New Relationship with someone who has fybromyalgia

I'm in a fairly new relationship with my boyfriend who has fybromyalgia. He wanted me to read up on the topic so I can understand more of what he goes through. Any advice would be helpful in ways I can be supportive and able to help him. He's having a bad flare up today and keeps saying he's sorry he's such a mess. I told him I wasn't going anywhere and there was no need to apologize. I'm just kind of at a loss as to what things I should say during the times he is feeling so bad.

Thank you for the response. It helps to have a forum like this for advice. I really appreciate it.

Thanks so much for the tip of reading fibro 101. It helped a lot. I have my own health issues but nothing like what he goes through. I've told him that's we have each other to be the support we both need. I sure am glad found this site. It's been really helpful.

As a guy with some pretty major pain and fatigue issues -- the single best thing my SO ever did for me was answer the question "What is it important that I go to, and what can I miss without you feeling resent about it?" and hopefully she answered that truthfully.

Things like Christmas where we are loaded down with activities, church things, multiple family parties, and yadda -- its flat out too much for me to do all of it and to keep up with the regular activities of life. I know it, she knows it, and she finally accepts that truth. The difference is if I know X is important to her, I can save energy or borrow it to force myself through X. I may have a lousy time, or chew through a lot of pain meds to do it, but she isn't bitter about it later on that I didn't do Y & Z. There are times when X still doesn't happen, and its just completely beyond my control, but I expend a great deal of energy to avoid that if at all possible. The other thing is to try to wipe the slate clean in the morning. That is easier said than done, but there is no point hanging on to grudges.

This stuff waxes and wanes seemingly without reason. The one constant that I know always makes it worse is stress. The better you two communicate about what you need (even if you can't agree) the lower the stress level, the happier you will both be as it helps to keep the flares down.

I think the best thing you can do is support your b/f in whatever he needs to do to feel better. For example taking a walk out in the sunshine to release those feel good endorphines and to exercise those tight muscles.

A nice massage helps.

Perhaps you could do some stretches with him.

How about encouraging him to eat healthy. There are inflammatory foods for people who are sensitive like myself.

Taking natural supplements helps me.

Getting a good night's sleep and keeping the hours of bedtime pretty consistent.

I live in a bubble, I know that, but that's how I prevent myself from experiencing a flare.

My fiance understands, he doesn't mind, as long as I support and encourage him to do things outside of my bubble that I can not do.

Make sure you read about the spoon theory in Fibro101 that was mentioned above.