Getting tired of family overreacting to MY fibrofog

I found out last week that my daughter and my husband have been wondering about my brain functions. They think I need another neurological test done (I had one in 2010, I believe, and it showed some mental deficits but no major ones). The problem is that my daughter also has fibro and she makes some of the same mistakes I make!

I think what they are concerned about, though, is when I try to make a joke or comment and they think I'm not being coherent, even though what I say makes sense to me...like having a dry sense of humor and others not getting it.

For example, she showed me the drawing game on her phone; some of you may be familiar with it. She plays with friends and also against a website or something where she can get extra points. Below the drawing are letters listed that are used to solve the problem. Well, she told me she can reply to friends after a game has been finished...like she can say, "That was a good picture, you did well drawing it, etc."

Then she shows me a picture that makes no sense and asks me what I think about it. We finally figured it out after looking up the letters at a site that helps you make words when you play Scrabble. After she was done, I made the remark that I would reply to that friend and tell him it wasn't a good representation and it was obvious he hadn't looked up what the picture was supposed to look like before he drew it. She looked at me like I was crazy! She said, "MOM, there are only THESE letters that I can use to solve the name of the drawing." I knew that already. What she hadn't told me was that she was playing against a website and trying to get extra points, and on those games, she cannot comment after she solves the problem. Had I known that, I wouldn't have made the comment.

So, she thinks I'm crazy and gives me one of her looks, like I'm losing my mind. I iterated to her that she didn't bother to explain to me how that game was different from the games she plays with friends. I know there is a lot of miscommunication between us since we both have fibrofog a lot, but I'm really getting tired of her trying to make a big deal out of things when she doesn't explain herself fully and then acting like I'm the one who is looney.

What makes me angrier is that she is getting belligerent about it, bordering on complete disrespect, and blowing it all out of proportion. I finally told her that I wouldn't tolerate that kind of disrespect (she and her two children live with us because of her health problems and inability to work). If I didn't know better, I'd think she was reverting back to her teenage years when she was sure I was completely stupid.

I know some have mentioned this problem in the past. Would you have reacted to her comments any differently?

I would not worry about it. Being you both have fibro fog, I am sure you both are going to butt heads again. I agree, let it roll off your back. It isn't worth getting upset about. I would address the disrespect part though. Let her know you aren't going to tolerate it.

Hope things get better soon...

Hugs, Karen...

Thanks, guys. I appreciate the support!

Bwfm,

This situation sounds so familiar! I have fog (really thick fog) pretty much all the time, and I get teased and challenged a lot, too. No fun.

Lately, things have been better between me and our older daughter who's living with us, but for a few months there it was pretty tense...I'm not sure why, but I think it had more to do with what was going on in her life than anything with me. I'm just the easiest target somehow :(

I hope your daughter calms down and starts appreciating you more. Maybe she projects onto you some of her fear of the fog - I'm getting overly psychological here, probably, but do you think that's possible?

Good luck!

Debbie

I liked what Debbie said...

Glad you said something to her...she is lucky to have your help and support...and they still need boundaries even as adults.

I can totally relate. I hear my son and wife have questioned my ability to communicate sometimes but they don't know anything about fibro fog and don't seem interested in educating themselves. Much easier to judge, I guess. You're not alone!