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How do you learn to cope??

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Posted 12/26/2008 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
I am still having a lot of problems dealing with my fibro. I feel so frustrated, especially this time of year. Everything is so hectic, so busy. I used to be able to deal with it, and now I can't. Everything is so hard. I can't cope with all of this.

Tonight, I was unwrapping the last of my son's presents, and I sat up and little and fell over and hit our night stand on my left side. My hip and elbow took the worst of it. It just added to the pain that I am already in. I know I should take some meds, but I can't seem to bring myself to take them for some reason.

How do I learn to cope with having fibro and living my life? I feel like fibro runs my life, and it is tearing me apart. I just don't know what to do about it. I wish that things would go back to the way they used to be. I am so tired of being tired and in pain all the time.

Posted 12/26/2008 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
Merry Christmas,Tiki

 

I am so feeling for you right now, i wish i could just wrap my arms around you and we could cry together, until we just got it all out and then we could pick ourself up and start another day. nothing would change but it sure helps to cry sometimes.

 

I have been feeling the same way as you and yes this fibro does most of the time if not always runs your life at least mine.  I know that there is nothing i can do to change it so i for one take my meds, i find that if I do take them on time it does keep me more even, and when my day is worse i try to hit the bed early in the evening, more rest helps.

 

I am Blessed with a husband that knows when iam in more pain than usual and he makes me take it easy, he reads my signs better than i do.lol.

 

Coping with pain is bad enough when it is for a short time, but when you have it day after day like us we will find ourself giving into it on somedays don`t let it get you down, it is OK i am sure everyone here does it from time to time. The only way any of us can cope is one day at a time and the best way is doing it with people here who know what it is like to want to scream WHY ME, or to vent because we have family members who don`t know what pain is, so they think you don`t either.

 

Yes it is not easy but you will do it just like all of us and we will do together. wink

Posted 12/26/2008 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tiki,

Mamakitty is right, we have to take life one day at a time. That is really all we can do. Sometimes one minute at a time. And learn to accept that we have limitations and sometimes tough days. If you do have pain meds to take, it is better to take them when prescribed. If you wait until you are in pain, then it is that much harder for them to work. I don't know what kind of meds that you are prescribed, but follow your doctor's orders.

The holidays have been hard, but they are almost over. We have New Years to get through, but that is much easier than what we have just been through. I think the hard part is actually the empty feeling that we all get when it is all over with. We have to fight from getting depressed. But we all have eachother to lean on so we will get through it together.

Bless you,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/26/2008 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tiki and huge, gentle hugs!

Agreeing with above...this is a tough life to live but it can also be a very good life if you are willing to learn and accept it. There is the problem...accepting this misery. How do you accept pain and uncertainty? How do you accept your life never being the same again? How do you accept fibro? I wish I had a magic answer but all I can offer is my experience and love.

The more you fight fibro the more it fights back. Learn to limit what and when you do things. I tend to make lists and portion out what I need to get done. It does help. Also, ask for help. This is likely the hardest for me. And be willing to try some of the suggestions your doctor has for you, as long as they are reasonable. Gentle exercise, warmth, and maybe some meds. I do pretty good on the warmth and meds but as far as the exercise goes...it's the gentle part I have problems with. I usually tear around here like a fool and pay for it later. That's what I need to work on. It does really help.

We are here to travel this path with you. Take my hand (extending hand) and we'll make it together...ok?

Loves,
Chutzie
Posted 12/26/2008 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Tiki!  You have gotten some great advice here.  All I can say is we all go through periods like this.  The bottom line is you do have to accept the fact that you have fibro.  You don't have any other choice but to accept it.  Then you can face it head on and control it, instead of it controlling you. 

 

There are ways of working around fibro obstacles and still living your life the way you want to.  As you focus on living your life the pain will fade some in the background.  But if you are always thinking about how much pain you are in or how tired you are, you are bringing that negative stuff to the forefront and that will do nothing but make you more miserable and depressed.  You won't get anything accomplished and you will probably cry a lot.  Instead, plan some fun things.  Pace yourself, etc.  You will be quite surprised and happy what you CAN do with fibro!

 

Life is full of challenges.  Fibro is our challenge.  I saw a story this morning about a young woman who was born with no arms!  That is her challenge.  And you know what she has done?  Instead of dwelling on that fact and being sad, depressed, and miserable, she has taken the challenge of living her life in the condition she is in.  It showed her putting in her contact lenses with her feet!  She also plays the piano with her feet and she just got her pilot's license...flying a plane with her feet! 

 

You see, we have the ability within us to find a way around our challenges and overcome them.  So, give it a try.  Accept fibromyalgia as your challenge in life, take control of it, and enjoy the wonderful life ahead of you.

 

Sherrine

Posted 12/26/2008 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
I feel for you, Tiki, I really do.

I am having the hardest time dealing with everything. It's so much to swallow. (I was only diagnosed a little bit ago). That is why I joined this forum, I felt I needed support from others, which is what I will also give to you...

So lets work together and take one day at a time like everyone here said to do.. and try (even though it's so so HARD) to make the best out of our situation.

And I have to thank Sherrine too for her advice on the matter, saying to control IT instead of letting IT control you... that is what my husband tells me all the time (in those EXACT words) when I get down about it.. And now that I have heard it out of someone else's mouth also, maybe it's time I take that advice!!! And you, Tiki, can too!

I am here for you, Tiki...

xoxo
Posted 12/26/2008 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
I wrote a paper in university about coping. There are essentially two ways to cope; verbalise, ie. talk it through with someone or if this is more your style; complain. The other option is to take action. Studies show that although both methods reduce anxiety, taking action can sometimes solve the problem. For example, some people stay quite active, swimming, gentle exercising, walking, etc. Also they find the most bothersome symptom of all and work on totally eliminating it. I, for example have found the meds which take away the pain about 75% of the time. Somedays they don't do anything. I have learned to take frequent rest breaks throughout the day, between activities. That helps. As does heat. You will find your way through if you stay with us and keep trucking.
Posted 12/26/2008 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Ms Tiki! You have gotten some greart advice here and now lets focus on getting you stabilized right now. If you haven't taken your meds, do so now. Have a cup of something warm- if I were there with you, I would give you warm chicken broth. The salt in the broth plus the warmth would help the meds in your system get going quicker. If this crisis has passed for you at this point and I hope it has, remember this for the next one that hits. As soon as you begin to feel the extreme pain hit, remember warm liquids with either sugar or salt; meds; and just a small amount of time alone. Don't forget to breathe a few times. A few moments alone will help you regain a little calm. It won't always be this tough; you are learning to cope every day. This icky day has taught you something you needed to know, and the next time won't be as tough because today you learned you CAN handle it and have some tools to deal with it well. Let us know how you aren doing when you are up to it.
Posted 12/26/2008 10:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there, I cant believe this, I thought I was going through this major depressive episode, i have been crying and breaking down, and feeling like im gonna snap, and soo sooo irritable, i just want to stay in bed and do nothing but sleep. My poor daughter, she must think Im the biggest meanest mama ever! She just said to me "mommy, its almost night time, and you stayed in your jammies all day" It sucks, i just cant seem to get out of this slump that I am in.
Although, it might have something to do with, my new doctor taking me off of lithium, which i have been on for 2 or so years, he took me off because he thought it might have something to do with what is going on with my stomach and intestines. I can already feel the affects of not being on it, as it is a mood stabilizer,. He suggested I go on flexeril, he said it will help to relax me, and help with the pain,and other things, but also after he writes a letter, wants me to go on cymbalta, it isnt covered so he has to talk to someone sweet, to get it covered.
I dont know whats wrong with me, im just sooo sore, and i can hardly move, and i dont even want to move, yanno, I guess I just havent been this bad in a while, and its all kind of a bit of a shock, and for some reason, I think that I need a reason to feel this way.............
Thanks everybody, I hope that everybody had a safe and wonderful holiday!!!
take care
kelly
Posted 12/27/2008 1:34 AM (GMT 0)

I put one foot infront of the other and literally take it a step at a time. i use my meds and try to stay as relaxed as possible. when it gets too much, i get extra stubborn and just get more determined to not let the pain and fatigue beat me.

sounds easier than it is. Maz XX

Posted 12/27/2008 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
On me you just take what Mazfire said and its the same here.

LOL, see, I can write something that isn't 5000 words.
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