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Posted 6/9/2011 12:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about a month ago. I've had symptoms for a long time - at least five years. I've suspected a fibromyalgia diagnosis a long time too, and so technically since I got diagnosed, nothing has changed. But still, I am struggling a lot with the diagnosis. It feels overwhelming and makes me worry about the future. I am very afraid that I will have to "give up" my old life to manage this disease, and I don't want to.

I think part of why I'm struggling with this so much is that it feels like just "One More Thing". I am 30, and I already have a number of chronic conditions. I've had asthma and allergies since I was a kid. In college I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, and spent several years having my life ruled by treatment-resistant depression before I found treatments that worked. At the same time I hurt my back, and spent 7 years in chronic back pain (some of which might have been fibro-related, who knows) until I had breast reduction surgery that largely resolved my pain. When I was 23 I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea, and learned I'd have to sleep with my good friend CPAP for the rest of my life. A year later, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, and it took several years to get that pain under control.

And now here I am with the fibro diagnosis. Looking back at my history, I can recognize that I have been able to manage each of my chronic conditions and learn to cope with them. But I just am sick of being sick! I don't want to have to cope with another chronic condition!

How have other people come to accept their diagnosis?
Posted 6/9/2011 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Heather, Welcome to our fibro family! You will find people who really care about one another and do understand.

Accepting a diagnosis takes time. I mourned the loss of my good health. Like you, I have multiple health issues. I went through various stages of grief initially. Shock, sadness and ager were some of the emotions I felt. At times I felt emotionally weak and then the self pity crept in. After awhile I decided I was going to do everything I could do to help myself...I was tired of the pity parties. There are days where it is a struggle to stay strong but I'm doing what I can to try to be positive, living one day at a time.

I have learned that you can still be happy and live a good life with chronic illness. Keeping active has helped me...doing what I can to distract pain...spending time doing things I enjoy really helps. I too have learned to cope. What is the alternative?

Initially, I think we all feel uncertain about the future and worry about not being able to do the things we once enjoyed...that is natural. We all find what works for us. The way we think does have an influence on our pain. It is important to try to stay positve. Fibro is a part of us and we can have a good life. We might not have the same life before health issues, but it's the one we have now, so we need to be kind to ourselves and take time each day to do something that makes us happy:)

I'm so glad you have joined us...take some time to read Fibro 101 on top of the page. Sherrine has compiled some great info for us. Post often...we care!!!

Hugs, Robin
Posted 6/9/2011 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Heather! Glad you found this board.

Yours will be a familiar story here, but no less heart-breaking. The learning curve happens, as we figure out how to manage, and we don't think about it again. MUCH. It's the opposite of the Honeymoon Effect. The Hospital Visit Effect?

I 'knew' what I had before it was diagnosed, and I actually got diagnosed much more quickly than most. My sister had been diagnosed about a decade earlier, after a huge struggle with doctors.

The road to acceptance and management, IMO, is knowing how much you can do. Learn what your limits are, and try not to exceed them. I think that mindfulness taught me a lot, and after a year I had a handle (kindof) on my condition. I learned to take my time doing things, I learned to say NO to other things. Self-preservation.

But, truthfully, as your life changes, you will have to re-make your management style. I am struggling right now with some issues, and it makes me sad (for lots of stupid reasons). Anyway, learn what you need to live well, and learn to choose what you want and what is necessary, and what is just not.

Happy Thursday.
Posted 6/9/2011 2:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Heather,

Welcome to the fibromyalgia forum.  I am so glad that you have decided to join us.

Coping with fibromyalgia and multiple illnesses is difficult to say the least.  But it can be done.  You have to learn to live in the moment.  Not in the past of future.  One day at a time has helped me.  I know it is hard, I am not saying it is easy.  But you will learn to cope. 

I have a poem that I would like you to read.  It has helped me though many hard times.  The link is

http://www.freewebs.com/crys/

The poem is called desiderata.  It was published by Max Ehrmann in 1927.  But they have found writings of it by monks back in the 1600's.  I hope you enjoy it.

As was mentioned above, check out the fibro101 thread, second at the top of the page.  There is a lot of great information there. 

I sure do hope that you feel better soon, and I hope that you continue to post.

Have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 6/9/2011 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
Heather Lynn, you say you have learned to cope with your other illnesses.  You will learn with fibro, too!  I have multiple health issues and some started when I was a toddler.  I have never truly enjoyed good health either but I have truly enjoyed a great life in spite of these illnesses. 

 

It seems, as I get older, more are piled on the list.  Yes, I have my moments, too.  I'm sick of being sick and don't want to have to cope with anything else but, unfortunately, I have no control over that.  So I just don't stress myself over it.  It does no good and just makes me miserable and in more pain.  Instead, I face whatever it is head on and learn everything I can about it so I can control it and not have it control me. 

 

You will learn how to live with fibro, too.  We have a ton of information here in Fibro 101 and there is even more info in the postings.  People tell what they do to help themselves.  So try not to worry...especially about the future.  Take one day at a time and live it to the fullest.  Put a smile on your face.  Things REALLY could be a lot worse!  

Sherrine 

Posted 6/10/2011 5:23 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the warm welcome. Your posts have reminded me of two things. First, I already have been managing fibromyalgia for a while now. The diagnosis just gives me more potential tools in managing it better. Second, it can be easy to forget in the "down" times with chronic illness that there will be good times again. When I was very sick with endometriosis, I thought things would NEVER be better again, and I spent a lot of time worrying about how life would never be "the same". And sure, it's not the same, but I'd say it's still a pretty good life.

One of the things about the diagnosis is that I am by nature very impatient. So I got diagnosed, and now there are all these things to do to help myself feel better and I want to do them all at once and I want them all to work NOW! Which just gets me feeling overwhelmed. I've decided on a few things I am going to start with to help myself feel better.

Karen, what a beautiful poem! Thank you.
Posted 6/10/2011 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Many here have said it better than I can, but it is true that it just takes time. I, too, have lots of chronic illnesses in addition to fibro that I've had to adjust to, and just when I think I've learned how to deal with one of them, BAM!, I get something else, or one of the ones I already have changes, and I have to start all over again. I think it is a process; you wake up every morning, take inventory, and figure out how to manage whatever wheel is squeaking that particular morning.

One of the biggest battles I have to fight is envy of healthy people (or at least healthier than I). It's been a challenge for me to learn how not to compare myself to others or even to compare myself to myself ("I was able to do that last week, so why can't I do it today?"). Fibro is an ever changing landscape, and it's helpful if you can learn how not to judge yourself or allow others' judgements to affect you. It's difficult, and I'm definitely a work in progress, but I am learning as I go along. You will too. :-)

Hugs - Austen
Posted 6/10/2011 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
Heather, I am in the same boat as you. I still am trying to understand what this is gonna do to our lives. Just like you, I don't like it. But it is a relief to know that all the symptoms are from one thing not 10 things.
I think I am finally beleiving there is such a thing as Fibro. It just explains everything.
I know we should all be on the positive side, but I also think we gotta go thur some acceptance thing. does that make since.
I think when we finally admit we have it, then we work from there. I know we will all be ok, but it does call for some soul searching thing. lol
At least we can ask questions here, and get true answer. I do love that!!
Marilyn
Posted 6/10/2011 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Heather, I am in the same boat as you. I still am trying to understand what this is gonna do to our lives. Just like you, I don't like it. But it is a relief to know that all the symptoms are from one thing not 10 things.
I think I am finally beleiving there is such a thing as Fibro. It just explains everything.
I know we should all be on the positive side, but I also think we gotta go thur some acceptance thing. does that make since.
I think when we finally admit we have it, then we work from there. I know we will all be ok, but it does call for some soul searching thing. lol
At least we can ask questions here, and get true answer. I do love that!!
Marilyn
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