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What's your motivation/ What's your day like?

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Posted 3/1/2010 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all. I've been struggling a bit lately with trying to get all of the things done around my house and having guilt about not being able to get everything done.

I'm wondering what is your typical day like? What kinds of things do you do? How much are you able to do in a single day? I know we are all different, but I guess I would like to see how "typical" I am.

I was thinking yesterday that 75-95% of all the movements I make are painful. From walking, to using my hands, to raising my arms, etc.

Sometimes when I'm lying in bed (not long enough to get stiff, which is a whole other issue), I become aware that nothing hurts. It would be so easy just to lie there, but, of course, I force myself to get up every day and try to stay active. But, I still feel guilty that I'm not doing "enough."

Just wondering how you get through the day.

Hugs- Austen
Posted 3/1/2010 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, Austen, instead of wondering how typical  you are by how much you can do, how about wondering what "how much" is!  LOL  I think THAT'S what your problem is.  How much is enough or how much is too much! 

 

For me, it depends on how I feel that day.  My body is my guide.  I don't ever feel guilty about all the things I can't get done that day because they will be there tomorrow for me to chip away at.  I also don't feel guilty because I do the very best I can in the body that I have.  So don't beat yourself up over this.

Instead, take joy in what you CAN accomplish!  You probably do more than you realize.  The fact that you get up and get going is wonderful and you should pat yourself on the back for that.  Some days that sure isn't easy but you do it anyway!  Give yourself a gold star instead of questioning yourself. 

 

Just keep moving. You know that's a good thing to do with fibro.   Don't think about how you have pain when you walk or lift your arms.  It's wonderful that you CAN walk and lift your arms!  Some people in this world can't do that.  Just choose something as your goal for the day.  Put a bead on that and go for it!  Focusing on something helps the pain fade in the background somewhat.  If you don't complete it in one day, you will finish it the next.  When you get it accomplished, put a big smile on your face.  You WILL feel better for it. 

 

Do try to set your goals so that you can handle them.  Doing too much will just cause you more pain.  I usually have several things I would like to accomplish but I don't always manage to do them all.  But I take joy in what I do accomplish and I don't worry about what I didn't finish.  It will be there tomorrow. 

Bottom line?  Do the best that your body will allow and take joy and pleasure in the things that  you do accomplish.  Living with fibro can be difficult but we do it daily!  Look forward to tomorrow with anticipation and see what else you can and will accomplish.  Have a wonderful day today, Austen!

Sherrine  

Posted 3/1/2010 4:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Austen, I think all of us from time to time feel some guilt about not getting things done.
Even though we know we aren't the same physically, sometimes we try to perform like
we are and that can be frustrating.

I try to set daily goals according to how I'm feeling. Somedays taking a shower and getting
dressed can seem like a chore. Other days, I can accomplish quite a bit. I have learned to
expect the unexpected. Each day my goal is to be up, showered and dressed by 9:00.
Excercise is a must for me regardless if I'm flaring or not. Walking is my main excercise.
I do stretching excercises before I get up each morning.

Being 57, I have no children at home, its just my husband and I plus 2 cats. No longer
do I work outside the home. Some days I will get together with friends to walk, shop
or go out for lunch. I'm lucky to have friends who are supportive.

Laundry is done in the mornings, shopping after lunch and cleaning mid afternoon. I take
frequent breaks and spend time on the computer, reading, writing or enjoying hobbies.

I prepare dinner, my hubby is home by 5:00 and he always cleans up the kitchen. He also
does all the vacuuming. He is always telling me to rest. I sometimes take on projects that
I enjoy but are tiring. In the past I have done lots of volunteer work, been on numerous
committees, active in neighborhood associations. Now I just do what I can.

I believe I still live a good life, just differant and yes there are days when I do mourn
the loss of my good health, but those days are getting few and far between.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 3/1/2010 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
It takes me a good 20 minutes to get myself up and moving in the morning. I have to slooooooowly move my body, stretch and assess what's working today and what isn't. Then, as Sherrine said, I congratulate myself on what doesn't hurt today and get dressed.

I'm no longer able to reach up over my head, and I have vaulted ceilings throughout my house. So I have a monthly cleaning lady to take care of the heavy (and high) lifting. I'm able to dust using some of the wonderful new products. My hubby does the in-between vaccuuming, but if I had to do it I'd have one of those Dyson ball vacs. They're great.

My daily goals are tiny. Today, my goals are to shower and wash my hair, get to my hearing test and then do my workout at the wellness center. Yesterday my goal was to get the weekly laundry done, and I feel really good that I accomplished that. Sometimes it can take me up to three days.

Sherrine is a wise woman; it's really important to celebrate what you have accomplished rather than dwelling on what you haven't.
Posted 3/1/2010 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
I was feeling the same way. What I do know is make a list of what it is I would like to accomplish for the day. The list can be adjusted to how good or bad you may feel. I know this sounds lame, but believe me when you can cross something off the listit feels good. you have in writing what you did accomplish.
for instance keep it simple. If you are very sick or sore that day keep it short.

this is an example of my lists for a bad day.

take shower
make bed (you would be surprised how rewarding that is)
brush teeth
empty cat box


a better day may look like this

sweep floor
vaccum living room
empty dishwasher
do 2 loads of laundry

I am not sure what your limits are but you get the idea. please give it a try.
it does help me.
Posted 3/1/2010 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
I also wanted to add my goals for today \

I am in moderate pain today. everything hurts to various degrees. I fell asleep with out a fentanyl patch owwwwey... SO will be a light day.
I am still in my pj's will be in them till later,
but I need to do some laundry 2-3 loads would be a good start. This does not mean they need to be all folded and put away, just clean and dry. this is my hardest task by far.
I need to get my son dressed, dont want him to be in my rut
I know I will have a tough support group meeting tonight that I run. NEed to be energized and ready for that.
I need to shower at some point before getting dressed]
clean the cat box.

anything on top of that list is a bonus. I rest for sometimes hours in between.
Posted 3/1/2010 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
This is probably NOT a good day for me to be answering this, LOL. I have been working on things I want to get done in the house this winter and not making much progress. The only way I can work on a special project is to let everything else go cause sure don't have energy to do both. I have spent days in my living room on a family photo gallery and now I'm second guessing the whole project. It was either the family room or living room and I didn't want to get rid of my DH's western stuff in the family room. He tells me over the weekend he would rather I have done away with the western stuff than to put the family pictures in the living room. So here I sit on the computer waiting for my bathroom to get warm so I can take a shower and shampoo my hair cause I am already tired and don't know what to do. By the way, I spent days back in the fall decorating the family room. Right now I'm just venting and not really answering your question Austen. It use to be if I changed my mind about something it was no big deal cause I had all kinds of energy and didn't have to measure everything by the energy it takes to do it.

 

Most of the time fatigue is still my biggest problem. Our weather is changing and having a little warm spell so that has had my head hurting worse the past few days but I can work through the pain most days but not the fatigue.

 

I do laundry as needed, I only had enough dirty clothes for one load of darks today so did those. I do keep up with the laundry no matter what I am doing.

 

On a good day I can pick up, clean off the tables, dust or swiffer and vacuum the floor in the family room, which are hard surface and vacuum the rest of the hard surface floors. Can't mop on the same day though.

 

On a bad day I look around and only do what looks like needs it the most. I do try to do something everyday except maybe on weekends to feel good about myself.

 

My DH does help and cleaned the kitchen this weekend and vacuumed the carpet in our bedroom.

 

Most of the time I am in better spirits and thankful for what I can do instead of what needs to be done. You caught me on a bad day. smilewinkgrin

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Posted 3/1/2010 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
I was actually going to ask something similar. I have 4 kids 10 and under so my house is NEVER clean. I do what I can, when I can. Some days it a load of laundry and nothing else, frozen pizza for dinner. Other days its several loads of laundry, dishes, and something in the crockpot. I am learning to pace myself. I only hurt myself by doing too much one day, because that means the next day I am TOAST! I Try to accomplish SOMETHING and still be smiling by the time my kids get home from school. Not always am I smiling when they go to bed, but c'est la vie (thats life).

I dont know whats more challenging, being set in your ways for 30-40 years and having that torn away or getting a chronic illness in your late 20's early 30's with a young family and figuring out how to cope. I think they BOTH have major challenges, and we can all learn from each other.

Today, I have done a few dishes, and a load of laundry. I also decluttered our fireplace mantle that LOVES to collect junk! LOL Im done for the day, aside from preparing something simple for dinner. BUT, I still have to feed 4 kids, make sure homework gets done, showers, clothes and backpacks for tomorrow and help tuck them in to bed...so my work is far from done. Luckily a HOT bath will be waiting at the end of the evening before I FALL into bed.
Posted 3/1/2010 10:36 PM (GMT 0)
My average day is the alarm going off at 3:30 in the morning, getting up at 4, putting on my boots and going outside and starting
the car so it will warm up. Then I go through the getting dressed, brushing teeth, filling the kerosene heater, shoveling the
driveway and heading out about 4:30 or so. I'm at the bagel shop enjoying my coffee and rye toast (with real butter) at 5, then
off to work at 5:30. I drag the wings meal cart (leftover from the night before) and do a quick floor sweep to bring down empty
racks, carts and leftovers from upstairs (6 floors), put the night befores pots and pans on a cart and it's time to clock in at 6.
I put in a full day doing the dishroom thing (unloading, putting away, racking, etc.) and checking trays for the carts. Clock out
at 2:15 or so and then head to Dunkin Donuts for a much deserved black coffee. Sometimes I go to one of my kids houses or
my best friend's for a while then I head home to get on the computer and check out my sites while I load the laundry in.
Sometimes I'll clean but I usually reserve that for Wednesday (my day off). I'll read for awhile and hit the hay about 8:30.
In the summertime it's basically the same but I come home and mow the grass (2 acres) with my 20" pushmower.
Posted 3/2/2010 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all of the encouragement. Some days are just harder to cope with than others. :)

Soft hugs - Austen
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