Feeling lots better now

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am feeling alot better then last week.  My shoulder is almost back to normal.  It will still ache pretty good if I try to stress it so I am heeding the warning and leaving it alone.  My mood has improved too.  Still very tired latey but not so much of the deppression I had last week.  The temps are cooler and that is nice for me not so much for Jays work.  As soon as the sun goes away so do the ppl wanting sub sandwiches.  Been slow and sales are down which in turn brings Jays mood down.  He is working a 17 hour shift today as yet another on of his employees bailed and to top it off headquarters come in this past week and inspected while he was gone.  Um ya,they failed multiple things and becuase its Jays crew working Jay got wrote up so tomorrow he called a meeting for everyone and I would not want to be in that room as he has been steaming all week about it and rather grumpy to live with.

I went over to clean at my moms yesterday.  I asked her whe was the last time she mopped floors and she said she had spot cleaned! she moved there in december and the floors had never been mopped!!!  So you know it I had to mop but I took it slow and rested inbetween the kitchen and the entryway and bathroom.  Got her other stuff done and brought her these silk butterflies that were kinda big and my idea was to stake them and put them in the garden.  Moms idea was to attach them to her living room wall lol so I did and I am sure my daughter willbe horrorfied hehehe oh well moms apartment put them where she wants so there is a slew of mulit colored butterflies fluttering on her wall.  Well got to go my brother just showed up.  Have a good day all.

Karen

I'm so glad your shoulder is doing better and you do sound so much better!  I'm also happy to see that you paced yourself at your Mom's house.  Don't overdo, though.  You don't want to get back in the pain.  If you stop to think about pacing yourself before you start anything, you'll have many more days that that pain is controlled.  Good job, Karen!

 

Sherrine

Hi Karen,

I am so sorry that you have been having such a painful experience, but I am happy that you are feeling better now. I know that it is hard to do, but you must learn to pace yourself. Try not to get stressed, because both of these things cause us to flare up. By the sound of it you have been an active person. It is so hard to slow yourself down, but you need to.

Best wishes to you,
hugs, Karen

Hi Karen-
Happy to hear your doing better, there is nothing worse than severe pain! And you paced yourself cleaning at your moms - woo-hoo!
I'm learning real quick that if I don't pace myself it's guaranteed I will get bad pain. I lifted my granddaughter yesterday a couple times and I thought oh- am I going to be in trouble tomorrow, but so far so good. I won't make it a habit.
Sounds like she had different ideas about the butterflies, huh? :) If she's happy that's all that counts. GamJill

Good Morning,

 

Ya I must have thrown myself into a big flare when I hurt my back and it comtinued on with the bursitis cause the bad joint pain I was getting is better now too.  I still am stiff and sore but not nearly like last week.  Now I am having a problem with edema in my legs.  I tend to retain water daily specially when it's hot or humid but my legs and hands were like sausages yesterday.  I spent the day with my brother over at my moms and was on my feet from 10am till about 7 pm.  We were running all over town with his grandson going to the thrift stores and a few other stores and did some shopping for mom and I didnt even realize just how long I'd been walking and standing without a break.  I amdrinking lots of water since last nightand putting my feet up and thats helping.

 

I tell ya I love my brother, I am closest to him then anyone else in the family but he was trying me yesterday.  Randy is going through a rough time right now with his family.  He is not happy in his marriage and he has a horrible B for a step daughter (who lives with them) and then theres his grandson and that relasionship is all wack.  Randy spends about 18 hours a day with Nathan,he is the sole caretaker of this kid as Randys wife works outside the home as does his step daughter at the same company making big bucks but Nathan is like a throw away kid nobody really wants him cept Randy.  Thats because this kid is disrespectful and horribly spoiled and super hyper.  He is destructive and he steals,ya know lil things just anything.  He lies like crazy too.  I do love this boy he is my godson but I just cant stand him if that makes any sense.  The older he gets the worse he is and most of that is due to being catered to and getting any toy or game he ever wants and he never has to earn anything so between his mother buying him off(she gets himethings because she never spends time with him) and Randy over compensates for the fact that the kids mom doesnt care.

 

So this kid tries anyones patience and Randy deals with all that stress by doing drugs.  He is addicted to presciption pain killers and his tolerance is building.  He used to take maybe a few vicodin when he got here and then that was it he got his buzz and when it wore off no more but now he is taking like 5-6 double vicodins and 2-3 morphine in a 7-8 hur period and acts like an idiot when high.  I do keep my meds locked in my room because even though I dont like to think about him maybe taking any I cant trust that.  He buys his pills off his step sons friend but when he is running low he is constantly asking me if I could "front " him some and he alreay knows the answer to that question.  A big fat nooo.  I dont like what he is doing to himself but I love him so much and I do want to see him plus my mom adores him.  I was so ready for him to go home yesterday though.

 

After he left I stayed at moms as Jay was working a double shift so I brought over all the stuff to make a tuna casserole and had dinner with my mom.  Its been a big concern that she isnt eatingright or much at all for that matter so I have been making extra at home and bringing her food.  She will eat just fine if someone makes it for her lol and that tiny lady can polish off half a pan full of tuna casserole.  I cleaned her house and got her butterflies onthe wall the way she liked and then we sat down and had a nice dinner.  She said ya know,I really am enjoying this and I told her i was glad she liked the food but she said even though the food was good she mostly just enjoyed the two of us sitting down together and talking without yelling.  I said I liked it too.  It was a calm in the storm that has become our relasionship.  She then said I dont know why we have been fighting so much anyways its always over stupid stuff.  And I knew right then that this quiet moment wont last for long  because my mother thinks that I am making a big deal out of her lifestyle.  about he not eating and staying up all night and falling on a reg basis and not keeping her place clean and not taking her medicine correctly and not going to the doctor and me having to be there constantly to make things right....to her thats no big deal becuase she doesnt have any reasoning left in her and her mind is starting to go.  She is getting further into demencia and she knows it and it scares her so she turns that into anger.  She feels like I ambreaking her spirit and all I want is for her to be safe.

 

So I just shut up and didnt answer her remark at that time.  I just let it be a mother and a daughter sharing a quiet meal and the end of a summer day, a day that my mother probably wont remember the next day but I will and it was nice.  I had my mom back if only for that short time.  The hard thing is I know that moments like that are far and few between with the way she feels about me interfering in her life.  But I have to take care of her the best I can and that doesnt always mean being the good guy to her.  Thats ok though she can be mad at me and hate me at times all she wants as long as I know I am doing right by her and keeping her safe.  I told my brother how hard its been lately and he goes "ya but someones got to do it and your the only one" so I knew I am the only one and that can be a pretty lonely place to be in.  Well,gotta get off this comp and moving,I have my own house to clean today and not sure if that going to be with help or not.  A few hours ago I asked Jay when he was going to mop the floors for me and he said"when did I say I was goin to mop?" I told him the other day and he goes"I dont remember that" I just went omggggggg not another person who cant remember a conversation from one day to the next.  I dont think I can handle him and my mom forgetting all the time sighhhhhhhhhhhh so who knows but one way or another the floors will be done even if I dont get anything else done today and on that note I got to go.  Have a great day all.

 

Karen

Ahhhhhh quiet in the house,Jay is asleep and I have a few minutes to put my feet up before bed.  I think that for some things Jayson has selective memory and hearing as well lol but, he is having probems for real with his short term memory and I think that is stress related from work.  He manages a Subway sandwich store and his crew is pretty lame at the moment.  HIs store got wrote up the other day and he was really upset because  he takes great care in keeping it up to par and the inspection happened on his day off but he still gets in trouble for it since the store and his crew is his responsibility.

 

As for home he did clean the tub and shower and the bathroom floor and then I go in and do the toilet and vanity,clean off all the lil things that goon the shelves and wash the rugs.  As for the kitchen floor welllllllllll, I did the whole thing.  I know that it was too much,mopping and sweeping and vaccuuming are killer to my back but I have a white floor in the kitchen the kind with tons of tiny lil lines all through the vinyl and ya get areas where those lines get filled with dirt that the mop wont get even if you let the cleaner sit for a few.  So I was trying to show Jay that for those areas you have to put the cleaner down then use good ole elbow grease and a scrub brush to get it clean.  So I was on my hands and knee's and got the one spot clean then scooted over to the next spot and finally realized I was creeping my way across the floor and was going to turn it over to Jay but when I looked for him behind me he had sat back on the sofa(ya can see part way into my kitchen from the livng room ) and Jayson had fallen asleep sitting up and the sofa!!!

 

I didnt get mad at all,he had got up early this morning for a meeting at work to chew his drews butt so he was tired.  So I just continued on getting all the spots off the floor and then finished the reg mopping as well.  And let me tell ya there was this sharp pain in my low back!! but I got it done and it looks nice and thennnnnnnnn I glanced out the back sliding door and noticed my white lawn chairs and tables that I still had not scrubbed for summer and they were calling Karennnnnnnn wash me!!!  no really I heard it lol and there was my voice of reason saying noooooooo dont do it but ya I did as well as the lil kids chairs for my grandkids and the slide we have for them.  I was about half dead when I saw the slide but then I remebered last week that the baby wanted to slide and she couldnt because it was dirty so I just had to do the slide.

 

Tonight I am not in as bad of shape as I thought I would be,we will see what the morning bringsand I have to get up early cause we are taking the very bumpy bus into the next town to go to walmart.  Going to walmart isnt too bad though,not like the all day trips to the mall or Seattle and we will be home by lunch.  I am still worried about the edema in my legs and feet.  Still very puffy today but I was bad and really never got the chance to elevate my legs.  I was thinking I know I do have some edema issues but never this bad so what could be the culprit?  And I think part of it was I ate about 4large Clausens dill pickle halves yesterday.  I normaly am not a pickle person( lol that sounds funny he he pickle person) but for some reason that tasted so good on a hot day,but lots of sodium!!  And besides doing all those chores at home I went over to moms again and brought her some more food so on my feet even longer.  She was just sitting down to eat some cookies( woa big surprize! she loves sweets more then what she should be eating) and she was moaning and groaning getting into her chair.  She has osteo arthritis and she walks almost bent in half with her spine in bad shape plus scoliosis(sp?) so I gave her a neck and back rub while she ate.  It shocks me how thin she has gotten and made me want to cry to feel how frail her body was under my fingertips.  She started to cry and I asked if I was hurting hr and she said"no honey I just dont know why you are so good to me?) and then I did cry.  I just told her because she is my mom and I love her.  I have been working real hard on not getting mad at her even when she is at her meanest because for #1 . it doesnt solve anything and #2. it hurts my health and #3. and this is the big one......with my mother getting more and more frail each month and getting older (shes 76) everytime I see her could very well be the last time I see her.

 

I think about this more and more lately.  I try not to dwell on it and think with as stubborn as she is she might out live me,ya never know? But it does freak me out to know that with me coming over everyday most likely it will be me that finds her when she dies if she is not in the hospital.  I hate the way my brother is so flip with his remarks of " well you have to take care of everything when she does anyway". I am well aware of this as I am her soul benificiary and I have already sat down with her and talked out what she would like done after she is gone and we are comfortable talking about those things.  But I know that as much as she drives me crazy at times I will be crushed when she's gone so I try to keep that in mind when she is calling me for the 10th time in one day or shes not ready to go when we are going somewhere.  I have to remember in the sceme(sp?) of things,really what does it matter?

 

I am learningn so many things from the ppl I have met on this forum.  I am learning not to rush so much and to truly stop to enjoy life even if it's silkscreen butterflies on an old womans wall =)  and for that I thank you all.  No to say that I am not going to come here to B****(see censored myself) sometimes,hey we all need to blow off steam lol.  And I am sorry if I take up so much room on these pages at times but know I am mostly smiling when I am typing these words.  OK time for me to go to bed.  I am tired and as of now I DO hurt all over ackkkkk lol good night.

 

Soft Hugs,

Karen

Karen, I'm glad your feeling better too.  I know you are going through some bad times right now.  My mother is also 76 and sometimes she drives me up the wall, but I'm like you, I think each time I see her it could well be the last time and I would be devistated if something should happen to her. Hope your not in too much pain today.

 

God Bless!

Shannon

Karen, I have tile with little indentions in it.  I bought it purposely because it's not as slippery as the smooth tile.  Anyway, I found a long-handled scrub brush at Home Depot.  The handle is as long as my mop handle so I don't have to get on my hands and knees.  If I did that, I'd never be able to get up! 

In Florida, we get a lot of black mold along with the dirt on the patio furniture.  I used to scrub and scrub, trying to get the dirt off.  But then, one time I tried a little hot water with Spic and Span and some Clorox in it and it's a breeze to clean the furniture now!  Everything wipes off easily with no scrubbing.

Sherrine

Hummmm, Sherrine finally came up with a good idea.   I think we have very similar tile Sherrine. I hate this stuff and would be happy to take a hammer and break everyone and replace it with wood. Last time I listen to DH when it comes to flooring. The long handled brush just might work for him to clean it with.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

I love the Magic Eraser and use it on my walls.  But, I never thought about it for the fridge!  I'll definitely try that!  Thanks!

 

Marlee...BRAT! 

 

Sherrine

HI Ladies,

 

Made it to walmart this morning even though my old body complained plenty.  I am not nor have I ever been a morning person.  I like to take my time

getting ready for the day and with health problems it can take me sometimes 2 hours to get myself together.  Didnt do any fun shopping today,just went for household stuff and a few groceries.  I hate going there just for the boring stuff but Jay doesnt get paid for a week and I am pretty broke too.  I love shopping for my grandkids at walmart.  Its one thing Jay and I dont see eye to eye on and I understand that buying too much isnt good for them but most of the things I get are clothes or things we can do together such as art supplies or games we can play.  Jay just isnt a great person to shop with women period.  He gets easily bored if its not something he wants to look at and I absolutly hate it when I am just looking at something and he says"we dont need that".  First off I didnt say I was going to buy it and second dont tell me what I do or dont need.  I got enough of that with my ex husband. Today was pretty mellow though.

 

As soon as I walked in the door from getting off the bus I had to turn right back around and go to the grocery store, 4 stores to be exact,drop off movies and go to the smoke shop and then the 2 grocery stores.  I try to get only whats on sale at each store so lots of times I have to go to more then one store and it never fails once I get home and start cooking I always am missing one more thing!! Jay had to go in to work so I got to run errands.  So got back from the stores and then walked over to pick up moms dirty laundry and after getting back home yet again I started wash while I cooked Jay dinner and put the groceries away.  I finally got something to eat around 7 since most times I dont eat what I am

making Jay and I cant sit down and enjoy a meal unless I have my chores done or in progress.  I guess I do have a major problem with just relaxing.  There's always one more thing to be done and with as much running around as I do I never have things the way I want them to be.

 

I get really depressed when my house is a mess,feel so unsettled and the really heavy cleaning has gotten out of hand but I just cant do it anymore it hurts too much not to mention its dangeroous with my balance on a ladder for cleaning walls and ceilings(we smoke and the grime grosses me out).  Jay doesnt seem too concerned about any of it either.  Its like he could leave a pair of dirty socks on the floor for weeks and never notice.  I even have on purpose taken a pop cap or crumpled piece of paper and threw it on the floor and left it there and weeks have gone by and Jay walks right past it or over it and doesnt pick it up. Yet,he tells me when he lived alone that his house was always clean,somehow I dont beleive that lol.  He does help more then he was but not near as much as he did before I got so sick.  Its like the novelty wore off.  But I cant live with the garbage overflowing or an inch of dust on the furniture,for one thing I seem to feel sicker if it does pile up like I am allergic to so many things now like dust and smoke even though I smoke I can't handle having no fresh air at all times in the house.

 

Tomorrow I meet with my daughter at 10 am.  She is coming earlier so she can get home sooner.  I already told her that if she wants to grocery shop I am not hauling her stuff back to my moms nor loading up the bus for her.  The tuesdays I spend with her and the kids have gotten to be more of a dreaded thing then a happy one and that needs to change with so much running around.  If she has that many things to get done then she needs to make more then one trip a week cause its killen me.  Well I suppose I should get off this chair and go to bed.  Still have lots of swelling in my legs,all the way up past my knee's today!!! and need to put them up way more often.  This is not good specialy in my family with a history of phlebitis and blood clots.  Gotta go take care everyone

 

Hug's,

Karen

I was going to get a magic eraser at the store today, but I forgot! ha ha