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Posted 8/31/2013 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
I have a 3 year old and he is the light of my life, but I feel like sometimes I can't be the mom I want to be anymore with this pain and fatigue. I was hoping other moms could share techniques. One thing that works great for us is going to the pool as a family. Unfortunately, he now spends more time at preschool and watching tv than before.

I added the fact that you're new to your title, so everyone can greet you properly!

Debbie

Post Edited By Moderator (Acheybody) : 8/30/2013 9:43:30 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/31/2013 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, Swimchica! I know you've posted on a few other threads, but welcome to the forum. I'm not sure if anyone's directed you to "Fibro 101," 1st thread on the list? There is so much good info in there, really helpful stuff (symptoms, what doctors think is going on with us, similar conditions, ways of coping, etc.) 

I know well the feeling you're talking about. It's very painful, emotionally, when you want to do everything with your child, but can't!  I raised 3 kids with Fibro...they're now 31, 28, and 24. I was fairly functional until my 3rd pregnancy, then I really went downhill. I couldn't pick up and carry my youngest once she was big enough to toddle around. It broke my heart! But she doesn't seem to have suffered any ill effects. She says she had a great childhood, which is awfully nice to hear :)

Being picky about the house wasn't even on my radar - they had a lot of space to make up their own games and fantasies. I gave them pretty free reign as far as making things out of whatever they could find. My son, in particular, was into making 3-dimensional objects...actually, the girls were too, just in a quieter way  smilewinkgrin Maybe because I don't have much artistic talent myself, I was honestly awed by what they made.

Reading together is easy on the body, and it's wonderful. I did that with my kids way past the point where I could tolerate their weight on my lap. They're all still readers.  Games, CDs, singing, talking, whatever you'e into....just being there and being tuned into them is the most important thing, even if you're "not doing anything." We went to the park fairly regularly.  I hated watching from the sidelines while other people swung their kids around by the arms, etc.  But they loved going, anyway.  Kids are amazingly adaptable.

They did watch more tv than I would have liked ideally, but we have to play the hand we're dealt, and sometimes we just have to have a break! 

I'm looking forward to hearing more about you - how long have you had Fibro?

Debbie

Posted 8/31/2013 9:06 AM (GMT 0)
I have 7 kiddos. I was diagnosed right after the last was born. My others were 2, 5, 8 and teenagers. I had a lot of help but still it was different after I developed FM then before. Cuddle time was important to us as well as me reading to them (we read the entire Little House series that first year). I blew bubbles outside while they ran around outside or we made little "collections" of stuff they brought me. Don't focus on what you can't do. Focus on all that you can do: which is A LOT!!!! Read, color, make paper air planes, if your laying down cover up your heads with a blanket and tell stories, race cars across a table till they fall off and let him go fetch them, (and my favorite) bath time fun.

The most important thing in child's life is a loving home where they feel truly wanted. It doesn't take much energy or even pain freel days for that. Smile when they walk into the room (even if it is from your bed). Just refocus on what's important: not on what everybody else is doing. Hope some of this helps.
Posted 8/31/2013 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you ladies, yes we do a lot of reading and cuddling too, and I am able to take him to the park and to parties and the pool, I would just like to be in less pain in order to enjoy it more myself, these are such special times. I hope to find something that works to make me a bit more reliably functional.
Posted 9/1/2013 7:12 AM (GMT 0)
i know how you feel, for a long time in the beginning I felt angry because it was stealing my time from my kids, however after a while I actually saw it was making me take notice of them more and actually i was spending more time with them, cuddling, watching movies, going to park etc...
It doesn't matter that you can only do the small things, its these that count and every once in a while you will have enough energy to do day trips (i do) and I make sure I rest well day after and then go again
If anything kids are a great distraction and keep you going

Try magnesium if not on already and make sure your vitamin d levels are checked as these are two things you can do to help yourself straightaway :o)
Posted 9/1/2013 8:17 AM (GMT 0)
My kids are now 7 and 9. We like to bake together. We make home made play doh, too. We do puzzles, play board games, dance and sing, play lots of pretend. My daughter likes to get my pots and pans and play restaraunt. We go to local parks, library, and our movie theater does a free movie week in the summer (its always movies that came out years ago but they enjoy going and seeing them on the big screen). Drawing is popular. Your child is young enough to make a game out of cleaning. My kids love to help clean because I started them young and made it fun.

I try to space activities out through the week. Say if we go to the park then we will do a simple picnic lunch. Then we will stay home the next with maybe a story time the next day. I try to not have any day be extremely full of activities. Don't set high expectations! That's such an easy thing to do and then you push your self too far and pay for it the next day.
Posted 9/3/2013 5:52 AM (GMT 0)
My two oldest were 1 1/2 and 4 when yhis dreadful thing hit me. I then had another babygirl. In 2004. I learned to push through most things but importantly to rest when they rested and thats not easy but essential. They are now 9, 15 and almost 19 and three of the brightest, intelligent ladiesnyoull meet! I must of done something right ya know? Its still not easy and I work hard to always be strong for them and try not to let fibro control my life with them.
Posted 9/3/2013 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Swimchica, and welcome!  I had three young children while sick.  I set up a child's table in the kitchen and had crayons, coloring books, construction paper, Play Dough, puzzles, etc.  I had things geared for their ages.  When I needed a down time, the kids would go to that table and find good, constructive things to do.  I didn't have them in front of the TV. 

 

We also had swings and my husband built a covered sand box and that gave them hours of enjoyment, too.  I just sat out with them to keep an eye on them. 

 

You've gotten quite a few good suggestions.  Your child/children will be fine.  You are home with them, spending time with them, and nothing could be more important.

 

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.  Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you.  Hope to hear more from you soon.

 

Sherrine

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