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Posted 5/10/2015 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
My husband has non diabetic neuropathy. The drs believe it is because he had untreated celiac disease for so many years that cause his nerve damage. His neuropathy is getting worse. My PCP believes I have Fibro, and I am waiting to see the Rheumatologist in a few weeks for confirmation. That being said, we are both struggling with our health. We have 2 adult children in our home. Our daughter works 40-60 hours a week. She has an undiagnosed auto immune disorder (Drs and specialists (many of them) know something is wrong, but cannot pinpoint what.) My son is a full time college student in the midst of final exams. He has some disabilities as well. We all try to work together to at least keep the house somewhat presentable. Over the past week it has been rough. My husband has been in a lot of pain. My daughter has worked 12+ hours a day. My son has been studying non stop for exams. And I have been in the midst of a flare. We had a close friend pass away unexpectedly from a pulmonary embolism this week. For those who might have a spouse or others in the house who also have disabilities, how do you manage the household chores? Sometimes cooking a proper meal and cleaning the kitchen is a chore. Finances do not allow for us to hire outside help. It isn't always like this, but like I said, this week has been a perfect storm of craziness.
Posted 5/10/2015 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
Are any of the disabilities something that could allow for aid from non-profit organizations? If not, are there any teenagers in your neighborhood or church group that could come help out a few hours a week? Some school clubs require a certain number of service hours each week. Or a teenager could charge maybe $10/hour (or something), as opposed to a professional cleaning service.
Posted 5/10/2015 6:17 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure how much help I will be since I don't believe my Fibro is as bad as most. The pain slows me down but rarely stops me. It does disrupt my sleep which puts me behind on my work. My husband is disabled so 99 percent of the work falls on me. I'm having a harder time keeping things up the way I used to but I'm still able to keep the basics up. some times we'll use paper plates. I like to double recipes and freeze the extras. I 'dust' my car in between washes. I keep up the things that 'multiply' like dishes. Dusting can be caught up easily but if you get behind on dishes then you're in trouble. I dug out some bulbs in the garden today so I don't have to cut back the dead leaves next year.

I'd love to hear how others cope in this situation.
Posted 5/10/2015 6:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tammy ,
I feel for you as same here ,I can't afford outside help but I take small projects as I can't keep up and if they get done I take a break.
With my fibro fog and pain,depression I have huge issues but I try to take it slow.
Or the worry kills me.
Posted 5/10/2015 11:36 AM (GMT 0)
I would be willing to bet that you are a perfectionist! I am and I look around at my home and can see a million things wrong with it. I always say I can see a gnat on the wall ten feet away. But yet three times this year I've had people say, right out of the blue, how clean my home is! It makes me feel good but I just don't see it.

Tammy, you have all adults in the home so I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think it is! Try to relax on that issue when you have these "perfect storm" periods. You can get to it when things settle down. I have a hand-painted sign in my kitchen that says, "If you've come to see me...Welcome! If you've come to see my house...Make an appointment." turn

I bought a inexpensive Shark sweeper that picks up surface dirt and it is light as a feather. I pull that out to touch up the floors instead of my heavier vacuum and dusting isn't that much of a chore for me. I also would ask everyone to pick up after themselves since all of you are adults and are dealing with pain issues. It's a simple thing to put things back where they belong once you are done using them.

When I'm doing well and am making a casserole for dinner, I make two casseroles and put one in the freezer. I also bought plastic plates with snap on lids and I freeze individual meals that way also. This is wonderful when you hurt and are exhausted but are hungry. It's nice to sit down to a home cooked meal without doing anything but heating it up. I keep bagged salad in the fridge at all times and also Perdue Short Cuts....that is fresh, cut up chicken or turkey in a zip loc bag. (You can freeze this, also, so you have it on hand if needed.). I just cut some up on a salad and add a dinner roll and that is a nice, easy meal also.

I guess the bottom line is to plan ahead a little so, when you have these bad periods, you are prepared for them. It's also okay not to have a perfect home. Things will get done when you are having better days. Besides, having a loving home is far more important and it sure sounds like you have a great loving home.

Sherrine
Posted 5/10/2015 12:26 PM (GMT 0)
It can be hard but your children must help you even though they are going through hard stuff too. Just ask them to pick up or load a dish washer.. It won't put them being too much. I absolutely love the advice Sherrine I think I could benefit from it as well.
Posted 5/11/2015 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
Perfectionist is my first name, not middle. LOL. You have given me some great ideas. I thought about making meals ahead of time on those days things are better. My pet peeve is that my husband and son (but especially my son) does not pick up after himself. He will vacuum, clean toilets, mow the lawn, and take care of the trash, but for some reason, just does not pick up his mess. It has been an issue for as long as I can remember. It is actually something he therapist addresses. I can only pray things get better.
Posted 5/11/2015 3:53 AM (GMT 0)
My favorite tool for the house is swiffer on a stick..it makes dusting so easy when i do not want to polish...and after dusting i run it over the floors to picks up hair..
Posted 5/11/2015 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
Tammy, sorry you are going through such a rough time. Years ago I was taking care of my handicapped mom for years in my house when I still had a teenaged son in the home. I know things can seem over whelming at times.

Like Sherrine, I plan ahead for all meals. I do a lot of the prep work, chopping veggies, washing lettuce, earlier in the day when I have more energy. I cook simple dinners. A meat, a salad, a fresh veggie, and a baked sweet or regular potato. The salad is a big part of our meal so I make sure everything is fresh and washed so I can put it together quickly. I actually put it all into a large bowl a few hours before we eat and cover it with a damp paper towel, then put it in the frig until dinner. I put the croutons, grated cheese, olives and dressing on the table in their original containers and we put on whatever we want. I'm not a big meat eater but pork tenderloins and chicken breasts are easy to fix on the grill or in the oven. The potatoes are baked at the same time.

It sounds like your son is helpful with most things. If he doesn't pick up his stuff I would put it all in his bedroom if it's stuff you can lift. That's what I did with my sons' things.

I hope things calm down for you soon.
Posted 5/11/2015 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Many good ideas. My Husband is helping a lot with chores now. I used to do everything and rarely took time to relax. I have no choice now, just had to accept much less with the house. I use feather dusters, swiffers, I have long handled dust pans and some long tools that can dust high up. I use a Magic Reach that you can buy pads for. I also can use it with paper towels and can clean the big mirrors in the washrooms. I like Scrubbing Bubbles for the bath tub tiles. I do have to put on a face mask with it as it is very strong. I, too, have a light weight Shark vacuum that is electric. I find the ones with batteries don't work as well. I do have a central vac but the cord is way too heavy. I have to use it sometimes but if I can't at least the Shark is picking up some dirt.

My Husband helps now with laundry, shopping, taking out the garbage. He has not tried cooking but he does man the BBQ. He may retire this year. Not sure how he will like retirement. In some 45 years he has only taken about 6 sick days off. I am rather sluggish in the morning. He has always been an early riser. He does usually sleep better than me. I envy his ability to just go to bed and go to sleep in a minute.

Just remember, everything is waiting for you if you have to take some time off.

Loring

Osteoarthritis in Multiple Joints, Fibromyalgia, Neuralgia, Chronic Daily Headaches, I.B., Hard of Hearing...
Posted 5/12/2015 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
For us, we often just let it be. We try to keep things simplified, and don't keep a lot of things that collect dust, so that helps. We do have someone who comes in every 2 weeks to do floors and bathrooms. The rest just gets done as it gets done. If we cook (and often we don't, luckily we've found a good place locally that makes prepared Paleo meals so we can eat healthy and not have to deal with cooking) we try to take turns and keep it simple (a meat and salad usually) and healthy. We try to do cleanup after we cook, or at least put the dishes in the dishwasher. Aside from that it gets done when it gets done. Sometimes things do pile up and I start to get stressed when I see it, but I know I can't do anything about it unless I can do something about it. So, it waits for one of us to have the time/energy to deal with it.
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