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Fibromyalgia
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Posted 9/1/2008 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
For seven years, I have had chronic intractible pain. During these seven
years, my life has completely changed. No Friends. No house. No job.
No art. No wrting. No trips. No vacations. No exercise. Grown up kids don't care much
for me. I'm not a good Grandmother. Can't even pick up my kids.
I'm always in pain. I don't act angry or cranky. I just sit quietly. It's like
my personality left me. I used to be very different. I'll bet it's kind of the
same story with all of you.
I have a whole long list of ailments. Which is it that puts me in so much
pain: Scoliosis? Fibromyalgia? Myofascial Pain? Arthritis DDD (all levels)
God? Is this God's way to make you aware of the wonderful gift of health that you were
born with
Pamela Neckpain
I would love to hear from you.
Posted 9/1/2008 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
Pamela, I would imagine it is the arthritis and bulging disks that is causing you the most pain.  I have had back problems for many years and it is severe.  Fibromyalgia pain is severe in a flare but usually can be controlled with pain killers.  But, you are never without pain.  Also, it is not God.  He only wants the best for you.  He did not "give" this to you.

 

When I'm in a flare and my back is bothering me, too, I can't pick up much of anything.  Actually, just bending over is horrible.  But, I don't have the disk problem and I don't think I have arthritis in my spine.  I do have scoliosis and that causes some problems for me.  But, I find the gentle stretching exercises that are in the Fibro 101 thread really work and help to loosen me up.  You might want to try that.  Also, walking is so good for you.  I'm not saying you should be power walking for 5 miles.  I'm talking about taking a walk around your neighborhood.  It gets the blood flowing and feeding the muscles.  It gets you out in the fresh air and sunshine and you can see a lot of beauty, if you will just look.  I feel better after a walk.  With fibromyalgia, it is important to keep moving or you will become stiff as a board.

 

Just wondering...why "no art, no writing"?  I don't understand why you can't do those things.  Is this the choice you are making because you are uncomfortable?  Right now my fingers are hurting as I type this.  If I close my hand, my fingers "freeze" in place and they pop when I try opening my hands again.  One finger I have to stretch out manually.  I'm uncomfortable sitting here writing this to you, but I chose to live my life and not let fibromyalgia take over.  You can work around problems that are preventing you from doing things.  It's amazing what the human spirit can do if we put our mind to it!

 

Why don't you call a friend or acquaintance and touch base with them.  Let them know that they have been on your mind and you want to see how they are doing.  You could make arrangements to meet for lunch.  You need to start reaching out.  Healthy people get very busy with their lives and you get left behind.  You don't have to let that happen.  You can choose the people that you like to be around and that inspire you and rekindle the friendships.  It's not that difficult.  But, I wouldn't talk about illness and how you feel.  People really don't want to know...mainly because they don't have a clue as how to help you and that puts them out of control.  Who can blame them?  The doctors don't even know how to help us.  BUT, you do need to start having some fun in your life.  You do not want to become a recluse, staring at walls for the rest of your life.  Please give this a try.  I think you will be happily surprised.  Feel better.

 

Sherrine

Posted 9/1/2008 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
Pamela, I think Sherrine gave you the best advice.  I agree with her 100%.  You can't just give up and be a recluse.  If you don't get out and move around the pain is going to seem worse.

 

I also agree that God didn't do this to you.  Ask him for strength to see you through each day.

 

I hope the people on this forum can help you.  Keep in touch.  When I'm really hurting or exhausted, I can log onto this site and it makes me feel better to hear from everyone else that is sharing my pain and exhaustion.

 

God Bless!

Shannon

Posted 9/1/2008 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Pamela you sound so sad. Is it the pain or depression that is stopping you from enjoying life??? If it is the pain you need to work with your doc on better pain control. Perhaps you need to be on an anti-depressant to help with the depression. Please turn all the negative talk your telling yourself into positive talk, it really does have an affect on you. I have learned over the years I can be a positive thinker or a negative thinker, it's all up to me and I chose to be a positive thinker. How we talk and think about ourselves has an affect on our brain chemicals.

 

I know you hurt. The osteoarthritis is getting so bad in my hands it is scary at times. Our hands are so important to us and have so many jobs to do. Right now I can use them and I'm not going to project myself into the future and what might happen or I would drive myself crazy.

 

You know we are always here for you when you need to vent and talk.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Posted 9/1/2008 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pamela,
Bless your heart. You sound so miserable. You have just described several of the criteria for a major despressive episode. I'm so glad you are desperate enough to reach out. When you are in it, it can feel so hopeless and endless and life can be well, pointless. This may be the worst you've ever felt emotionally, if you are not totally numb. Pamela, you can come out of this and enjoy life again and it is worth the effort. There are people who love you and miss the old Pamela. Your grandchildren are missing out on the joys only a grandma can bring. Anti-depressants are not the only treatment for depression but they are the quickest. What have you tried in the past? What has worked for you? also, long term use of methadone can cause serious depression. I want you to do a little exercise with me. Think back in your life to a time when you were truly happy, when you felt joy. What was happening then? What do you remember? Who was with you? What was the weather like? What were your surrondings? Do you remember what that happiness felt like? How did it feel deep inside? Hold that feeling Pamela. That is your new goal. Cling to that image you have conjured up in your mind. You are that person. You are not depression. Depression can be treated and you can come back and have friends and do art and write and it will be so worth it. Call your doctor TODAY to discuss anti-depressant medication. I know it's Labor Day. Call the afterhours number or even a hotline if you need to. I care about you Pamela. I haven't met you and don't know you but I care. I wish I could see your art and read your writing. It's natural to question and doubt God when you feel the way you do. I'm not sure which scripture passage to recommend but there are many in the Bible about joy during times of suffering. You can talk to God about your doubts and ask Him to make your path straight and lead you in the ways you are to go. Keep posting here so we will know how you are doing.
Holly
Romans 8: 28
Posted 9/1/2008 3:59 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Pam and Welcome-

I have arthritis in my neck and it can get VERY painful and have had chronic pain for as long as I can remember. I was just diagnosed with fibro this past spring and when it hit it was horrendous. My neck acted up at the same time and the pain brought me to my knees and many tears!!! The worse is over and with the help of this group I have started to enjoy life again.

I'm going to bet your a good grandma also- you may not be able to pick them up but there are other things you can do with them. I got many good ideas from the members and the moderators by either reading posts or asking. My granddaughter was here yesterday while my son went golfing and we had so much fun! We played Hi Ho Cherry-O, Mickey Mouse Bingo, drew on big sheets of art paper, watched her Princess DVD, snuggled and just enjoyed quality time together. When she asks to be picked up we tell her Grandma has a bad back and she is OK with this. I do pick her up once in a great while but I'm very careful.

It does not look like you are on an anti-depressant. I'm taking Zoloft and would not be without it. It is like night and day.

We do understand and it was nice to meet you- let us know how your doing. GamJill

Posted 9/1/2008 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
You women are helpful with your words. Thank you.
I have given up my activities and my friends because I can only keep my head up for a couple of hours.
At that point, the pain is unbearable. There is not a certain time of day I can depend on.
I can't take walks. Neck is too weak. Scoliosis and Arthritis have hit it hard.
I have tried every exercise, every antidepressant (The only thing I got from anti-depressants was chronic
diarrhea. : -/.)
I do use the Forum, but I was writing a column for the paper. And also working on a book. 15 minutes is a long
as I can sit.
(Not much money in writing on a Forum : D )
Painting takes up my "good" time. I prefer to take a shower, dress, and put on makeup.
You have given me invaluable feedback. Now I kinda understand why other people don't understand when I
say I have Chronic Pain.
I thought my way was the the way for others.
I'm not particularly depressed. I don't dare go to that dark place.
I lived in a retirement home for awhile so I could have company. Everybody there was about 30 years older than
me. (Now, I tell you, THAT was depressing)
I have somewhat adjusted to my way of life. My husband and I are close. So I'm not a total recluse. Perhaps
we are becoming reclusive together?
Pamela
I hope I have shown you the way pain CAN be. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I fight that!!

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 9/1/2008 4:22:48 PM (GMT-6)

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