Knot in upper back that inhibits the rest of the body, happy ending yay

I have been dealing with knots in my back for an year now, and it's been getting better with good care of myself in a stress free environment. So I even thought against posting here but I believe it wouldn't hurt.
These knots are numerous in number, I assume from the frequency in which they pop all the time.
They also affect the muscles in my shoulder and then my biceps and so forth. My whole body in fact, and it really tires me out and its easier for me to develop fatigue. There is one effect in particular that I hate, and it's where the tendon of my hands which are visible, pop over my knuckles. They make no audible sound but the sensation of it feels like a popping one. I've been to a hand doctor and he looked over it, and sent me to a doctor specializing in nerves, and they did all these tests on me. MRI, sticking needles in my arms and making me move around, shooting electricity into me, the works. And all they told me was,"It's chronic pain".
Wow thanks that helps a lot. Then I went to a chiropractor and what he did helped me more than anything.
You see before all of this I was depressed to all hell. I had no friends, just acquaintances. My family life was in shambles and I even dropped out of school because of all of it. No one in school would really take my problems seriously anyway. A teacher even told me, "It was all in my head."
What the chiropractor told me was basically, "You are depressed so stop being depressed, also slam your back into the corner of the wall and grind on it for 20 mins". I didn't really believe the second one but the first thing that he said got me thinking. Grinding my back does feel good though, I should listen haha.

But that when I realized that it really is all in my head.
Before the dropout happened, I already hated school. I was working on my own to have a stay at home job. I was studying and studying and studying but it was all driven by fear. I would be sweating profusely every time I would study, get hot flashes and I would be really tensed up. If I don't get better, I'll have nothing is what I told myself every time I would study. I hated it.
That's when my symptoms started to show. I no longer could write, barely type. My hands were fatigued in less than a few minutes.
I needed these hands to work, but they hated me too. I was sorely depressed, right after all of this the dropout happened.
I was in the pits, I just stayed at home, got fatter and did nothing but watch comedy shows and wasting time. Every time I would attempt to write or type it would flair up again. But after the chiropractor visit, I started to wonder, how come I can use my hands but whenever it relates to something that I fear (studies, schoolwork, work, etc) it would come again? I believe now is because my mind hates doing those things, so it does everything it can to make a reason to stop. To be honest I'm still not sure what happened to my back. Is it the tendons, the muscles, etc? I have no clue. All I know is that it's something that my mind created to stop myself from doing things that I fear. Cause it would make no sense why I can play a game for hours on end but not be able to write or type. When I started to realize that, and told myself to study because you want to, because you love doing it. It's gotten better ever sense. It has not gone away completely, but ever since my realization, my skills have developed beyond my wildest expectations,and I even got a lover. I'm the happiest I've ever been my whole life, and I'm still living with the knots in back. But it really has gotten better, I typed all of this out this morning.

Maybe I'm a weirdo and no one else has experienced this, and I'm still not sure why I just slapped my life story on a forum I've never been to. Maybe it was in the hopes that I learn more about me and what I am going through.
I do want to say this although. The teacher that told me that it was all in my head also compared me to a another student she had that was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and that what I have is nothing so suck it up.
Don't ever, ever compare yourself and use that to put yourself higher or to put yourself down. You'll never be happy. okay thats all bye

Hi, Totalnewbie, and welcome! Well, the people you talked to obviously know nothing about fibromyalgia. It is not all in our heads. It is recognized as a true illness by the American Medical Association, the American College of Rheumatology, the National Institutes of Health, the Mayo Clinic and John's Hopkins and the Cleveland Clinc, the World Health Organization, and on and on and on. The people and doctors who told you fibro is all in a person's head are definitely not up to date in the medical field and you should RUN and find a good doctor.

Do read up on Fibromyalgia. I think you would be very surprised. Google Mayo Clinic and fibromyalgia or NIH and fibromyalgia. It will be a real eye-opener for you.

If you are interested, read Fibro 101...the first thread on the forum. There are good links about fibro and you will learn a lot there also. The first link, I believe, is an interview with Dr. Clauw who is one of the top researchers for this illness. You just might find it interesting.

Your muscle knots are most likely trigger points. You can push on them and massage them and they do get better. If they are in your back, use a tennis ball against a wall to push and simulate the movement of massage. This really helps. I am not a doctor but I certainly wouldn't suggest that you "slam" your back into a corner of a wall. That seems to me to be a good way to damage your spine and vertebrae.

I'm glad you are doing better with your depression and with your hands. I do not suffer with depression but yet I have had fibro for 30 years. My hands are fine also. But how fibro affects each person can be different. We do have to have pain in all four quadrants of the body for three or four months or more to get a diagnosis of this illness. If you have had these problems, do see a good board certified rheumatologist to be checked out as to what is going on with you. Other illness such as lupus and Lyme disease have many of the same symptoms as fibro but the treatments are different.

I do hope you become educated on fibromyalgia and stop passing on such statements as it is all in our heads. Studies and research have proven it isn't all in our heads. I realize you are just repeating what you heard but it isn't accurate.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you. Hope to hear more from you soon.

Sherrine

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Sherrine:

I'm searching up fibro and you were right, it is very eye opening! Right now I'm currently reading up on this article -https://www.verywell.com/fibromyalgia-myofascial-pain-syndrome-716183- and found that I lean towards myofascial pain syndrome, I am planning to make a doctor visit to get diagnosed. I am very glad I found this site!
I didn't want to mention this because I did not want to come off hard-headed, but I promise you I did not mean to say that what I am going through is make believe, just that for me, it was something caused by emotional trauma. Nobody understood and I didn't either, so I let my thoughts go wild. My apologizes for the confusion.

Post Edited (totalnewbie) : 4/12/2017 12:54:38 AM (GMT-6)

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Sherrine:

Thank you again for all the helpful recommendations, I will be looking into all of this a lot more. Doing research is important. "It sounds more like you are guessing about fibro because of your misinformed teacher." I was confused by this sentence, do you mean that I am guessing whether I have fibro or guessing about fibro haha, and I looked around for a tennis ball yesterday but couldn't find one. Time to get one for the sole purpose of massaging myself. My condolences for all tennis fans

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Sherrie:

Ahhh I see, sorry again for the confusion, and thanks again for the helpful tips!

Total Newbie.
Please don't feel bad about repeating what you've heard. I am truly sorry for the way ppl have stigmatized you and all of us. I had the same primary care doctor for 16 years and always suffered from those knots in the back even then. I was finally diagnosed with anxiety and he at the time insisted I was depressed) That was when I was in my 20's and I refused to accept that as well. He wanted me to try antidepressants but it made me feel depressed instead. So, I stopped taking them under his advisement and continued to see him for years about my widespread pain, never once Fibromyalgia was even considered because back then...fibro was depression and anxiety with "tense muscles". Was taking muscle relaxers but felt drugged. So then it was Tramadol, which did help a little for little time. He knew me well so he was definitely right about my anxiety, and suggested therapy. (There goes that initial indication or what I perceived as "all in my head for years) but there's way more to it and I didn't stop looking for answers and relief. His patience and care to find an answer was important for him and I knew he cared. So, we kept an open dialogue and I did my routine follow ups, blood work, etc. I wasn't even married for 1 year and I was in two back to back car accidents with in the same month. The first was me hitting the back of someone's car at 5-7 mph so I didn't think much of it, but then I hit a deer head on! Both happened to be on my way to my favorite career I had at the time. I went to what I thought was a physical therapist because that's what we worked on me for and what I thought would help. It did help prove I had something physically wrong according to him (visually could see my back's muscle spasms, so he sent me off to get an X-ray. As I waited for the X-ray to be done I sobbed in pain. My hands were numb, my fingers tingled, and I was scared. Can you believe that the doctor there sent me back to my "PT" without giving me the X-ray!?! My PT was shocked but was like, "oh well". Come to find out when the bill came from the insurance, I wasn't covered bc he wasn't an actual physical therapist but a Chiropractor!!! Grrr! I vowed to never see someone from the phone book or took their word regarding their credentials ever again. But, I am now 35 years old and will not see another doctor other than my primary care doctor, again unless he refers me. Even though he referred me to a rheumatologist, that rheumatologist did nothing but push on my tender points (I displayed pain in 14/18, I think at the time), he gave me no diagnosis. It was not until I did my own research about my symptoms and read forums like this that I brought it up to my doctor, myself. Ps..don't try to self diagnose from what you hear or read or you'll go nuts. But...after asking him if this could be Fibromyalgia after all these years and my accident (trauma:physical and emotional) he did some further research of his own and I was finally diagnosed on 4/8/2013. The relief I felt for finally having a name for what I felt, lifted literally the weight off my shoulders. It all started to make sense. Every symptom, since I was a child screamed I suffered from this all along. Myofacial pain, anxiety, IBS, ovarian cysts... (I wrote my pain history down, back to when I was a young child and will post it tomorrow to see if anyone can relate or find it helpful. It is pretty detailed and may have some important trauma I've experienced, left out on purpose, but it's honest). I have also been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and mild Graves' disease last August. Which would not have been discovered if my special doctor/framily hadn't been on top of his research and had me see a neurologist. These labels sound scary but it gives you relief to know you're not a hypochondriac and shuts up others who say you "look fine"! I moved when I got married and tried seeing a primary care doctor he referred me to closer to me. Sent her all 16 years of my medical records and do I believe for one second SHE read any of it? Even after being diagnosed she did a routine physical exam and said she'd cb w/ results and when to come back. She never called me with my results. She tried getting me in for another appointment for additional testing and wouldn't help me or my other doctor in continuing my Cymbalta and pain meds. She already "stigmatized me" as a pill popper and felt she could care less. Needless to say I didn't go back. I am super fortunate that someone of my generation has had the same doctor for so long, also bc I live way west of Chicago and cannot find a local doctor that specializes in Fibromyalgia. It's far enough of a drive when in pain to see the doctor I refuse to loose.
Words of advice...don't quit and get multiple opinions. Try not to google yourself to stress and self diagnosing, but do ask a doctor if you're worried or believe you (not them) may found the answer. Find a doctor that spends more than 15-20 minutes with you and is genuinely interested in helping you. Then hold onto them tight. But they too are human and like Sherrine said, those doctors are stuck in the dark ages. You may have to be the one to inform them. Then ask for your money back. Lol!
Thank you for venting bc I haven't done so myself in a while but can now bc I have a current form
Humbley,
Intrigue

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Intrigue23:

I read your story, thank you for telling us, as it was a great read and I definitely agree with what you said last. "believe you (not them) may found the answer" Thank you for the great advice and kind words.