To Go or Not To Go

Hi Friends,

I don't post often but read constantly and answer your topics as best I can.

Well, I need your advice. In 2 weeks Husbands children are coming to Disney and we are suppose to meet them there for the weekend. By now many of you know me and I realize I am not a critical person. BUT, his grandchildren and children for that matter are extremely hard to cope with. The grandboys, all 4, are ill mannered and just plain obnoxious. The parents NEVER correct them and God forbid my Husband says word one. His children do not believe I have a disorder, having been a major tennis player and very athletic. They think I am just saying this for sympathy b/c "my game" is over. Nothing could be further from the truth but I don't need to tell you guys this.

Now I do not have grandchildren of my own so Husband has become quite defensive. Actually almost all of our problems in our marriage stem from his children and his total "overlooking" behavior. I honestly feel if he would acknowledge the pain of them I could cope better. I would throttle my one son if he ever disrespected my mate.

To the point, do you feel I should have to go to Disney, it is 2 hours from here, or be able to tell Husband to go alone? He is very stubborn about issues such as this and frankly I am not sure how to handle it.

P.S. I am NOT up to the park scene and the "family" will make a huge deal about this.

So depressed about this, Patsie

Hi Patsie,

If you do go, is there anyway that you can ignore the kids actions? I know how hard it is being around children that don't mind whatsoever. It makes me nervous. But I tell myself that they are not my children and try to ignore them.

It sounds like it would be a long car ride for you to go. That is hard on me too.

Just remember that nobody can make you do something that you don't want to do. And as was posted above, maybe your husband doesn't realize how much discomfort that you are in and doesn't feel right going without you. Make sure though that you don't really want to go before you make that decision. Doing things with family is important and there can be some prescious memories there. And don't forget the camera if you do good. Pictures are wonderful.

If you tell him to go without you, make sure that you are sure that you are going to be okay with that. That way you wont feel like you are missing out on anything. Maybe you can find some relaxing things to do while he is gone.

Either way, I hope that you enjoy yourself. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

Hugs, Karen

Oh ((Patsie))

Family politics are the absolute worst!!!  Acck!!  Hate these problems.  And trust me girlfriend.. I've got plenty of them.

I decided in this life  ..( lol.. feel like I've lived more than one lifetime in this body), I was going to make it abundantly clear that I am NOT a kid person.  Going to ball games and ballots are not my cup of tea, neither is going to a theme park with a bunch of obnoxious brats.  I know that sounds a bit cold, but its the truth.  I don't like to be around kids too much.  Even when I was a kid I felt that way.  Its just the way I am.

Disney alone is excruciating enough without the kids!!!  I had to go there alot back in my pagent days.. hated it!!  Too much walking and noise.  I don't like rides and I would rather have a root canal than stand in lines with crowds of people in the hot sun.  LOL.... Have I talked you out of it yet??  Have I given you your amo for your argument with your husband?  Do you think HE really wants to go??  I'm sure you guys have been there tons of times since you live nearby.  Maybe he wants you to go because he doesn't want to go so much either.. watta ya think? 

If that doesn't work, then why don't you tell him you think you'll need to rent one of those scooter thingos, because you don't know if you can walk all that much... maybe he'll get it then.

Its getting close to my bedtime.. I'm gonna go sleep on this problem and see if I can "dream" something else up.  Till then, I sure hope you can fanagle your way out of this one.  I know you've been on entertaining overload lately. 

Hugs Buddy.. 

OK.. well, I tried sleeping on it.  Didn't sleep well though, this stupid thing with my eye is getting really out of control.... very painful.  When I woke up my eye (you know the area where the bags under your eyes live), was extremely swollen, its sticking out as far as my nose (I'm NOT kidding).  I can hardly see out of that eye.

I really didn't come up with anything that was brilliant.  Sorry, Sweetie.  But I think if you DO go, you should keep your distance.  If you don't go, I think it's important that hubby understands that the combo of noise, needy kids and all of the walking around is more than you can take right now.

I know how hard it is to have family that really makes you crazy, but you have to make believe that you like them.  When they don't get it when it comes to the fibro thing it only makes things worse.

Wish I could've been more helpful.  Sorry you're bummed out about this and I don't blame you a bit for feeling really conflicted about it.

Hugs..

Patsie,

Sometimes we have to "suck it up" and take one for the team. This is an important FAMILY outing for your husband and will cause unneccesary Ill will if you do not attend.

I understand your reluctance and hope you find the strength to make it through unscathed... :)

Say hi to mickey for me!!
My wife and I LOVE going to WDW and she has been itching for another return visit...... I hope that you have an opportunity to get some time without the grandkids and can enjoy the park for a while. Maybe invest in some Walkie talkies so that you can find an excuse to venture off for a little while.....

Doesn't sound like fun to me either! It sounds like this means alot to hubby though and I think I would go but I would make sure to take a couple breaks from everyone and go off and see something else. When I go on trips with my family, we will do plenty together, but then if something interests one of us, and not others, we pick a time and where to meet and rendezvous back together. Talk with hubby and tell him you need this in order to get through- I don't think that is asking too much.  

Jill

I think your on to an idea Patsie- fibrofog! What?? We were supposed to meet when!!? Huh?? Really? I forgot. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry we missed you guys- geesh, this dang fibrofog that comes with fibro!!

Jill