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Sensitive to Another Person's Touch

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Fibromyalgia
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Posted 11/18/2010 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
Hello

 

It seems I am getting more and more sensitive to being touched. It's not every day, but has been starting to happen more often recently. When someone barely touches me in certain areas of my body it is extremely painful, and my natural response is OWE or OUCH...My husband is starting to say things like: Oh that couldn't have hurt you, I barely touched you, Why is it every time I touch you it hurts? It can't hurt that bad, How you can stand to be massaged, if you hurt that bad? Things like that.

I have tried to explain to him, that we with Fibro are much more sensitive than the ordinary person. I have had numerous discussions with him about it. I have explained it to him till I am blue in the face. It makes me very frustrated, and I know it is very frustrating to him, but I have told him, think how frustrating it is for me, I am the one that has to endure the pain, that I didn't ask to develop Fibromyalgia. But that since I do have it, he needs to become educated and understand the illness. He just says yeah, and goes on about his business. So...I come to the boards with this post, hoping to get some insight on this topic, and to learn if others deal with this same issue, and what they do to help others understand how painful it is to be touched.

 

Thanks

S

Posted 11/18/2010 5:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hi S.
It can be awkward that touching can be so painful for us. Sometimes scratching an itch or a gentle touch can feel like a punch. I explain that with fibro, my body sends pain signals for normally non-painful stimuli. I am glad that there are intermitent breaks and it does not feel like this all of the time.
Sue
Posted 11/18/2010 5:31 AM (GMT 0)
S,

So sorry your hub is insensitive to your pain. You really need to his support.

And yes, I do, at times, have instances where I do not want to be touched. It usually passes by the next day if I just chill and try to find things to help me relax. I personally cannot get a massage when this happens. I find that soothing baths help and I have to really barter how much energy I am exerting. For me, when this happens it usually means I have done too much and need to back off extras. It also happens if my anxiety level is up.

Hope that helps
Posted 11/18/2010 12:52 PM (GMT 0)
Try printing some things off Fibro 101 to help him understand what you are going through.  A couple of suggestions would be Doctors Respond to New York Times Article and A Thorough Explanation of Fibromyalgia.

 

We ARE sensitive to the touch.  My kids would playfully swat my arm and I'd yell because it felt like they slugged me as hard as they could!  I always thought I'd have a terrible bruise because it would hurt in that area for hours but I never got a bruise.  The kids would feel so bad and say they didn't hit me hard. 

 

Even a hug can hurt us.  Your husband needs to become educated about fibro and those two links I suggested would be a good start.  I'm sure, once he has an inkling what you are going through, his compassionate side will come through.  It's just confusing to him right now.

 

Sherrine

Posted 11/18/2010 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi S, I really can relate to how you are feeling, when my husband and I first got married he was into alot of roughhousing wich is something I could not tolerate. I would have to totally get angry with him before he would stop. Then he would get mad because to him it was just playing. It took him a very long time to realize that I can not tolerate his love taps at least thats what he called them. Even now he sometimes forgets but at least now all it takes is a reminder and not a big fight. Hope things get better soon.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 11/18/2010 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
This is my experience:

I was in a similar situation with my husband. It took a lot of patience on my part to get through to both my husband and son, and this was before my recent diagnosis of fibro!

We had to learn to understand each other. Not just them learning about me. This level of pain is a new and developing situation in our family, and requires all of us to adjust to it.

I started by giving my son particular attention after he hurt me with a gentle nudge, or bumping into me by accident, etc.. Letting him know that my pain is exceptional, and not his fault for being a typical 11 year old is crucial to us.

Also, after just shouting "OUCH!!" me saying: "It's OK, you didnt mean it...I am OK too", made a big difference.

Another thing I do after saying "OUCH" is to touch my son, telling him to let me take his hand, or put my hand on his face, and not to touch me back. That one is really special, it lets him know there is no rejection, only some strange circumstance we have to work around somehow.

Crazy as it sounds, I tried the exact same approach with my husband. It works! I realized that it is a simple issue of hurt feelings, not lack of support. My husband was accustomed to getting a positive response to his touch, and now receiving quite the opposite. Giving my husband the same attention as my son, after I felt he was so un-supportive was difficult the first couple of times, but well worth the effort!
Posted 11/20/2010 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the advise of 101 and pointing out articles of interest.
I had already began reading some of the articles...but having these specific ones pointed out was a great big help Thanks a Bunch for going the distance for me.
Makes it a bit easier for me to get answers faster.

Excellent Idea putting articles of interest on that thread strictly for articles and such...Love It...Really Great Articles listed out there.

Thanks Again
S
Posted 11/21/2010 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hi S and welcome to the forum! My hubby is pretty much the same as Shirleys, we went and still do go thru the him getting mad thing. I have printed articles and brought different things to his attention but it hasn't sunk in with him. It can be very frustrating. Good luck with the articles for your hubby.
Posted 11/21/2010 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
I have had the same experience. I have a son who just turned 4 and is very energetic, so he hurts me a lot without meaning to. He doesn't hug me, he barrels into me and throws himself at me. A lot of the time I end up feeling like a bad parent because I will yell, "Ouch!" and startle him, and then he cries. The I hug him and tell him that he has to be gentle with Mommy, but I don't think he gets it. My older kids- girls age 6 & 7. will be rough with me without meaning to also, but then I tell them to be gentle with me and they will.
I just have to tell you a funny story- one time I was in a lot of pain and just feeling very sensitive, and my husband came up to me and put his arms around me and rubbed his cheek on mine. He had a couple day's worth of stubble on his face, and it hurt! I told him that his stubble hurt me, and he said he was sorry, but then I laughed and said, "You know your fibro is bad when even your husband's stubble hurts your face!"
Posted 11/21/2010 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
I drive my husband crazy because he will poke me or touch my shoulder adn I kind yell out because it hurts, and he says oh come on I barely touched you! So I know where you are coming from! Oh I am so glad that I am not the only one! It really stinks though, my husband has finally learned to be very careful because he never knows wheni might be sensitive!
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