Posted 8/28/2014 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
What you are about to read is very long, but try to read it to the end because I'm hoping somewhere in this you will find something that will give you that extra push you need to fight this hateful disease. I think you are having what I call a Flare-up, we always feel bad but the Flare-up makes us feel so much worse. If we get a bug or a virus, or if our immune systems are down low then it makes the Fibromyalgia feel a 100 times worse, you have to get to know how your body works and look for the signs that way you can fight it and not let it go too far, that is such a terrible thing. So read on sweetheart and keep your chin up.
I really feel for you and what you are going through, but at such a young and tender age, when you should be out having fun and doing all the wonderful things a teenager should be able to do.
My youngest child just turned 19 this year and truly couldn't imagine how hard it would be for her to go through what you are at your age. I got Fibromyalgia in 2002 approx. I hadn't been sick my whole life, raised 4 children by myself, worked a full-time job and was always hyper. All this while living in the USA for 21yrs.
My last husband used to beat, kick, strangle me, what ever he felt like at the time, I lost a son in child birth and was sent into labor early with another, all due to my EX! In 2000, at age 40, like my mom, I went through an early menopause, 2 yrs. later I had a full Hysterectomy, 2 Carpal Tunnel surgeries on each hand, Foot surgery and in 1996 was a passenger in a wreck, within a week of finding out that I had a Ruptured Disc I had major surgery on my neck C4 area close to where all the nerves are sent out in the spine. A year later someone else hit my car and got a ruptured disc in my lower back. I had Paralysis in my right arm for some mths. I'm told it won't be the last time either. I was sent to Pain Management as I was also told I had Spine Degenerative Bone Disease. In 2002 when all of a sudden my body felt as if I had been beaten so badly and my body trembled and would get spasm jerks starting in my legs all the way up to my face, everything became muddled up in my head, at times I can't speak properly or swallow. I was diagnosed with the Infamous Fibromyalgia. Severe depression set in, I didn't have the strength to move most days, it was and is the worst. I prayed, I read up on it, I looked for cures, I took supplements, I tried almost anything that I was able to do. In the end I resigned myself to a life of misery. Before I came back to the UK I had 2 more MRI and told I needed Lumbar Surgery ASAP, which I haven't done yet. I also had problems with my teeth but I still had a full mouth of them. My father became ill and myself and two youngest children came back to the UK in 2011. It took so much out of my body, I tried to help my father as much as I could but in the end before he passed away in 2012 I literally went downhill so quick that I couldn't even leave my 2nd floor flat. My daughter the same age as you, went back home to the USA and my son moved to Derby. I'd lost all contact with old friends after 21yrs. my mom lives in Wales, I live in Peterborough, to weak for the journey to visit her and her partner. I have a cousin and his wife that live in Rugby, but that's it. Everyone I know are in the USA, my son in Derby will be returning home to the USA too. Now I'm housebound, my home is a mess, I moved to a bungalow but the Housing Association just dumped me here, made me leave brand new carpets, they refused to help knowing full well I'm disabled and have no one to turn to. The house hadn't been cleaned,not even a lick of paint. Everything is still in boxes I moved August last year 2013. When I moved back to England I went down hill so quick, it's like a snowball rolling downhill, one thing after another, I said earlier before coming back I had teeth, in the past year or so I have lost every tooth in my mouth except for 5 broken, mis-sharpen ones, I have lost the will and confidence to leave this dump any appts. I take at least a week to prepare for it. Lifting my arms to brush my hair etc, takes so much out of me. I'm the same person who raised 4 children alone and worked, a spotless home and so... Much energy.
I told you all this sweetheart because I don't want you to give up, keep fighting it, God is watching over you. In the past 4 months a lot of things have begun to change for me, not my health but my outlook on it all. My Doctors, my Pastor and a lot of the kindest people I have ever met are helping me to get this place sorted and giving me HOPE for a brighter future. I didn't give you the low down on my past or present for sympathy etc. But to show you things can change, maybe not what we really want but to make our lives more comfortable, more promising. We are in this situation for a reason and it took me a long time to understand what it was, but it's to be there for other people in the same boat. When the ignorant people don't see anything wrong they assume we are full of it. Just to have other people to talk to and know every step you take is harder than the last is a huge comfort to us all. Out there somewhere there's another young girl, like yourself when you first found out who needs someone, that someone could be you. Just to listen and know you can help her by just being a friend. I'm sure we have all, at one point or another, lost a friend because they didn't believe there was anything wrong with us. So we have to make new friends, true friends. Right now someone needs you. It's such a wonderful feeling when someone actually BELIEVES you and understand how hard it is.
I really wish with all my heart I could take this away from you and for you to do all the things you want, but I can't. Get someone to help and make some phone calls, I'm sure that there is a way you can do your Freshman year at home, there are so many wonderful charities that wii do what they can and know others too, who also can help. You could get a Gov. Grant to help you start your schooling at home. Get on your computer sit it on your lap and start searching, you will be surprised with all the help out there. Avoid anyone who is sick or has a virus, at least until they are better, I know if I catch a virus etc. I get a really bad flare-up and it's 10 times worse than normal and takes longer to go away. But sometimes we just get run down and our immune systems are down and that can cause a bad case of a flare-up. A flare-up to me is when I feel 100 times worse than I normally do, even to talk on a phone etc. is too much. So try and do some research on what you feel you are lacking. Had you been sleeping bad, had you not been eating properly, was someone around who was ill? Think of these things that could of made you get a flare-up. Take some vitamins, get yourself a juicer and make fresh drinks to keep your immune system up etc.
I know it's easier said than done, I can't do it for myself either but have you got family or friends to help? Get in touch with the disability help sites, social services, a local charity, not only will they help but you start to feel good about yourself and it picks you up. Don't be afraid to ask for help, ask your doctors, anything or anybody. There are so many wonderful people out there but we don't hear about them, get in touch with your local church even if you don't go to church or they are not of the same church you would normally go to, it doesn't matter to God or to the people from that church, ask to speak to the Pastor, Priest, Rev. Etc trust me they do not force you to talk about religion if you don't want to, they are just very good human beings who really want to help. Then instead of the ball rolling downhill at a fast pace out of control. It will stop and start going up hill. Remember a burden shared is a burden halved, call Salvation Army, The Red Cross, Samaritans they really are good even if you just want to bend their ear and talk or you want some advice or help. It's there darling you just have to look. Take good care of yourself and let us all know how you are doing. Just fight it, fight your way out, it won't go away but it does get better and the Flare-up will go away, just listen to what your body is telling you, watch for the signs. Blessings to you, sincerely a friend Lorna x