This IS my life

I've been dealing with some serious health issues other than fibro (thank you again to all who have prayed for me. I have another test this morning and hope to schedule surgery soon. I had a setback due to a nasty case of bronchitis. So far, my tests are leaning toward a benign mass. I won't know definitively until after surgery, which again, hopefully, will be soon).

I keep telling myself different versions of, "I'll be glad when this is all over and I can get back to living my life." It's a refrain I've spoken many, many times in my life, usually due to one health crisis or another.

I read an obituary this morning, self written by a woman dying of cancer. In it she said, "And may you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that the sad, scary, painful parts of my life ARE my life. They are part of living. They are the lesson teachers, the yardsticks by which to measure the "happy" moments, the strength revealers, the hope instigators, and the parts that allow others to give to us.

I know many of us are going through some very painful stuff right now. I wish you strength, comfort, the ability to seize the small good moments daily and the ability to find peace in your suffering.

Hugs - Austen

Inspiring....
Good luck on the surgery.

Austen,

I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with the possible thought of cancer. All the feelings that are surfacing right now are understandable and very natural. I know this must be a very emotional time for you.

You are right...this is part of your life. These troubled times teach us more about living than anything else.

I'm hoping you do not have to wait much longer to find out what is going on. I found it is easier after you know what you are dealing with. Continuing to openly express your feelings does help too.

You are in my thoughts and prayers! Wishing for the best outcome!!!

Hugs, Robin

Austen: Those words really are profound. It seems so often we have to 'walk through the fire' before things start to make sense, though we surely would never pick that path on our own--I know I wouldn't.

I hope you find out soon what's going on, and do keep sharing with your friends here. My prayers and thoughts are with you, and I pray God keeps lighting your path. ((HUGS))

Wishing you the best!!

Thank you so much for all your kind words.

I just realized that I have done this with every illness or hardship, including fibro. I always feel like I am waiting for something to be over with before I can get on with my "real" life. I don't want to do that anymore. Whether it's this health issue or fibro or other health issues I have that flare up, I don't want to spend my life waiting for something to end so I can enjoy my life. I want to enjoy it NOW. In spite of the problems. And maybe BECAUSE of the problems. I think dealing with hard stuff gives us insights we otherwise wouldn't have.

I think, for me, I've wasted too much time wishing my life were easier instead of embracing the life I have been given.

Thank you for your inspiring words. I think acceptance is a big issue at least for me. I keep thinking I will wake up one day and be all better but the reality is this is my life so I need to get on with it. Life is short and we are dealt what we are dealt. Sending prayers for you and the surgery.

Wonderful wisdom. So hard to remember, but so true. Thank you.

I wish all the best for you, and I'm praying for you, too...I'm sure this attitude can only help you on the way. Hopefully, you will know very soon what's going on.

Debbie

Austen, Thank you for the inspiring post. I'm praying for you to have the best outcome.

Absolutely, Sherrine. I've spent a lot of time, effort and energy doing just that throughout my life, lol. And I'm a firm believer in if you can fix a problem, then by golly attack it with everything you have.

My problem is (or hopefully was ) that I didn't necessarily enjoy my life while I was trying to fix the problem. I was always waiting. Waiting to be happy (well, content is actually probably a better word) until the most present crisis passed or got fixed. And, I don't mean to downplay the need for a grieving period or an adaptation period. But because I have sooooo many different health issues, I just feel like I've spent too much time waiting to get better before I could appreciate all of the good stuff in my life.

I ain't gonna do it no more!

And, I'm sure you all are tired of hearing me rant, so I'm gonna stop.

Robin, you are one of the wisest people I know.

Some great words here.

I got over my depression (which lasted for a few years) when I accepted that I had fibro and lupus, and made the decision that I wouldn't let them control my life. I have a disease. I am not my disease.