Those flares, I detest them... they are so so hard.
Don't give up!
Do something just for you today. Seek some company if it helps you to have somebody in the house with you. Or get some more help with a couple of practical things... it's too hard on your own.
I can't do much more than pray for you. You need to TRY and keep your head up high, then we are proud. There are people out here who understand a huge part of what you are going through, and who are not judging you whatsoever. You can do this.
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What's your name? Mine's Marianne.