Waiting for the GOOD 3's... I got the bad third today

I WANNA SCREAM and CRY and I want someone to hold me.

I honestly don't know what to do. Burried Mom yesterday (step mom)

Saturday Burrying Aunt

and today got a call... Uncle is gone now to! He had cancer, like my aunt.

Yet another funeral to plan...  and do.

Please pray for me, I am so stressed. And whomever said the fibro flares was from stress, is probably right. And to the one whom said they lost their father on christmas eve, my condolences. To the one whom said not to be afraid for counceling, I'm not. My brother was killed - killed in Iraq nearly (on July 6th) 5 years ago. I took that hard, as he and I were extremely close. I ended up snapping and broke down at my doctor for asking my thoughts of this war. I had to be in counceling over a year for it. I  told my doctor eventually that my brother died, he was apologitic and said if he knew he would not acted as he did.

Something I am focusing on is I am also a gaming host for Blazing Dice on myleagues4u is an event on July 6th honouring Gold Star Families (Families of fallen heroes). I picked that date, the same date Bro was killed, to honour  him and let him know he will live on, forever and always and how much love I have for him. I am on a leave of absence from the game site right now, as due the funerals now 3 funerals (2 more to do)

Smurfy, I can not even imagine what you are going through. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Smurfy, again I'm sorry.  This is like a bad nightmare for you.  I lost three family members in a five month period and that was tough enough but you are losing them weekly!  I pray this comes to a screetching halt for you.  You can't change things so you have to roll with the punches.  Take deep breaths and blow slowly out of your mouth to help you relax those muscles.  Then, remember the good things about these family members.  Hopefully that will help you some.  I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.

 

Sherrine

My step mother moved here fresh out of high school, she was recruited as an finger print analysis (sp) for the FBI. She was so loving, always there no matter what. A wonderful heart, doing what was right, volunteering to get things started for handicap. One of my sisters is mentally a six year old, if that, and is in a wheel chair. We worked real hard on Chrissy, we got her to learn how to use a microwave, walk a little bit, talk but very slurred, use her right hand, despite it being paralyzed with the hand stuck shut (she can only open it a tiny bit). Anyhow, I am worried about her, as we were her foster family. But she's still family. The group home she is in claims she has her own power of attorney, but she is no where commitment (ah i hope I spelled that right) (you know no way able to realize what she does). We stopped after the funeral, as Chrissy didnt go (they said they didnt have a car. What place doesnt have a vehicle for residents) and we gave her some pictures of mom and flowers. She knows mom is up in Heaven, but none of us know if she realizes what is meant about that.. no longer here on Earth. Anyhow the group home is no where a fit place for her. There were nails for the closet door handle, ducktape on floors, wood on floors needing replaced. Chrissy even has a dark mole on her forehead that is an odd shape, hence that needs frozen off and biopsed. They dont even have her walk or cook anymore.
I only met my aunt and uncle over the years at family reunions. It hurts knowing they are gone, and knowing it was the cancer that took them. I have 2 brain tumors one behind each eye and I've been in chemotherapy for almost 4 years. I keep thinking what it happens to me.
I have decided I am going to stay in town with family for awhile. I live 100 miles away from family.
My brother, you would of loved. He was my childhood hero. I am high functioning autistic, can have a normal life (hence me being a medical caregiver) due to him and my step mother. He always looked out for me, cuz I was always teased, made fun of, etc. He was there for me, as well as another brother. We had a trio. I remember they discovered I was scared of spiders... so they laid fake spiders out and I freaked out, then they put down fake spiders with ooze and I freaked out again after that they caught spiders and put them where I sure was to go. I finally cornered Kory and told him I didnt like it and to please stop. I don't know how, but he managed to make it look like it was no fun anymore to torture me. He knew since a child he wanted to be a k9 law enforcement officer. Always a smile he had, and ate constantly, lots of junk food but never gained a pound. He joined the ARMY for experience for the chosen carreer. He and his dog were deployed to Iraq. They were on patrol due to the Captains orders. They came across an IED (aka bomb) and tried to show the other soldier how to disarm it. The other one with him tripped the wire, it predetonated and went off. Kory screamed no, threw himself upon the IED to protect the rest of the unit and his dog. Neither him or dog survived, or the other soldier that tried to disarm. He did however, save 3 soldiers. I dont know how, but my parents managed to win a federal case, and we have both Kory and Cooper(dog) cremated and burried together. I'm sure we are the only family in history to have a dog in a human grave.
ANyhow, I got to get ready to leave now, am going to the funeral home to arrange some things for the funeral on Saturday for my aunt, and to get some things in order for Uncle.

Smurphy, I am so sorry that another family member has passed and you have so much responsibility on you during a very difficult time.

Staying in town with your family for awhile will comfort you, I hope.

Losing the people we love is always painful...being surrounded by those you love and also love you helps some with the burden of your loss.

Take time to take care of you too...you are important :)

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Robin