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I was having such a good day, then my Fibro made me go home......

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Posted 12/10/2008 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
As some of you know, I had major surgery 5 weeks ago.  A hysterectomy.  Today, I was feeling well enough to go to the mall and shop!  Yeah, crazy huh...  I got to the mall, found a great parking spot, and spent an hour just walking slowly, window shopping and enjoying the fact that I was out and about and feeling really good.  Then all my happiness was dashed.  The Fibro in my feet got going, then it hit my head and I got the dizzies and the fatigue.  I had to cut my outing short.  All because of my Fibro.  Not my surgery, but my Fibro.  It really loves to ruin a good time doesn't it? I can't believe I'm going to be dealing with this the rest of my life.  It's defeating.... I want to be so elated about the success of my hysterectomy and all the freedom and wellness I'm experiencing already because of it.  But that freedom and wellness is stopped short because of my Fibro and Lupus.  I'm just trying to better my quality of life.  It always feels like one step forward, two steps back.  I just needed to share and get these feelings out.  Have a cry.  Thanks for reading,

 

Ginny

Posted 12/10/2008 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
This is a story that I'm sure so many of us can resonate with. I don't know what else to say. Other than....I hear ya sister!
It's all about knowing yourself, I think. I always get fooled by the way I feel (in the mornings) - as though this is the way I'll feel all day. When I should just know that what are normal activities to someone else will eventually bring great fatigue and pain to me. Optimism is my worst quality sometimes.

I hope you're feeling better soon, ginny...
Posted 12/11/2008 12:03 AM (GMT 0)
Ms. Ginny, I am proud of you for going out and walking in the mall. This is exactly what I did as my first outing after my big H. I understand what you are saying about the new limits that lupus and FM present. I hope you can see your outing in a different way- Instead of looking at it as a move backward, see it as the success it was :) You got up, made a decision, got ready, and went! Its not about how long you were out, its about the fact that you WERE out and being active. You can do it again tomorrow- if not the mall, a library, a museum. Each time you do this, write it in your diary or journal- list where you went, how long you were active, how you felt while out, and how you felt once home and later in the day. Do this for a week or so, each time you are out and also when you are active while at home. You will see tangible positive improvement. Keep you chin up and go for it!
Posted 12/11/2008 4:18 AM (GMT 0)

Thank you both for your encouraging messages.  I really appreciate you guys. I'm having such a hard time understanding why, for so many years my fibro was a non-issue. All I had were the tender points.  Nothing else. Nothing!  Then I had a medical crisis the summer of '07, and I've never been the same since.  My Fibro woke up and became a terror. Overnight.  From nothing, to something hideous.  I'm really having a horrible time adjusting to this. My lupus is so quiet.  Thank the good Lord for that.

I will take each day as a step forward and realize that I am succeeding every day. Every day that I can get up, get showered, dressed, make up on, and out the door is a triumph. I'll do my best to keep that positive attitude.   smilewinkgrin

Thank you so much. 

Love

Ginny

Posted 12/11/2008 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Ginny- thats the spirit! You can do it- and remember that icky hours and even days sometimes will arrive- but I have learned to remind myself that it just THAT hour, not every hour, peace will come, better hours are around the corner. Don't beat yourself up when you feel weak. Just think toward the balance you want. Let me share something with you that I read last week- A writer was comparing life's challenges to a tree's growth. "Good timber is not easy to grow. A stronger wind means a stronger tree." Keep posting and let us know how you are.
Posted 12/11/2008 12:57 PM (GMT 0)
ginny,

my fibro was the same way-so quiet for such a long time with nothing but tender points! i think my last c-section is really what sent me spiraling down..

i know how hard it is to feel great, get going, and then crash and burn way too fast. i have to say, though, that you do have the greatest attitude-you're an inspiration!

i hope you're feeling a bit better today.

{{hugs}}
~danielle
Posted 12/11/2008 3:42 PM (GMT 0)

Oh ginny-

I know it's disappointing to have your outing cut short by fibro. Just do the best you can for that day- I too have gone shopping and had to stop because my feet start to go numb and my legs start feeling like lead and the fatigue sets in. I just listen to my body every day and when it's done, I tell myself, well thats enough for today! We are so used to being able to do everything and have no limitations- I was a little tornado and could do it all. It has been quite an adjustment, hasn't it?  sad  

GamJill 

Posted 12/11/2008 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Oh you ladies have the most encouraging attitudes about all this.  I'm awestruck to be honest.  I am so angry at this disorder.  I know I'm going through a grieving process. I'm in the anger stage.  I have so much I want to do, and see, and experience.  If it isn't my Lupus holding me back it's the Fibro. 

 

I am a very spiritual person.  I lean on God and my relationship with Jesus Christ.  I know that being weak is what I need to be sometimes.  It's just so hard to do when I want to be strong!

 

Thank you for all your support.  This forum really is an amazing place.  And you all are incredible. 

 

Lots of love

Ginny

Posted 12/12/2008 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Ginny, I'm so sorry you had a hard time. But like the others said, being able to go out was a huge accomplishment! It will hopefully get easier. You might have bad days, but you have to take advantage of the good ones.

I'm going through a greaving process too, I was thinking about it in the same way. I'm angry, I think I'm over the denial, but self pity came in. And that sucks! But that's where this forum is so great to help keep us focused on the good things in life.

Take care, and let us know how you are doing!
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