My randomness for the day.

On top of all the medical stuff going on with me, and the wonderful family stuff I have going on. I thought I would take a min to rant in the only way I can freely. With as little fear of judgment that I can think of at this time.

Just a short note of personal things going on. My oldest daughter is having huge problems dealing with being 18. Shes not a kid anymore, but not ready for the adult world. Add normal teen hormones and the "no body loves me", weighted classes at school and a part time job its starting to drag her down.
Then you have my wonderful sister, who has to many problems to count, split up with her 10 year live in bf. Well as a "I'm gonna show her" move, he took off with my niece and nephew. Yes the police are involved.

Then you have my health problems, ya know the ones that say "keep stress down to keep pain down. I am trying my best to keep my head high, and my world from crashing down. So I thought I would share some funny and good things that have happened in all this crazy.

I went to the rheumatologist on Monday. He is no longer a rheumatologist. He is now, as my teenage kids have put it, the room doctor. He is an interior decorator for the body. I do now have an official diagnosis. I have fibromyalgia AND plantar fasciitis in both feet, and possible bone spurs in the left. Because I dont have inc, he wants to try treating just for the PF. If that works then we wont have to do xrays and what not. So I have not one, but 2 problems that are just flat out pain. So pain+pain= just kill me now.

Because I am already on Zoloft(and the high prices), trying me on things like cymbalta were out of the question. So I get to try Naltrexone. Ok Mr. Room Dr you know best. While picking up the new meds, I ask the pharmacist all the right questions. Do I need to take this with/without food, drink, before bed. He tells me to take it at bedtime and be warned it could cause "wonky dreams". Ummm I already have wonky dreams. He tells me to get ready for act 2. He was not joking.

Now is the time I have to share 2 things so you fully understand what I am about to share. First is that my boyfriend is a 6'6 290lb beast of a man lol. He looks like a viking. Most people call him Thor. Second is.. If you watch "Once upon a time in wonderland" then you will know what the "forget me knot" I speak of is. If not, its a length of magic rope, in a circle tied in a knot, kinda looks like a lasso. You hold it up and look through it and are able to see what ever last happened in the spot you are looking at.

I did not think the Naltrexone dreams would start from jump. Night one I had a dream that my boyfriend was He-man. Mind you the dream was in the old school cartoon style. He had forgotten who he was. So we were using the forget me knot as a portal, holding it up and stepping through it, to remind him who he was. Up side, I woke up refreshed for the first time in years!
Night 2.. I cant even find the words to explain the dreams last night. I can only assume that someone put LSD in my water before bed. Lots of pretty colors and random flashes of chaos. Guess who did not wake up refreshed this morning.

Now that I have taken up so much of your time with my random rant, I will wish you all the best. I wish you little pain and the ability to find joy in the worst moments. To find piece were there is anger and love where there is fear. I hope your families and friends can bring you light in the darkest of hours.

Thank-you Robin,

Hot bath is out of the question. My bathroom only has a shower no tub. My hall bathroom has a tub, but its my kids bathroom. Do you have any idea how nasty a tub that 3 teenagers use is. One being a stinky 16 year old boy (my only male child, we pick on him for it. He has boy cooties..lol) then 18, 13 and 3 year old girls. Hair products, makeup, "girly products" everywhere. I try not to even go in there. I have the kids clean it to even give the little one a bath, or I give her a shower in mine. Any guest that come over I send to the master bathroom out of fear for their lives. *shiver*
I do have a foot spa that is nice. On an overly stress full day a rip roaring round of Black Ops 2 Zombies can relieve some stress. Nothing like pretending the zombies are my boss, or an employee that was giving me trouble. (I'm not a normal female) It also gives me time with my teenager that is hard to come by. They open up and talk while we are playing. That can help at times. Or putting a puzzle together with the baby. We have a few tv shows we watch weekly. We pretty much have a show per kid. Gives us special time for each. My kids are my world. When they are happy and smiling it reminds me why I fight so hard. Why I cant give into the pain. I have to move, have to get up, have to go to work.