a question for all who have been/are currently on narcotics

So, I have been regular ultram for about 5 months now. I take 4 a day, well today I was put on UltramER which is so far from what I used to feel like just taking Ultram. I know I am going to sound like a total junkie right now, but my brain feels sad that it is not getting that "stoned" sensation anymore. I am not sad, I knew I was getting addicted and if I would run out before a dr appointment I would flip into a addicted frenzy, scaring my husband,even scaring myself. It's like my mind took over and it kept telling me "give me these drugs, I need these drugs". It really was a mind over matter for me. And now that I was taking UltramER, I feel pretty normal and I am happy that I am not all stoned and loopey, but I can't help but sort of miss the way it made me feel. I really do feel like my mind is sad. Is that crazy????I kind of liked the person I was on just Ultram. I was chatty,pain free,funny, care free. and now that I am taking ultram ER I feel like "why can't I just be that way normally???"



what are your thoughts? Anyone had similar feelings? I know I totally sound like a junkie, I didn't realize what I was doing to myself.