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Fibromyalgia
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Posted 6/15/2015 1:26 PM (GMT 0)
Its hard to see old friends and they remember who you were even just 4 years ago, lighter in spirit and a bit more mobile. I grieve for who i was before the fibro set in before a accident in my home caused trauma and brought on pain before a near end to my marriage caused so much emotional pain and more trauma with family that took me from a place of healing to a place of darkness and pain meds and doctors and treatments that didnt work.

I went to a wedding of a childhood friend this past weekend and it made me think how sorry for me people look, how they see a sad person and looks of pity when i speak of my health and i cried a little when i got home for who i was even after my last surgery when things were looking up and then the crud hit the fan with my family and i had a fall and it seems that the past 4 years have been a slow moving avalanche that has buried and tried with all its might to suffocate my light but i am still fighting. I stand up each day and remind myself that I CAN DO THIS, i can make it through but it is hard in the middle of a new flare that started 2 weeks ago with the fatigue and feeling fat and unattractive and worthless to my family. I morn for who i was who people knew me as and i feel like people look at me and see a sad person just barely holding on to her sanity but i am trying i am forever fighting.

How do you make life better in the midst of meds that make you foggy fibro that makes you forget things and look like a fool at work, and a body and mind that never seem to be on the same page.
Posted 6/15/2015 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bunny,

I had an incident like that yesterday. It can be very difficult.

What I do when the occasion calls for it is I share the pride I feel with others concerning how I take care of myself. That I do all that I can for myself naturally without being perfect about it.

I love to share my knowledge, some of which I've learned in here, with friends. I never act as if I feel sorry for myself in front of people other than my family and this seems to help me.
Posted 6/15/2015 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
I was hurting bad but i looked AWESOME and tried to play it off with the pity people saying that its ok that i have practice handling pain but it sux trying to be normal
Posted 6/16/2015 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
Bunny -

I really understand what you are going through. I'm having an issue lately with friends who leave me feeling like I just don't fit in because I can't .... (fill in the blank). I have been doing little things to help myself. I shower and dress every day if I have to crawl into the bathroom. The worse I feel, the more important it is that I do something with my hair and put on a little bit of jewelry.

I also watch silly relaxing Hallmark channel movies/shows while I work. I find it upsets me if I watch something more serious and it helps me relax to watch something light and keeps my brain from wandering into bad places where I put myself down.
Posted 6/16/2015 11:45 AM (GMT 0)
Bunny, that's great that you looked awesome. I know what you mean Bunny and Firefly about trying to look our best when need be.

Yes, I too find it hard to try to fit in. But I'm certainly thankful for those occasions where I look awesome and people can't tell I have limitations. That can be a positive and a negative.

Jenni, I love watching those gentle, feel-good television programs too. Have you been watching "Where Calls The Heart?"
Posted 6/16/2015 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
ALMOST MEDFREE-- what calls the heart is AWESOME!!! I don't have cable but i watched s 1 on Netflix.

I do my best to look normal and i do even though i feel like molten lava is coursing through my muscles this week is especially hard as i am flaring harrrrrrrrrrrrd due to issues with my Medtronic Neurostem unit, it was turned off and i didn't know i pressed the wrong button and for a week i was miserable and didnt know why then it dawned on me and im suffering the aftermath of that.
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