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Dealing with Pain-Induced Anger

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Posted 1/11/2013 2:44 AM (GMT 0)

Back Story:

I've technically had Fibro since I was 6 (I'm 21 now), but I just got diagnosed last April. I was started on 30mg of Cymbalta and it worked GREAT. Then I got a job. The heavy lifting put stress on my body so the 30mg didn't work anymore. I got upped to 60mg. After one month on the 60mg, I started having manic fits (I'm slightly manic depressive, but not medicated for it). Really bad ones. Lots of violence and anger and snapping. And to make it worse, my pain started breaking through the Cymbalta. So, a few weeks ago, we started weaning me off the Cymbalta.

 

I'm now completely off Cymbalta. But the problem with that is I am now in more pain than I've ever remembered. I can barely breathe because the muscles around my rib cage are in too much pain to open. The arches in my feet keep spasming. Every little thing gives me a headache. And I'm so, so angry. At everything. I'm about ready to quit my friggen job, and nothing is helping. Showers, naps, walks, chocolate, homemade veggies and rice, ice cream, nothing. I can't get rid of the pain and I can't stop yelling and punching things, and threatening people.  And the absolute worst part of it all is no one can see how much pain I'm in, so everyone just thinks I'm being a *****. That's what of the hardest things for me to cope with. The fact that no one can SEE anything. I just don't know what to do with myself.

 

So what I'm asking is: Does anyone here have any home remedies that either lessen the pain or at least calm down the anger? Before there's a "Go see your doctor" rant, my appointment with my rheumie for the new medication is on Monday. We're thinking of putting me on Tramadol, hence no overlapping of Cymbalta. I just need some tips for survival until then.

 

~ I edited your post to comply with forum rules ~ thanks for understanding.

Debbie 

Post Edited By Moderator (Acheybody) : 1/10/2013 10:18:20 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/11/2013 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
Relaxation techniques. Breathing. Take a moment. Meditation.

Gentle Exercise. Proper sleep. Eat well. Heat. Hot water.

I had a similar reaction to Cymbalta. Been off it for a year now, but am currently being treated for depression. Finally starting feel normal.

The anger was completely debilitating and unreasonable. And the pain was not really abated. I recognized it but my rheumie said to continue for a while. I finally weaned myself off.

I currently take effexor and see a therapist. Honestly, think the effexor is most helpful, though it is good to talk to someone.
Posted 1/11/2013 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
I hate therapists. I had some bad experiences as a depressed child. I wasn't angry before the Cymbalta and I was't angry for like 3 days when the does was low enough to not trigger the manic depression and the pain wasn't that bad. As long as my pain is managed I'm not angry or depressed or even manic enough to effect my life. Right now every time I sneeze I cry out a little from the all over pain. I can't scratch an itch without thinking first because if I press too hard by accident I end up aching and pulsing for several minutes. I'm just not functional at the moment. :(
Posted 1/11/2013 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
It's hard to control your anger when you're in pain. I've had times where I was in so much pain I wanted to cause someone else as much pain as I felt. What I do is get away from the person or object that is frustrating me. Find a quiet place to zone out or cry or scream and let it rip. Then I put on some relaxing music or fun music and just breath.
I had a SIL who would go for long walks to control her anger. But if you're hurting too much to walk you might just want to go outside and throw snowballs at the tree or side of the house (watch out for the windows).
My niece used to rip up old books when she was mad.
Posted 1/11/2013 5:12 AM (GMT 0)
Buffalo Valentine,

I can relate to pain so severe it completely changes your personality. If you've been checked out as far as xrays, MRIs, and have no issues, maybe a chiropractor could help you.

That's the first thing that helped me, back when I was young and in misery. Now I wouldn't go because of spine issues, but about 20 years ago (I was 37) the chiro told me that I had some joints that should be moving in 4 directions, and were locked down tight. I went 3X a week at first, then less often.

I'm not saying it's the answer, but sometimes, it can be a useful tool. I felt like it started me on the road to getting some of my life back.

Tramadol works well for me...even gives me a little energy. Right now I'm on Norco, which is stronger, but I'm weaning off of it slowly.

Good luck!

Debbie
Posted 1/11/2013 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
I can relate, I've been having anger issues for awhile now.

What I ultimately want to do is take martial art classes or self defense to get the aggression out in a productive way instead of blowing up.

Right now I just walk away, breathe through it, and sometimes count to 10.
Posted 1/11/2013 11:40 AM (GMT 0)
Getting enough exercise, doing stretches, not having sugar or caffiene (especially soda), try to eat healthy, take good supplements, get outdoors and walk, get enough sleep, and try to lose weight if need be. All these things can contribute to anger and depression and pain.

Also wearing good, supportive shoes as often as possible, telling yourself each day 10 wonderful things about yourself, thanking God or the universe for what you have and what you are, and seeing a therapist if need be.

Good luck to you.

Posted 1/11/2013 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Buffalo Valentine, and welcome! Being young and dealing with chronic pain sure can make you angry. I have had health problems all of my life and was angry for awhile....the "why me" syndrome. But then I knew how miserable I was making myself and it didn't help my anger at all, so I started searching for what I could do to help myself. I think you are at that stage right now so that great!

Start out by reading Fibro 101...the first thread on the forum. There are good links about fibro and you will learn a lot there. We do have to be our own advocates with this illness. Good starting links for you would be the ones called Symptoms and A Thorough Explanation of Fibromyalgia. You just might see yourself there.

Next, in Fibro 101 is a link about something called costochondritis. I have that and it sounds like you do, too. When reading that link see if it fits how you are feeling. What is costochondritis? It can cause all that chest pain and rib pain and quite a few fibromites have this problem. I do and when it's bad, it hurts to take a breath! It affects the chest and rib muscles and can wrap around your back. It sometime, for me at least, feels like you are being squeezed hard. My doctor has me taking ibuprofen with food for this and it really does help me. So you might want to talk to your doctor about this.

I do not take the usual drugs for fibro....Cymbalta, Lyrica, and Savella. I use ibuprofen with food, extra strength Tylenol, malic acid/magnesium supplements, vitamin D3 supplements, and a prescription muscle relaxer called Robaxin that has helped me significantly. I also walk daily as a gentle form of exercise, I do gentle stretching exercises, and I pace myself when doing things. All of this combined help me be in control of my pain. Other members do other things because what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another so you need to try things to see what works best for you. But it is important to keep moving with fibro or you will be stiff as a board and have more pain.

Something that has helped me nearly as much as the things I take is having a positive outlook. Right now you are focusing on all the bad things going on but yet there are plenty of good things in your life, too! Try to look at them and not so much the pain. When I do this, the pain fades in the background. I love to do genealogy and I can work on it for hours without thinking about discomfort! Try making a list of the negative things in your life and a list of the positive things in your life...simple things like food on the table a roof over your head, the beauty that's all around you, and even that job you want to quit! (The lifting must be hard though so you might want to look for something that's a little easier on your body.) Some people would give their eye teeth for any job so you really are blessed! I just bet the positive list is far longer than the negative list.

You will find links in Fibro 101 about maintaining a positive attitude, the gentle stretching exercises, and the supplements that I mentioned and how those work in the body. So, do read it. I think it will help you.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you. Hope to hear more from you soon.

Sherrine
Posted 1/11/2013 5:54 PM (GMT 0)

Mmkays.

1: I'm sorry you had to edit my post. I read the rules, so I don't exactly know what had to be edited. And I can't even find what was changed. But I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. cry

2: Chiropractors: I had a chiropractor a while back before I was diagnosed with fibro. I was told I was more flexible than average, yet incredibly stiff. It might just be because my chiropractor didn't know much about fibromyalgia, but by the time I got back to my car after each visit, it felt like I hadn't even been seen. Also, he had this fixation with my calves. The last three visits I had, he worked my calves and went on rants about how screwed up they are. If I wasn't strong like buffalo, I'd've been screaming the whole time. No one is allowed to touch my calves now. I don't even touch them.

3: OTC medications: I'm allergic to naproxen, so my doctors tell me to avoid ibuprophen. The only ibuprophen I take is Advil Cold&Sinus for headaches. Also, I don't want to take massive amounts of Tylenol because I'm afraid of the liver damage. Prety much, if two of my max-strength fast-release pills don't work, I won't take any more. The prescriptions are risky enough, let alone playing with tylenol.

4: Therapy: I think I should elaborate on my feelings. I'm not depressed at all. I mean, I'm sad that I can't function at the moment, but I completely understand that my life is awesome. I'm at a point where if I had a big fluffy dog, my life would be perfect. Pain and all. I can't have a dog because I live with my parents and we have 5 cats and 2 ferrets and my mom refuses to have any more pets. But my cats don't cuddle like a dog. Or show affection like one. And the ferrets won't sit still. If I had a huge dog to take care of and bond with, I think I'd be a lot calmer. But other than that, everything is peachy keen. What's happening is I keep snapping. Someone calls my name, I quickly YELL "what!?" in the angriest of tones. Then all of a sudden I'm calm again. Also, if I'm trying to get something simple done (pulling something out of the freezer, getting out a pot with a lid) and it doesn't want to agree with me (at my house, we have three freezers, all packed to the brim, so you grab one thing and 6 more fall out on you and when you try to put them back they won't sit still. You have to be a ninja to get into the freezer. Also, we have tons of pots and pans, but only a few lids. So finding a matching pair is a ridiculous adventure in a cabinet stuffed to the brim and about to fall all over your feet.) I just freak out. Slamming and punching and occasonal ninja moves. It's not like I can leave the freezer open with stuff all over the floor and just walk away to breathe. sad

5: Costochondritis: I'm a little confused about this. I clicked the link and read the page. It is describing the pain as heart-like and on the left side of the breastbone. I don't have that kind of pain, but I do have the very tight hug pain. My rib cage doesn't want to open like it should. It hurts to breathe too deep. Which often causes me to cough. The most pain is on the sides of my ribs, nowhere near my breastbone. But it does stretch around to my spine, though it might be more radiating than spreading. It's hard to tell.

6: Stretches: I try to do stretches, often times in a hot shower (the ones that are safe in the shower) but they only help me for ab out ten minutes. After two or three minutes, the pain starts leaking back in, then after ten it's as if I never streched or took a shower or anything.

7: Another Question:  I've noticed that I have a pain cap-off. Is that normal? If I have a particularly bad headache, I won't be able to feel the rest of my body. To the point where if someone touches me, I won't notice until I look at them. I'm capable of walking, but pretty much numb, because my head is killing me. Or if my hip is screaming, then I won't feel the rest of my body. Just the hip. Right now, my whole body is aching, but there is presure in my head, so I think there's a headache there, but I can't feel the pain. Just some pressure.

Posted 1/11/2013 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
It is a strange sensation, Buffalo, this numbness. I have had overall body numbness for years. I'm seeing my new GP on Monday and I'll ask more about this. I know he wants to see about testing getting done. I'll let you know how it goes.

Yes, when an area of my body becomes very painful it becomes overwhelming.
Posted 1/11/2013 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Pain does have the ability at times to make me feel emotionally and physically weak...it can be so draining that I lose my inner peace and self pity can creep in.

The days when pain is unusually high it is a struggle to stay strong. Those are the days that I need to mentally push myself to get out of bed and start pysching myself up. Taking care of myself when it is difficult is being proactive. Being proactive means making time to take a walk even when I don't feel like it. I've learned it does take work to feel better, even when it feels inconvenient. Doing what I can to relax helps with the stress...less stress= less pain. Breathing exercise, meditation and visualization have become part of my daily routine along with gentle stretching and walking. One day at a time is all I can do.

Wishing better days ahead for you :)

Hugs, Robin
Posted 1/11/2013 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again, Buffalo Valentine.

I'm sorry if I made you worry - it's just that we have kids as young as 13 on these forums, and that's why even things we might say in a joking manner have to be screened so carefully. I figured you didn't really mean it!

I do understand that bad pain - and the loss of being able to do what we want - causes major frustration and is enough to trigger some pretty angry impulses. I get them too (but I don't act on them anymore, because hitting or kicking absolutely anything, even a pillow, makes my pain worse.) I had to laugh at your description of freaking out, trying to get something out of the freezer. Objects have the power to drive me batty on a daily basis! :)

I would echo what everyone else is saying: breathing, eating right, sleeping enough, staying active (up to a point,) meditation, mindfulness....all this commonsense really does help. Of course, knowing this and doing it are 2 different things....

Sherrine mentioned the idea of changing jobs, if you possibly can. I know that lifting is hands-down the surest way for me to amp up the pain in my whole body. Are you in pretty good shape, I mean strength-wise? If you started lifting at work cold turkey, that could explain a lot.

I hope your weekend is relatively stress-free and your doctor visit on Monday gives you some answers. Do you have good communication with your doctor? That makes SUCH a difference.

One more thing, you said you were told by a chiro that you are more flexible than average. One of my daughters is like that, too. When she was little it seemed like nothing but a plus, but now (she's 23) it's caused her to be easily injured sometimes. Kinda worries me. Have you always been this way - or do you even agree that you are?

Debbie
Posted 1/11/2013 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
I see what I did now. I'll try to avoid that!

I've always been strong. I'm a f/m chimera, so I am primarily muscle. Used to play soccer until I got depressed (I had depression from 12-16). But I went from occasionally lifting to lifting all day every day. I'm currently in the process of looking for another position in the same field but with no lifting. I love being in direct sales and customer service, but rainbow cleaning systems are friggen heavy. >.<

I know I am very flexible. I can bend over and put my palms flat on the ground. Hurts like crazy to do it, but the range of motion is there. In fact, I often times use that to gauge how bad I'm actually doing. On a perfect day, palms are flat on the ground, first shot. On my worst days, I can't get much past my knees. :/ Because of being so flexible, when I slipped on some ice a few years back, my hip just opened up and stretched the tendons holding it together and now I have a bad hip and I use a cane for long distance walks and for stairs. It likes to pop out while I'm walking but I'm able to smack it back in.
Posted 1/11/2013 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
I've heard of that! I think it's called hypomobility? I've heard it can cause joint issues. Can you bend your thumb back against your wrist?
Posted 1/11/2013 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
Not my thumbs. But my hips and back are ridiculous when I'm not stiff as a board.
Posted 1/13/2013 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
I'm a newbie, so we have not discussed this. I know I was on Cymbalta. Not sure if that counts. But the problem with antidepressants of any kind is I'm manic depressive. When left alone, I'm fine. I was put on Lexapro at one point and it made me depressed and angry so I was taken off of that. Then much later on I was put on Cymbalta, which helped until I needed it upped to 60mg. Then it made me angry and lost. So now we're taking a step away from head meds. Any thoughts on any of this? Are tricyclic antidepressants different than anything I've been on already?
Posted 1/14/2013 10:57 PM (GMT 0)
When you are in pain and nobody seems to understand, and even those who genuinely TRY to understand but you know they can't really understand, that is very frustrating and anger inducing.

Maybe you could try writing a letter or a blog so family and friends can better understand what you are going through. They may not read it, but the writing is therapeutic and really helps track symptoms.
Posted 1/14/2013 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
A condition of hypermobility you can read about is Ehlers-Danlos
Syndrome. I know a couple people who have it.
Posted 1/15/2013 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
i use facebook. i go on massive rants when i'm in pain.
Posted 1/16/2013 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
hello. i was just diagnosed with fibrmyalgia and diabetic neuropathy (spelling). currently taking 300mg of lyrica twice a day, 60mg of cymbalta once a day, and a 20mg butrans (morphine)patch that i change very 7 days. I also get no relief. lucky i have no side effects from everything i take. can not get any sleep at night.
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