Posted 9/20/2015 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hope,
I'm sorry you're suffering with the leg pain. When I heard your description, I could completely relate. I hope no one thinks you're crazy. Because you're not!
Yes, I want to see a therapist, My. Because I am wreck. The move has proven to be not at all what I expected. I mean severely so. A few snags I expected. But to have my cousins treat me like they have, like wealthy people patronizing their ailing cousin, by offering table scraps, to help a mother they don't want to deal with. They whined about not having money to pay me all the while I see their multiple resort trips to Florida, California, elsewhere. I'm all for people getting their vacations, but that they claimed they had no money? Then they proceeded to call me abnormal for not responding to calls at the drop of a hat, yet not getting back to me for days if not weeks. They claimed they understood my fibro issues, but I think they would do anything to get me here to watch their mom. They'd change the terms and not let me know. We don't even speak to each other now. I'd have been homeless or living at the Salvation Army if I wasn't able to live with my parents right now. I'm still reeling from that.
I desperately took some teaching gigs, that I wouldn't have taken, like a Saturday morning, if I ihadnt thought I'd be jobless and penniless. I'm so unbelievably exhausted after sat. Morning that I crawl into bed and even my 90+ year old dad sees what a mess I am. (If I was 'normal' these jobs would be perfect.). I may have to quit a day. The chronic tendinitis is making it difficult to keep up, and pain, and utter exhaustion.
Meanwhile, my cousins are mad at me because they found out the hard way that they'd have to pay someone 10x what they wanted to pay me.... Umm.... I'm so angry over their despicable selfishness. They want for naught... (Fancy homes, cars, numerous vacations).
The one plus is im getting nice times and memories with my parents, bless their souls. But sometimes I'm just too sick to help the, as much as I should.
Making this move has cost me money I didn't have (america ... Land of the fee), getting dr. Appointments monstrously bureaucratic and time consuming, and my anxiety has sky rocketed. Loss of self. Still living inboxes. Less quiet downtime.
Sorry Hope. I didn't mean to hijack this thread with my rant.
T