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Son not being very supportive at this crucial time

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Posted 5/31/2013 12:58 AM (GMT 0)
Well as I go on with my painful journey that has now lasted almost 6 months, I have been to several doctors and gotten a colonoscopy which showed I had diverticulitis but I have now gotten it under control
I also have had a mammogram which was negative and a complete series of chest and rib xrays that came back negative. I am still having symptoms of costochondritis as some tenderness in sternum and shooting
pains in ribs both sides under breasts. I have been taking a small 0.5 xanax which helps to calm the
shooting pains but today was totally different. Woke up having pain in rib cage on right side which
was under control until I went to Doctor and he said I had costochondritis and put me on 800 mil of
ibuprofen. I went to my mothers to wash her large windows and had stabbing rib cage pain even after I
had taken one of the 800 ibuprofen. How long does the inflammatory med take to kick in to start relieving the stabbing pains or will I have to continue to take a xanax for that to stop. Could I have flared up the
costo by washing and stretching to do her large windows? Has anyone else had little success with
NSAIDS and more help with hydrocodone which is what I have been taking in past but it is not an
antiinflammatory. Now I am afraid I don't have costo and at this point I have no idea what it could be. aI
Have had blood work twice, rib xrays and mammogram and nothing is showing. Son was so crass tonight
to tell me that it is all in my head. He has been very understanding before, I wish he could just have one day of what I have went through in the last 6 months. What I wanted to know is if it is safe to take a 0.5 xanax several times a day along with 3 800 mil. of ibuprofen. I still have one more doctor to go to and that will be June 5th and he is an internist. Hear that he likes to do testing. Maybe something else will show up as I feel like such a failure at this time and don't know where to turn.
Posted 5/31/2013 1:31 AM (GMT 0)
If your doctor felt you needed 800 mg of ibuprophen for the inflammation of costo, you definitely shouldn't have been stretching and washing windows! The ibuprofen was to help settle the inflammation down but yet you were causing more irritation by doing a job like that. When I don't have a fibro flare, I wouldn't do that much and I would pace myself too. Your body is screaming at you. You need to take it easy and let the medication work. Then slowly work back into things.

Ibuprofen doesn't really help for fibro pain because fibro isn't an inflammatory illness. I use it because I have other inflammatory illnesses on top of fibro.

Perhaps your son thought this because you were saying you were having a lot of pain but yet went ahead and did the work of a healthy man. I'd be confused, too, if I didn't understand this illness. It's really difficult for people to understand what we are going through. I know I wouldn't have understood before I experienced fibro first hand. But yet, it was hurtful to you for him to say such a thing and I do hope you talked to him about that and let him know.

Sherrine
Posted 5/31/2013 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, it hurt me terribly for him to say this to me. He said just because there are so many other people your age and younger dying everyday, you have got this in your head that you are going to die also. What he really doesn't understand is the stress I went through for a year when his dad was dying with
lung cancer. It literally ripped my heart out and I guess a lot of my pain could be excaberated to this day from the extreme stress of watching him slowly die and fight for his life. In fact the doctor said that
the last two weeks I had him home in hospice I did a lot of tugging and pulling and was inexperienced as
a caregiver and was doing all the lifting and watching him at night without much rest and that is whathe thinks flared up my!! costo. At any rate I will be accompanying my son and his wife and child to the
beach in a few weeks where we will be staying in a cottage with a large hot tub on the deck where I intend to spend a lot of my evening hours!
Posted 5/31/2013 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
I think the main problem is that we often don't look sick (don't you just hate when someone says "but you look fine" or "but you don't look sick"?!?). And on top of that fibromyalgia is poorly understood and it is difficult to prove objectively that it even exists. It's pretty much just our subjective reports of our symptoms. So it's very easy for people to think we might be making it up, exaggerating it, or that it's a mental illness. If someone tells me fibromyalgia is "all in my head" I tell them that even if that were the case the brain is in the head and brain problems are very real and not something you can just willfully choose not to have. However the cause of fibromyalgia in reality is unknown, unknown is NOT the same as non-existant or solely psychological.

I often wish I had an illness that other people could understand. Like broken legs for example: If my legs were broken no one would doubt me when I said they hurt, or expect me to walk around like they are able to.

So, I guess I try to understand where people are coming from when they don't understand what I'm going through and not blame them or get angry at them. Like I have a friend who has never been sick before except for a cold once that was not even bad enough to stay home from work, always has a great sleep, always feels energetic and happy. How can I expect someone who has no experience at all with anything resembling how I feel to understand? I can't. It's not their fault. But at the same time people should at least TRY to understand and be considerate about it. Maybe we can try to educate them and explain it to them in a way that is helpful as opposed to just getting hurt, angry and defensive? It's hard.
Posted 5/31/2013 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. That was unbearable stress you were under. I lost my husband too but it was suddenly but he also was young...51 years old. I was a mess, too, when that happened.

One thing you do realize, I hope, is that fibro is NOT a terminal illness. So that's one less concern. We can live a full and enjoyable life in spite of this illness. I've had fibro for over 26 years and have had some mighty wonderful times and have done so many things I assumed I couldn't do. I found out I could to things because I tried. BUT, please pace yourself from here on out and if you are in a lot of pain, do not overdo. You could end up in a really bad flare.

I hope you have a wonderful time on your vacation. I think that just foots the bill.

Sherrine
Posted 5/31/2013 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry to hear what you have been through, you're one tough person. Sometime people don't really mean what they say in the heat of a moment.

I am sure it hurts to hear that from your own son, perhaps he's going through something himself?

Be open about your feelings on what he said when things cool downs a bit. open communication always helps heal emotional wounds, and make family bond stronger.
Posted 5/31/2013 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
NSAIDS are not suitable to treat fibro pain because it's not caused by inflammation, there are studies that suggests that NSAIDS can actually make fibro flare worse. Paracetamol/tylenol would be a better pain reliever if you need something off the shelf. Tylenol is not a NSAIDS, it's an analgesic and also not so harmful to your stomach.
Posted 5/31/2013 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
I thought trama fibro was taking the NSAIDs for the costochondritis, which IS an inflammatory condition and something that quite a few fibro sufferers seem to get. But now she is wondering since the NSAIDs didn't appear to help could that perhaps mean it's not actually costochondritis.

I would be interested if you have links to any studies that found that NSAIDS could worsen fibro flares, Fibro$ufferer.
Posted 5/31/2013 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
This like doesn't specifically target fibro flares, but it talks about NSAIDS on Anti depressant which many of us take as part of fibro treatment (eg. Cymbalta and lesser extent Savella).

It's a paid research paper, I've put it on a public share site. http://www.4shared.com/office/TvrfGo8X/101007-s100670050114.html I think it automatically flushes after 30 days.
Posted 6/1/2013 7:17 AM (GMT 0)
Tramafibro- I am sorry for your loss of your husband. Maybe you can offer your son some reading material and talk direct with him. Let him know you need his support. Sometimes it just takes a heart to heart talk. I am not sure of his age, but I know if he is young adult it is all about them.

You were asking about taking the ibprophen and Xanax together. The only problem I would be concerned is just be careful with the Xanax. Taking 3 times a day for long period can cause dependency. I remember that I would take something similiar and before you knew it I became very dependent on them. I had a pain or a rough day and anxiety I would take them. I finally got off them and went to natural methods of controlling things. Taking ibprophen will help your inflammation. Heat really does help too. Try those thermal wraps for back pain. They are good and long to wrap around your rib cage. Consider it portable heat. Lol

I would let your son wash the windows. My Dr's would get frustrated with me at times becaused I caused my misery sometimes. I would do things that I really had no business doing. So finally after some hard head teaching I received I figured it out. I have learned to ask for help now. Maybe you are like me? It takes time to learn your limitations, especially since your new to this. The best advice I learned here is do things in moderation.
Posted 6/2/2013 1:13 AM (GMT 0)

Fibro$ufferer said...
This like doesn't specifically target fibro flares, but it talks about NSAIDS on Anti depressant which many of us take as part of fibro treatment (eg. Cymbalta and lesser extent Savella).

It's a paid research paper, I've put it on a public share site. http://www.4shared.com/office/TvrfGo8X/101007-s100670050114.html I think it automatically flushes after 30 days.

Thanks Fibro$ufferer. I don't understand how that case report in any way supports your statement that "there are studies that suggest that NSAIDS can actually make fibro flares worse"? If I understand correctly, it was 5 people, who didn't have fibromyalgia, the side effect was psychosis, they weren't even certain if it was the NSAIDs causing the side effect or if it was a drug interaction, or merely a coincidence. Other studies I've seen found NSAIDs to actually be a potential treatment for depression and other mental health problems.

NSAIDs do more than just relieve inflammation, just because they are called "anti-inflammatories" doesn't mean they do nothing for pain that is not due to inflammation - they are also general analgesics (pain killers). Many people do seem to find them to help with fibromyalgia pain, even if not to a huge degree and of course they don't help for everyone (like every med out there). I don't think it's right that people are saying NSAIDs do nothing for fibro because fibro isn't due to inflammation and discouraging people from taking them. I think it's more just that fibro is such a painful and difficult condition and it's very hard to find any drugs which help substantially with it.

There are not many studies on NSAIDs for fibro (since there's not much profit in studying that) but the ones I have seen said that the NSAID they were studying only helped a tiny bit - they did not make it worse. However if there is any study that did find that NSAIDs worsen fibro I would definitely be interested to know.
Posted 6/2/2013 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hot tub really helped last time I traveled.. glad u will have access to one.

I too wish there were visible reminders like braces so others are reminded that we have a ' new normal ' daily life & expect our family & friend's respect - not pity . Right now, after about 20 min of light spring cleaning today, I am in so much pain that I am doubting I will be able to sleep tonite.

Eight years now & they still do not 'get it'..... I come here to find the support I don't get in person.
Posted 6/2/2013 5:41 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry for your loss, Trauma....and also about your son's not understanding.

My son is like that, too. He's 30, and has seen me afflicted with Fibro, and/or other disabling conditions like Migraines, his whole life. I know he loves me, but he's extremely opinionated, and once he makes up his mind about something, it's very hard to convince him otherwise...he always knows best. My 2 daughters aren't this way - my husband isn't, either - and I'm very grateful for that.

In my son's mind, Fibro is something doctors label women with, women who have taken it too easy, not been active enough, or just blow their little problems out of proportion - (in other words, exactly what we've all heard from ignorant doctors - doctors we didn't stay with.) That my own son, who knows me, should think this about me used to really hurt! I can't say it doesn't still, a bit....but we don't discuss it much anymore. I've come to realize it's not personal....and when he has something go wrong with his body, which unfortunately is inevitable, he'll gain a greater understanding :( I feel bad for him, actually - he's very smart, but it hasn't given him an easy life.

You're NOT a failure! You have been trying to do too much, it sounds like - live up to others' expectations of what you should be able to do...and probably, what you want to do, too. I know, sometimes I just glare at something that needs to be done in the house, and wish like the dickens that I could do something about it. It's so frustrating.

Have fun at the beach! Say hi to the ocean for me :)

Debbie
Posted 6/3/2013 2:20 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, I think I demand way too much from my poor body and expect to be able to do everything and also take care of my elderly Mother also. She just expects so much from me because I have always did for her and I am an only child. I will be going again tomorrow to do more spring house cleaning for her. I actually did get to mow my grass this afternoon but will pay for it tomorrow. Better fortify myself with extra pain medication because I sure will need it. I can't seem to realize that I am 66 years old and need to start slowing down. The one symptom of fibro that I never got was the chronic fatigue THANK GOD. But my son was out in his yard yesterday and overdid himself in the heat and also had a couple of cold brew and got sick as a dog. Today I told him it was all in his head!!!!!!!
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