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We can't compare ourself to others

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Posted 8/2/2011 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes I'm amazed at my hubby's energy. On Saturday he cut the lawn in 100 degree temps, played 18 holes of golf and vacuumed the whole house. I was very happy to get a couple loads of laundry done.

If we always compared ourselves to others who are healthy, we could become angry, bitter and envious...that is why we have to focus on what we can do today.

We can't let fibro affect our self esteem...we need to celebrate everything we accomplish and feel good about it.

Living well with fibro means taking care of ourselves emotionally and physically...we must be kind to ourselves, taking time each day to have some fun. smilewinkgrin

Hugs, Robin

 

Posted 8/2/2011 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
I have learned it's like a job trying to stay healthy. I really have to work at it. I ask myself did I take my meds, walk, rest, do housework drink fluids, and yes put something in there for me. By doing this I have stayed much healthier. I sometimes will look at my husband because he can do lots of activities also. He has to leave me home at times because I don't have the energy or I am in pain.
Posted 8/2/2011 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
I know what you mean. Yesterday I went to the laundromat with a ton of laundry, and wonder why I am tired today. There are so many people that can do so much. I am starting to get old enough to where I can blame it on my age. But I know people many years older than me that can do more.

I guess we just got to do what we can and count out blessings. One day at a time. And just keep moving forwards. There are always others who are worse off than we are. So we should appreciate what we can do and accept what we can't.

Robin, as always, good topic. We need to love ourselves for who we are, and try to be contented with that. I think we can all do this.  I am going to try...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/2/2011 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
Robin,

This is such a good point! I have had to work so hard at learning to slow myself down, and I still find that I overdo it on a regular basis. We can't compare ourselves to other people, or even compare ourselves to how we used to be. We need to remind ourselves each day of our accomplishments-no matter how minor, and not dwell on the negatives in our lives.
Posted 8/3/2011 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
Very good point. So important to do this - not that it's easy. It's been said many times, we have to be strong to deal with fibro - we really do!

Debbie
Posted 8/4/2011 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
I wish I could take that advice to heart. I have a hard time not comparing myself to others. Seeing people who are older than me *I'm only 28!!* being in the greatest and bestest shape of THEIR life makes me angrymad/jealous/ sad cry . I've gained 40 lbs in the last 5 years and it's been a huge devastation on my self-esteem, and even when I was 128 lbs my self-esteem was under attack. My sex-life has suffered immenselycry.

'Apparently' I need counseling, which I am not surprised about. I saw a psychiatrist about this stuff, but he only medicates, not talks, so I'm on the hunt for a good counselorsmilewinkgrin
Posted 8/4/2011 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
It is hard to see your husband, in this case "my" husband, run in and out of the house, do all sorts of things, even feel great with a cold.

I have RA, Fibro and am now going to heart and lung doctors to find out what is causing my messy heart rhythms and asthma (not allergies).

So, I have gained so much weight from pills with my "less than normal" appetite ( I have eaten less than than normal for most my life) and the doctors can't figure that out.

It goes on and on and on and I tell you, I do have envy and I wish I didn't. Ugh
Posted 8/4/2011 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
Ya, I feel guilty for having that envy too. I get upset at my husband who has the ability to lose his weight. I do not. Makes me feel like 'what a waste' somedays.
Posted 8/4/2011 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah, for sure! My husband just closed our windows to keep out the rain...I followed him and watched. Who ended up with a sore shoulder? You guessed it!! (must've walked too fast)

Ha ha - funny life.

Debbie
Posted 8/4/2011 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
I switched from pop to lemon water and am walking again. I lost 20 pounds and am shooting for 20 more. It has been slow and hard. I have cut back on my eating too. My husband always tries to feed me too much food. So I sneak and not eat. Wish me luck ladies on the next few pounds. I have been at a stand still, but I think that came from fresh strawberries, pound cake and ice cream. Couldn't help it. But I picked half of the berries so I sweated it off before I started eating. lol...

Have a good evening all!!!
Posted 8/4/2011 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
There are times I 'm envious that my husband can play golf and tennis and I can't anymore, but I also know that jealousy can eat away at me and make me feel worse. I'm happy that my husband is healthy and able to enjoy things he loves...I encourage him to join leagues. I would never deny him the chance to play because I can't.

I think it helps that my hubby and I do enjoy other activities together and I have found some things that I enjoy to replace the things I can no longer do.

Accepting our limitations is a hard thing, sometimes we do surprise ourselves and can do more than we thought we could. On a good day, I've walked 3 miles...somedays walking to the mailbox is a chore. Knowing that at times I can walk 3 miles makes me happy.

All I know is life is too short and I want to live the best life I can and be happy. Believing is the first step and I do believe!

Wishing everyone much happiness :)

Hugs, Robin

PS Good luck to those wanting to lose weight. I'm right there with you.

I want to lose at least 15 lbs.

 

Posted 8/4/2011 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Great topic, I'm actually finding I can't compare myself to myself, lol. This past weekend I had 6 grandchildren here, we had 2 of them stay for a week and 2 more for a few hours every day for the week and the other 2 joined us Sat morning. I ran after little one (potty training) cooked cleaned and we even took the bunch swimming at the community leisure centre and today I can barely get to the washroom. UGH!!!!

We had 4 little ones tonight and hubby did the cooking, cleaning, running and I got the cuddles so there is an upside for me today. Thank goodness they have all gone home and hubby and I have an hour before bedtime (for him).
Posted 8/4/2011 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
Also, don't compare yourself to others with fibro. Even more important, don't let anyone else compare you to others with fibro.
Posted 8/4/2011 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
Your right I find myself being envious of those people who can do alot and look good,I am even envious of pictures of my old self before fibro
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