How do you stop the “why me?”

I’m in the middle of a massive flare of both Fibro and CFS…

I spent the day having blood tests, trying new medications, trying to figure out how I’m ever going to catch up on work, school work, house work, sleep… Desperately needing to take the afternoon off work, but having no one to cover for me because my boss’s wife is having a baby…

Now I'm feeling like the most horrible person in the world because my reaction to finding out he was hours away from being a Dad was to think about how it’s going to affect me now that I can’t take time off for a few weeks.

I don’t feel like I can really mention it at work, because I don’t want to be THAT person who takes attention away from the new parents.

 

So yes. I have a massive case of the why-mes and a hefty dose of it’s-so-unfair to boot.

 

Any suggestions on how to pull my head out of my butt and get on with it?

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough day.

I don't know if it would help, but for me, when I'm having a really rough day, either from my pain flaring up or from depression or stress or some combination, A hot bath and a good book always help me to relax a bit. I am generally a very high strung person, so sitting still long enough to enjoy a hot bath isn't easy, but I've found if I get a really good book, something that just sucks you into it, where you can tune out reality, let the hot water (and maybe some nice scented candles) do their work, and enjoy some fantasy world that the book takes you too, helps me feel a little bit better.

It doesn't fix it, or make the things go away, but it does let me take an hour or more of the day where I can try and unwind.

Maybe it could help you

<3 I hope you feel better
~Amnestria

Thank you all for the suggestions, and the reminder that this IS actually hard so I shouldn’t beat myself up over finding it hard some days.

I hauled my butt into work, and I actually had a pretty good afternoon. Working with kids is an awesome way to get your head right. All the kids came in as hyper active as Chihuahuas on speed, that were being distracted by something shiny… You can’t sulk when you’re surrounded by 43 hyperactive kids. It’s a physical impossibility.

Plus my boss’s brother (who also works with us occasionally) was sending baby pics all afternoon. And then my boss messaged to let us know what he’d named his son… any thoughts about the horrible timing just flew out the window, this child is beautiful and his parents are SO happy… It’s impossible to feel anything other than joy about it.

I’m still bummed about the whole everyone else moving on with their lives thing, but it’s not as bad as it was this afternoon. It’s kind of like the feeling of watching people with enough money to be comfortable, and then going back home to be completely broke.

I think what set it off was that I was just expecting a normal doctor’s appointment this morning, I went to get some pain killers to help settle the flare down… And instead I get met with “Well I’m not convinced this is just the Fibro,” and get sent off for another repeat of the same old blood tests.
Early in the year I thought there was something else developing, because my symptoms had changed and had gotten so much worse… But then all the tests came back perfect and it was like being diagnosed again. (I’ve been diagnosed for well over 10 years.) I was just getting my head back around the concept… Then I have this stupid flare.
My normal doctor was away, so I saw my back up doctor. He freaked out and ran a massive series of blood tests, because he’s convinced there’s something else going on. (He may have a point, this is the first time I’ve had redness and swelling with a flare… but I all I wanted was the tablets, darnit.)

BUT on the bright side the tablets (forget what they’re called, anti inflammatories) have kicked in and I’m not as sore. I’m actually feeling like I might be able to sleep well for the first time in weeks.

So yes. Not quite so woe-is-me tonight, thank you :)

Madisun, the "why me" and "its not fair" is something we all go thru. It is not fair to our family that we can't get out and romp and rare with them, or if we do we pay for it later. My pain/back doctor sent me to a therapist. I was very hesitate to go, the therapist even called me out on it, I had so much hesitation. I ended up giving it a try. The therapist told me I did not have to come back if I do not want to after the first visit. Want To?? Oh heck yeah. She really connected to me. It was like she really understood how I felt. How I thought I was cheating my kids. How unfair this is, my kids deserve more! I am still seeing her and she really makes sense. I feel my therapist believes me more than my pain/back doctor. There are places that offer very low cost to no payment mental health. I went to her yesterday, I was depressed and gloomy and it was cold and rainy so you know i was hurting. When i walked out of her office i was smiling and had a great day. Just releasing things you can say to others or don't want others to hear can bring you such peace and when you have peace your pain will ease. Good lluck to you!

I think to myself, why NOT me? Seems silly but it does help me.

I am kind of stuck in the land of Why mes right now. When I can't find the exit door, I curl up and read for a bit. I find someway to hide myself away and lose myself in the story. I eventually come out of it and pick up the pieces and carry on for my kids.
Right now I am so tired of the why me and it isn't fair, that I refuse to discuss anything about my life with anyone except my family. I can't stand the thought of pity or sounding like a complainer.

Medfree,

I am always upbeat and happy with my friends. I answer whatever questions they have but only with the information I think they need to know. With the way my life has gone in the last few years, I don't make a habit of telling everyone my junk. The people who know the most are family. The only one who knows everything is my husband. And all he wants to do is "fix" me.
So I am truly sorry if you don't approve of how I deal with my friends.

I think I need to go back to therapy. I can see the winter is going to be long. It really helps when you can unload on someone that knows how to help chronic illness. I feel it's a safety net for me.