OT-Feeling down & needing to vent

I'm sorry, Joy. I'm a former teacher, too, and I had to give it up several years ago, including subbing. I also found that even teaching Sunday school was too big a commitment for me (I have additional health issues).

I cleaned out my "craft closet" last year and got rid of all of the things I was saving to to crafts with kids. It was a little sad for me, but also a little freeing. It was like having that stuff around was a constant reminder of what I could no longer do. Once I gave it away, I actually felt some relief. I closed that chapter and gave myself permission not to be that person anymore. Now, I'm working on figuring out how I can still be involved, with or without kids.

Only you know if it is too soon or not, but please try to be gentle with yourself and grieve if you need to. It is a big change, and adjusting to it may take some time. Just remember, though, teaching was just a part of you, not who you are. That chapter may be closed, but there is a lot more book left to be written.

Joy, I'm sorry you are going through this.

It is an emotional struggle when we first are diagnosed. I think we all have grief and mourn the death of our good health. If we have to give up things we loved to do, it is if some of our identity is being ripped away...and it takes time to mourn these losses too. Going through the stages of grief takes time. Acceptance of situations is a process. You may not be ready yet to give your school stuff away.

Sending gentle hugs,

Robin

It took me quite a few years to get rid of my stuff from my floral business. But yes, once you do it, it is kind of a relief. But like I say, it took a few years. I kept hanging on to hopes of maybe doing it again. It is hard when we leave something we did for a long time. As was posted above, be gentle with yourself. Do it when you are ready...

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...

Joy, is there a reason you have to get rid of everything? Don't you have an attic where you could store things? That's what I did. I had about 300 paperback children books that I had accumulated from the Weekly Reader book sales and these were in the classroom for my kids. I just couldn't part with them so I didn't. I had them in the attic for years and started selling some back in 1997 when I was going to move to Florida. I left teaching in 1976 to raise my children. So they sat for 21 years. Some came to Florida with me and I still have a few of my favorite ones and gave the rest to charity just last year. I still have all my grade books and the pictures of the children in each of the classes I taught, too. I'll never part with those.

Teachers pour their hearts out to their classroom children. It's almost like they are their own children...at least that's how it was for me. I taught fourth grade by the way. I think you said you taught first grade but am not positive. Anyway, that's a huge chunk of your life you are trying to toss. I don't think you have a hoarding problem. You life so far and many memories are tied up in those "artifacts". Plus, it was an illness that forced you to leave the classroom. No, that's not fair at all.

I do think you are going through a grieving process and just the thought of getting rid of such an important part of your life is overwhelming. You are not ready for this. I'm sure there are some things you have no problem getting rid of so get those things so get those out of your life and keep the rest until you ARE ready. It will come in dribs and drabs if you are anything like me. Right now, your wounds are fresh. You really want to be back in that classroom. So give yourself time. Come up with ideas as to how to store these things. Maybe you can neatly stack boxes in one corner of your bedroom, get a pretty bedspread to drape over the top and then put a lamp and silk plants on top. Yeah, I know I'm crazy but it could work until you are ready to part with more things. These things are all important memories for you at this time.

I'm really sorry you are dealing with this and everything else. Be easier on yourself. Everything doesn't have to be done yesterday. Just take one day at a time and allow yourself to digest all that's on your plate right now.

Sherrine

Joy we were writing our posts at the same time. I hope you check out my thoughts. I know how difficult it is to part with a huge part of your life.

Sherrine

It's okay to be not ready. Really, it is.

I am wondering what to do with all my books. Pack them, and schlepp them home, I guess. Put them in a storage unit or the attic until I can bear to give them away.

Cover the boxes with a nice piece of fabric. Hang pictures on them. Maybe create a collage of happy or beautiful images.

That's good, Joy, I'm glad you decided not to force yourself too soon. There's no point in ripping yourself up over this. You still miss teaching too much.

My parents died within a few months of eachother. While the dust was still falling, I associated their clothes with how they were at the end...I had been with them every day and had such intense memories. I couldn't be free of them fast enough. Besides, there was so much other stuff - endless books, furniture, photos, nicnacs.

Now I wish I'd kept more clothes. What was so painful back then would now, I realize, help conjure up their essence...I have a broader perspective now. I do have most of my mom's jewelry, but somehow it's not the same. At least, I had the foresight to keep a shirt and a hat from each of them, and one of my mom's skirts.

So I agree with everyone else. Give it time. As an old friend of my mom's used to say, "It'll shine when it shines!"

Hugs, Debbie

AV, I can't go back to public school teaching again. Between the Lupus and fibro I've got too many restrictions that they won't agree with to rehire me. I don't have the money to do my own mini-school or energy for tutoring.
I haven't been able to have a good enough day to handle a full time job and can't survive a on part-time work.