landing) had gone to work on my Fibro. I ended up calling in sick form work on Monday, I was so sore.
Today doesn't see much improvement so far, and many may say I got what I deserved or that I should know better but I refuse to let the conditions I suffer from keep me from what I consider fun. I knew when I started riding there'd be dues to pay - even without crashing.
So, I'll get through today, have a good meal and hot bath tonight but stay off the bike for a couple of days. I'm quite sore pretty much everywhere but it's a good sore - if there be such a thing - like I've awakened my body with fresh air and a blood recycle.
The greatest thing to come out of this is how 'up' I feel. It's as though I've drowned the depression....a very good feeling. I hope everyone can get this feeling today.
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Brian