Has fibro changed your self image?

Has fibro changed your self image?

Fibro has had an influence on my ability to function because of pain and fatigue but it hasn't changed who I am as a person. I consider myself to still be outgoing and active... enjoying hanging out with friends and enjoying social activities. Sometimes I may need help with things but I still consider myself to be independent. I don't think my personality has changed any with the exception of maybe being more positive...only because I think our conditions warrant a positive attitude to get by.

Has fibro changed your self image?

Hugs, Robin

Fibro never affected my self-image.  I managed to keep up by pacing myself.  Of course things weren't done as fast as I would have liked it but they did get done.

 

Now, I'm moving a little slower but that's not unusual for people as they age.  I'm still very active but my goals are a little less than when I was younger.  I still do my own cleaning, mopping, gardening, and even crazy things like spreading mulch but I feel better for it.  I helps keep me flexible, too.

 

No, fibro does not and will not define who I am. 

 

Joy, I'm so glad you accepted the fact that you were sick and not a failure!  That's good news.  I know that was a very hard pill for you to swallow and seemed unfair but in the long run it was best for you.  I know I couldn't keep up with a class full of children now and the kids I taught were older than the ones you taught.  Just don't have the energy and I wouldn't be able to move by the time they went home for the day.  You are still a bright, vital woman and have a lot to offer others.  Always remember that. 

 

Sherrine

I have been thinking about this a while. And, yes, it has. Immensely. I wish it hadn't, but fibro has undermined my self-image. Professionally and personally.

Before, I was a trained and working actor in a PhD program.

The first time I tried to act post-diagnosis, it was very hard. I ran through all my energy in one fell swoop. Everything had to be reserved for the production. I zoned out more than once onstage in front of an audience. I tried again, a few years ago. It was not up to my standards.

Luckily, I had finished my coursework pre-diagnosis. I managed to cobble together my diss. I got on the job market, and due to my background got some decent chances. I also lost out on some chances due to botched phone interviews (I prepared for them, but the fog took over), and one pretty disastrous campus visit.

It became clear to me that I could succeed, but the job had to be PERFECT. The job I got wasn't. I tried for four years but had to move on.

The creative and smart person I was and am is trying to find a place in the working world. I have student loans and other bills. I feel that my potential can never be fulfilled, since the employer would have to be patient and let me get my feet under me, and the world moves too fast for that anymore.

As far as my own image goes, I need to let the past go and find a use for my talents in the now. Until I can mange that, and, I might add, manage to feel that I am not selling out, I will likely be unhappy.

Interesting question. I started to say yes, and then I realized my image of my SELF hasn't changed that much. What's changed more than anything is how I feel myself to be perceived by others.

I'm talking more about the physical aspects of Fibro.

Mentally, I've always been an airhead. Of course, now it's reached epic proportions....but I've always had a tendency to go off half-cocked in some direction even I don't understand  ...so in that way, it's been a difference in degree, not kind.

But physically, it's night and day. I was so independent! I always loved doing things with my body: going to the park and playing frisbee with the dogs, camping, working out, dancing, gardening, moving heavy stuff around the house, yada yada yada...but I can't remember the last time my body felt GOOD in some way...

And I was a fast-moving person; I remember my waitress days, how I enjoyed the pace during busy times. These days, the only time I'm moving fast is when I'm driving.

I have to ask for help with practically everything now. I often feel I'm being judged as lazy, fearful, "preoccupied with my health." And people puzzle me: I'll explain in a few words why I can't get my own milk down from the shelf, or whatever, and they'll say, "Oh that's ok, you're fine." I just want to scream, "No, I just told you I'm not - that's why I asked you!!  And I should hope it's ok!! I'm not apologizing, I'm explaining!!"

My family thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill - but it gets SOOO old.

Debbie

Awesome post Robin... We are super women...

It is actually devastating when we can't do the things we love. Luckily some of the stuff I enjoyed doing wasn't as physically demanding. I still have my crochetting, my painting and wood burning. But I lost a lot with the more physical things that I enjoyed. I don't like to think that fibromyalgia defines me, but in ways it is unescapable. I keep trudging on though, as we all do. One day at a time...

Hugs, Karen...

It may be difficult but we have to remember we are not our condition. We can still feel good about ourselves as human beings. We can still love, and be loved.

I do understand, I spent lots of time being angry and sad...and at times I still mourn the loss of the old me. Eventually there was an acceptance that I wouldn't be the same person I once was. Remember your worth doesn't depend on what or how much you can do. You are a caring, strong woman and you can be proud of that.

I stated this thread in hopes of people realizing that each of us is special and unique. I also realize that we all have different circumstances, but we can't forget to love ourselves unconditionally.

Wishing us all great days ahead.

hugs, Robin

Ah, so nice to hear there are others that go through the same thing I do, but also so very depressing, too.

Self Image = all time low

I am making mistakes at work on a constant basis and nothing I do is good enough. I am about to lose my job, even though I work 60+ hours a week to do my job well. It takes me twice as long as it should because of my brain fog and my chronic pain. Such a horrible cycle, working too much, stressing, missing work, working too much, crying, sleeping, blah, blah, blah.

Now on top of it when I talk to my husband about solutions and taking FMLA in order to get with a pain specialist and get "healthy" and pain free (severe chronic face pain, another story), he tells me my job is cushy and I should able to handle it. Our house is a wreck, but I simply do not have the energy to clean after working so many hours and flaring all the time.

What is one to do? Crying as I write this and feeling beyond desperate for my life situation right now. I have a beautiful 8-year old son who I want to be vibrant for, but I am a shell of my old self and hate it.

My self image is horrible. I can't think strait. I have no energy. I'm severely depressed. I know no reason my image should be anything other that bad. I 'm not the nurse I used to be, I'm afraid my patients might suffer. I'm on light duty right now due to shoulder surgery so I'm not doing patient care, but should be going back to it shortly. I'm a horrible wife - my house is a mess. I'm not the mom I should be - don't have the energy. Yea I pretty much suck.

Jasonmom:  What Robin said in her reply to you is so true, and great advice.  Please don't feel bad--so many things are beyond our control.

One thing that can help is to tackle each problem/issue one at a time, even taking baby steps.  Don't feel badly if things aren't perfect--this is an inperfect world!

As far as having a messy home, I can relate.    I've, little by little, gotten rid of several things, either donating to my church, second-hand stores, or a relative's garage sale.  It's really true that 'less is more.' 

One day I sat down and made a list of the things I wanted to get done weekly, as far as cleaning.  I wrote out each day (except Sunday) and listed things under each, such as 'wipe out microwave,' 'water the plants,' 'tidy the living room,' 'clean glass mirrors,' etc.  I'm sure not saying each thing gets done every time, but it really helps me to have a specific day to do certain jobs.  And....I always say that if anyone complains about my house, they can jolly well clean it!

Do your husband and children understand what fibro is about?  Maybe have them (if your children are old enough) read through the fibro 101 info here on the forum.  Also, do a search here on something like 'how do you explain fibromyalgia to others' or similar.  There's great advice.

We are all with you!  I'll keep you in my prayers.  Best wishes.