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Posted 9/22/2010 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all.

    I am having a really rough time all around. I have been hurting so bad that nothing seems to help, not to mention that my work situation isn't helping one bit. I have a boss that is more less telling me that I am not doing my job, which in as much pain as I am in, I oush through it every day and I DO get everything done. He just more less being an "ass."

    I am a very high strung person and I let things bother me way too much than they should and I usually the only thing that even relaxes me is my bath every evening. Now that isn't even working! I do not know how to relax, even when I try to be alone it still doesn't work because my mind just goes a mile a minute. I've tried exercising and reading. I love to read but then the fibro fog is so bad I have to reread the pages numerous times.

 

 

      Any suggestions on what to do to relax?

 

 

Thanks,

Carley

Posted 9/22/2010 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Carley,

I'm really sorry about your situation. You're being pro-active and smart by looking for ways to deal with the stress. Our reaction to things is more important than the "thing" itself. I can identify with how hard it is to be in the middle of a constant terrible drama - but wanting to find ways to heal in spite of it all.

My favorite thing to suggest is meditation and deep breathing. But, I know that if you're new to it, sometimes it can take a while to get the hang of it.

So ---- I'd suggest you seek out some guided relaxation, guided imagery, or a sort of relaxaation hypnosis recordings that you can listen to. It takes you from 0-60 quickest when you're not used meditating - it guides you along. I got some recordings from my old psychologist. One he recorded himself, the others are by Belleruth Naparstek and Dr. Emmett Miller. Sites: http://belleruthnaparstek.com/ and http://www.drmillerblogs.com/

The above are great ways to start off and end your day - but I wouldn't do them while driving, or working as they may relax you too much for being a safe driver. They will help you to unlock your anxiety and find those moments of peace. Each time you use them, you'll get better at it.

While I'm working during the day - and need to be alert and focussed - I have been listening to some of the recordings of Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, both his Awakened Mind and Alpha Relaxation CDs. (When I go to sleep I use his Sleepy Ocean recording on repeat all night long)

Hope something within these suggestions might click for you.
*hugs*
Posted 9/22/2010 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
You might give yoga a try. Also there is a technique where you tighten each muscle one at a time and then relax them. I took a class for this. When your muscles can relax, then your mind often follows. I also get massages, which are the only thing that ever stops my pain. Diane
Posted 9/22/2010 7:07 PM (GMT 0)
Learning to stay in the moment is very important. It is like meditation, but you do it all the time. It keeps your mind from wandering and you can focus on the things that you are doing. I also agree with the deep breathing, yoga and meditation.

I hope that you can find your way through this and stop the over thinking.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/22/2010 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Carely, I'm a big believer in relaxation therapy too, deep breathing and
meditation. I also find walking a great sress reliever which helps to relax.
Long soaks in a hot bath work also for me. It's all about mind over matter :)

Hugs, Robin
Posted 9/22/2010 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
I really appreciate all the ideas. What is so funny is that I have a CD of Thunderstorms which I love, but unfortunatly it scares the hell out of one of my dogs. I tried to go into my "halloween village" room and turn on all my houses and just relax and watch my houses. It did help a little, but for the love of pete, if my head could just stop thinking of ways to tell off my boss....lol. Don't we all wish!!  I am going to try the deep breathing relaxation, hopefully that helps. I think I am just way beyond high strung...lol! Thanks again for all the ideas!

 

(((Hugs)))

Carley

Posted 9/22/2010 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
I went to a 6 week program for people with arthritis. The lady leading the program suggested this for help with relaxing/falling asleep. Lay on your back and lay your hands on you stomach. Slowly inhale and feel your stomach rise. Then slowly exhale and feel your stomach lower. It sounded so simple that I didn't think it would work for me, but it did. I think paying attention to the rise and fall of your stomach takes your mind off of other things. Maybe this would help you. Good luck.
Posted 9/22/2010 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with your boss. I know relaxation can be difficult for me. I do the deep breathing and meditation and it does help but for me it is a process. I start to relax...and all of a sudden the muscles spaz out so I have to shift and try again. It takes a while but after several attempts...some stretching to adjust the spastic muscles...it finally does work for me. I wish I had a great trick for shutting off my brain...that would be nice.
Posted 9/22/2010 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
.

Somebody said...
What is so funny is that I have a CD of Thunderstorms which I love, but unfortunatly it scares the hell out of one of my dogs

Headphones. cool

Someone mentioned getting relaxed, only to get wound up again. That's normal. Especially normal when you're just starting out. Expect it. The relaxation feeling may only come fleetingly - for seconds at a time - at first. When you get intrusive thoughts, or uncomfortable physically, tell youself something like, "Oh well." Then gently bring yourself back to working on your relaxation. You might get distracted constantly at first - that's normal too. It takes practice. Just like teaching a child, so we have to teach ourselves - ever so gently, bring back the attention where we want it, never get angry about it - it just is what it is. You'll get there.
Posted 10/3/2010 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/


ALL FREE....ENJOY SOME TIME OUT .....HUGS
Posted 10/3/2010 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
Journaling might help too. For years, I simply could not do it...I'd get stuck, couldn't move forward. Now I am able to do it but I think what is helpig me more than anything is psychotherapy. Believe me, it's taken me over 20 years to do this. I just never believed that "fixing" my head would help "fix" the rest of me, but at lesat for me, it is working. Somehow this talk therapy is helping my body to heal. I am now a true believer in mind/body healing. Again, for me, this has helped in so many areas. I have been able to wean off of FIVE prescription meds, one being an antidepressant (I take NONE now) and one being a sleeping pill. The really weird thing is I've always been told that people with FM need the SSRI to elevated serotonin levels and also have a sleep disturbance, so need a sleeping pill. Well, hello! I am using neither and I have never felt better.
The huge thing, the most important thing here is you just have to be ready for this. I could kick myself that I didn't do this 10 or even 20 years ago. My therapist continues to remind me I just wasn't ready. I know it's expensive but most insurance companies now will pay at least some of the cost.
With all the stress you are experiencing now with your job and what it is doing to you mentally, you need an outlet, somewhere to "dump" your feelings.
I wish you well
Miriam
Posted 10/3/2010 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Miriam, I'm so glad that you have found something that is working for you. I
truly believe in the mind-body connection, and have been a believer for awhile
now. I practice deep breathing and meditation on a daily basis. It has helped in
many areas of my life...I am a firm believer that it does reduce pain....it has helped
me put things in perspective. I believe I'm a calmer person. I'm more spiritual.

Journaling is great for getting emotion out and relieving stress. I write poetry, it
is my form of journaling. Attitude does play into how we feel. For me, thinking
positive was something I had to work on...I had to believe things were going to get
better and they did. The biggest thing I have learned is you can have many things
wrong with you and be happy and live a good life...not saying pain free...but
happy.

Hugs, Robin

PS ...I just wanted to make it clear, that it is very normal to have some bad days,

physically and emotionally...we are only human...but there are things that we can

do to help ourselves tongue

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