Sick of Martyrs

Well I know that you can't be sick of me, because I am not a martyr.  Though there might be a couple of people who may be offended by your topic of your post.  I am not one. 

Fibro still gets the best of me.  Even with medications that do help.  It still sneaks up on me and raises it wicked head.  I do agree that some people don't' have the pain others do, and there are some that have a high pain threshold, as I do.  I can take a lot of pain.  But should I have to?  I can't on the other hand handle the fatigue.  But then you get people who go to er even over a broken fingernail.  Some just can't tolerate the pain at all.  So everybody is different.  And nobody really does know what the other has to endure with this darn disorder.  So being we all have something in common, we still can't compare ourselves to eachother.  Because we honestly don't know what the next person is feeling.  We can't read their pain.

But we do know our own pain.  We know our limitations.  We know what we are stuck with for most likely the rest of our lives.  So don't let these posts cause you to feel bad.  I don't think anyone intended anybody else to feel defensive or hurt.  Like you say, their pain might not be as bad as yours.  They don't know, and neither do you.  Therefore, we can't compair ones pain to anothers. 

I am sorry that you have it so bad.  I use to.  I slept for two years.  That is how I put it, I was in bed for two years listening to life go by through the bedroom window.  I couldn't stand for any length of time.  I had to lean on everything.  I couldn't go anywhere, couldn't talk to people, too tired. 

The doctor finally put me on adderall.  It has saved me.  I can get out of the house now and even go shopping by myself.  So things are better than they were.  Plus I got something for pain.  That helps too.  I still have pain, but nothing like I did before.  I still can't work, I suffer from depression along with the fibro.  But I am a lot better than I was.

Do you have any medications to help you?  What is the norspan patch?  Does it help with pain?  It sounds like you could use something for fatigue too.

I guess I have rambled on enough.  I hope that you feel better soon and that you stay feeling better.

Hugs, Karen

Good Morning Sue.

I did NOT find your post offence at all...just honest.  I have felt like you do many many times, other times I get ticked off with all of the negativity here. It's the constant debilitating pain coming through.  I see you have a form of arthritis like alot of us here, and I think that it gets really complicated when we have other serious issues to go along with the fibro.  Some days..or nights..I am exactly like you put it...going to the bathroom is a horribly painful experience when you cant walk.  And yes...some of us DO have to plan our lives around these afflictions when there are many.  For me, I can wake up in minimal pain..but have it worsen as the day goes on.  There are times it makes planning on hanging out with my kids and grandkids impossible by days end...because I already know that the drive to town and back will leave me crippled with pain for the remainder of the day. Meals are another story...very much as you described it.

I agree with many here who explain that everyone is at different stages of thier illnesses, and when we are having a bad day, it can be impossible to read posts that dont even touch on what we are going through that particular week/month etc

I dont think you should need worry about posting how you feel.  If you are frustrated, or angry/sad and vent about it, there should be no reprimand for being honest.  I for one admire you for that.

Just wanted to put in my 2 cents worth, and give everyone here a healing hug and a God Bless.

Diane  

I am a Martyr.

It is impossible to compare the level of effect that each of us endures from FM. We are so different in many ways. I, like Kerri, enjoy the positive "You can do anything" posts. I am a young, strong, man and realize that my level of resistance is still much higher than those who have endured for a longer period of time than I have. I salute you for your courage, but I will still push others to maximize their potential despite their pain and fatigue.

We Martyr's need to sound off just as much as those who are struggling. It is our way to encourage ourselves and each other.

For "me" I have to try to see the positive in my life. I also suffer from depression and I know myself pretty good at this stage in life and I know I have to look at the positive to keep the depression from taking me down. I know the one thing I still have control over is my thoughts.

When I read post from people who have a lot more energy than I do I'm a little envious of them but on the other hand I know I don't have the pain that many others do and I'm sure there are those that are a little envious of that. Fibro is a whacky disorder that affects each person differently and we have to accept that on here. I feel sorry for those when they are going through a bad flare and I'm happy for those that are having a good streak. We support each other no matter how they are feeling or where they are mentally.

luv and hugs

Marlee

That post actually bothered me for a couple of days; then I realized that the only person judging me was ME!  If there are people who can lead much more active lives than I, then more power to them.  I'm sure some people look at me and wish they could be as active as I am.

It's so hard when you feel so bad not to take offense when you FEEL criticized for not handling your illness as well as others.  It was only after I read this post that I realized that no criticism was intended nor implied. I'm just really sensitive to what I've had to give up due to my health problems.

I realized that those "go-getters"   in the previous post weren't criticizing those of us who are having a really difficult time right now; they were just really trying to stay positive for their own sakes.

I had a friend who died from  cancer a few years ago.  She once told me that some days all God had planned for her that day was just to get out of bed, and she was proud of herself for doing whatever she could, even if it seemed really insignificant.

Sue, if all you are able to do is get out of bed on some days and move to the sofa, then that is an accomplishment.  Getting on the computer and sharing your feelings with others in the same boat is an accomplishment.  Please don't apologize for expressing you feelings.  You actually helped me come to terms with some of my own.

Very Soft Gentle Hugs to All - Austen

 (post edited due to brain fog)

Well, I guess the consensus here is that pain is subjective, both mentally and physically.  I have been very fortunate to have had periods of time when the pain was nothing more than white noise, then times like now when I have had to crawl to a chair.  It is very difficult to be positve when the pain is this bad, so I just isolate myself and don't even try to explain it to my friends who 'don't get it'.

The hubby had two teeth break off at the gum last week, went to the dentist and he sent him home with nothing but a phone number for a root canal specialist.  He was pacing the floor in pain, and when he called for something, the dentist said..."It shouldn't hurt that much...take three Advil"  Subjective.  He had the root canal on one tooth the next day and was in tears when he came home.  Again...'Take a couple of Motrin...the nerve is gone and it will just be 'sore".  He finally took some percocet he had left over from a kidney stone. Everyone's pain threshold is different.

When I thought my dog was going to be put down on Tuesday, a friend called and of course asked why I was crying.  I told her and I knew what her answer was going to be...just what it always is.  "At least you have never lost a child like I have."  This does not help me put things in perspective like I am sure she thinks it will...it makes me feel guilty for mourning the possible loss of an animal.

This forum is so wonderful because we can vent, complain, cry and laugh.  Just having someone say..."I have that too and you'll be alright' is very comforting.  The positive posts are inspiring and those of us who aren't quite there yet have something to look forward too.  But it's okay to be frustrated also, and because so many of us have no where else to vent, it's a relief to know we can always come here.

Huggies

donna

You know, I wasn't always like this.  I did have positive thinking parents so I was around this type of thinking a lot, but my parents were very healthy and lived a terrific life together.  That didn't happen for me.

When I was hit by fibromyalgia I was in excrutiating pain.  Every movable part hurt tremendously and my elbows were hit like I had banged the "funny bone" and I could barely hold a pen, let along take care of my home, three small children, and cook.  I dropped plenty of things, including one whole dinner on the floor because of the pain in my joints.  I also was suffering from Crohn's disease so badly that I was having to run to the bathroom around 25 times a day...with bloody diarrhea.  On top of it all, my husband was suffering greatly from depression and I was trying to hold my family together.  So my life wasn't as positive as my parents.

But, I did have a choice.  I could choose to carry all the anger I had inside or I could let it go and try to make the best of my life.  I, obviously, chose the latter.  I found that positive thinking, along with medication and movement helped to make my life better.  Since that is my experience with this illness and the others that I have, I try to pass it along to others. 

I think I've helped some...at least that's what they tell me.  And, I suppose my positive attitude can be irritating.  That's why there is a "thumbs down" icon on the forum.  If you don't want to read someone's post that irritates you, you can click on that and it ignores those posts. 

I truly hope I wasn't the one that made you so upset.  I spend many hours each day trying to help others on this forum.  We are all suffering from this and many other problems in our lives and the last thing I want to do is make things worse for anyone.  I just try to encourage people and give them some hope.  I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to post your thoughts here.  That's one of the reasons we are on this forum.  Everyone is affected differently and handles their pain differently.  It's good for everyone to voice their thoughts.  That's what a good "family" does!

Sherrine