Off-topic: My son won't eat and I am at my whit's end!!!

Will he drink carnation instant breakfast, ovaltine or something like that (my four year old nephew eats very little maybe 5 foods all of them junk-he has literally never put a peice of any type of meat in his mouth-he won't eat french fries).
The ovaltine or carnation taste like chocolate milk but offer more in the ways of nutrition and calories.

Hi Sassy!!

OK "daughter"...this little guy is trying to "out-stubborn" you and they are mighty good at it. As a mom and grandma here's what I did when this happened to me. If they will only eat one item like the cheese puff deals then I would agree...take them away. He can scream and refuse to eat all he wants but when you give in he knows he can control the situation. It's amazing how young they become very sly and conniving. One grandson was vicious at that game and would make his mom's life miserable. My doctors told me the same thing too...a child will not starve himself to death. But is sure makes you feel miserable...but it won't last long.

My plan would be....get him some PediaSure...like Ensure but for children. (Ensure would do if you can't find the kids one but not for long term use. The PediaSure is belance for infant/toddler needs) Doc can write a prescription for it if he needs it because it's spendy. He will get all the nutrition he needs plus liquids. My major concern right now would be dehydration. Offer him water in his sippy cup any time he wants it or when he refuses regular food.

Another thought...have you been offering him regular adult food? My 10 month old granddaughter has been eating off the dinner table for about 3-4 months now except things are cut very small and nothing hard like carrots of course. Otherwise she eats people food. It's possible he would like what you are eating.

I would also keep a log of everything he takes in and swallows...food wise that is...lol Then call the doctor frequently and report it. If you are the squeaky wheel you will get the attention you want. If not then ask for a referral to a pediatrician who can help. A few weeks of being stubborn isn't rare, in fact most toddlers go through some of it but if it's too prolonged without taking in plenty of liquids then it IS a reason to be concerned.

Watch the diaper and you'll know if he's low on water. He'll be dry way too long and his BM's will be hard. If he gets constipated or has diarrhea then I'd get him right in.

Feel free to email me. This place is baby central any more. One extra daughter delivered last week, another is due in 6 weeks or so and #1 daughter has a 10 month old. I do love those little guys!

Hugs,
Chutzie (aka Mom) ;-)

Hi...our grand daughter came to visit last summer for three days with her father.  While she was here, she ate three french fries, several pieces of cheese and two bites of a hot dog.  That's it.  I was so upset but her father didn't seemed concerned at all.  He said he had talked to the doctor about it and as long as she drank fluids, not to worry about it.  One of my sons would only eat spaghettio's and pork and beans for over a year when he was about two.  I guess many children go through these phases.  Just offer as many fluids as you can.

Donna

I agree with Chutzie that he is trying to be the controlling person.  I always had nice meals for the kids.  I'm sure you do too.  But, they knew that if they didn't eat their breakfast, there would be nothing offered, but juices, milk, water, etc. until the next meal.  Period.  End of discussion.  If your son is hungry, he will eat.  I would eliminate junk foods altogether.  At his age they just put on weight and are not good for a growing child.  When he does eat, offer fresh fruits and veggies for his snacks. 

He will not allow himself to starve.  If he gets hungry, he'll eat the good foods you offer him.  Also, I remember times when my children weren't in a growing spurt.  They picked at their food.  But, when they were really growing, they ate so much more.

Sherrine

I would not worry. When I reared my children I did my best not to think of term as conniving, stubborn and controlling. From my perspective, Mothering was not being at war with two year olds. I think that your eating disorder is causing you to over react to his non eating phase.

I have done this myself in terms of living with PTSD and even my fibro. Any hint of trauma or pain with my children lead to extreme worry.

I have never had a non eater in my family. However, I always offered a wide variety of food to my children. I breast fed them longer than most mom's do so that my be why I never worried about food.

Since I cannot offer any eating advice I say to try to relax about all of this. His pediatrician will notice if something is wrong.

I just wanted to encourage you to have a positive outlook on your two-year-old's behavior. Think of him as being good and not as being controlling and conniving, please. Those labels can last for life and become self fulfilling prophecies.

Donnaeil

Sassy our first child is the experimental child mine survived and I knew nothing about babies and he is normal surpisingly, well almost normal anyway. He can't stand not having socks on cause I had this thing about children being barefoot in the winter cause my feet would get cold so I assumed their's was cold too. I still can't stand to see a baby or toddler barefoot when it is cold out.

 

My yougest was the one that I thought would starve to death when he was a toddler. He had the energy of the energizer bunny and I couldn't understand how he could have so much energy on what he ate.

 

I hope you feel better after getting so much advice from seasoned mothers and grandmothers.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Hi Sassy,

The behavioral psychology approach:  Ignore him when he refuses to eat and give him lots of praise when he does.  This will work if it is an attention maintained behavior.  It is not that he is necessarily doing it on purpose for attention.  But if he has discovered that you get excited, upset, whatever when he does not eat, he may continue not eating because of this extra attention.  If he stops getting the extra attention, not eating will cease to be rewarding.

He may increase his efforts to not eat, for awhile.  It is extremely important that you do not give in at this time because he will then have learned that this increased effort is what it takes to get the attention and he will start at the new more intense level. 

Good luck.  Kids are smart.  Parents are smarter. 

gentle hugs,

Sue

My 9 year old son wont eat barely at all. I remember when he was a baby and I was trying to introduce foods to him, he would absoutly refuse them. I would cry and he was looking so pale and sickly, so his pediaricain wronte and RX for WIC to keep him on baby formula (since that's all he wanted) till he was 18 months old. By the time he was 18 months he would eat french fries and scarmbled eggs, but thats all. And this has gone on for all his life, I even had to have WIC give him pediasure so he got his nutrietion which had to be RXed by a doctor. Now all he will eat is grape goober sandwiches, plain hamburgers (he only likes the ones I make, I guess everything tastes better when mom makes it), chicken fries from BK, chicken nuggets from McDs and fries, and now he likes very crispy bacon, and cinnamon rolls, and thats ALL, and of course he like butterfingers that he gets only once in a while. One of his past ped decor said it was probably because he felt like he had no control over his life so he controls his food, which made no sense as he runs the home. I'm not married or have no bf, it's just me and him and his sister, so that makes him the man of the house, and he's darn proud of it. I know I was a picky eater too. But I remember when he was a baby people would make rude remarks saying I refused to feed him, when I tried so hard to feed him, he just plaine refused, but he baby formula really helped til he was 18 minths old and I just reminded myself that the doctor said it was ok and not to worry, so I didnt. He eventually learned to eat, maybe he's a very picky eater, but he does he ALOT of the few foods he does like.

-hellokitty

My daughter is going through this right now with her 15 mo. old daughter and she has been very worried. She's doing lots of research and it seems to always come back to 1) the child is learning how to control mom (and is doing a great job at it!), and 2) he/she will eat when he's hungry. You can find some good info at babycenter.com (eurybcvbhdjhfrhfjrhfdhh.net/hg57h6458hih857fh587.php)