Crush, have you tried going to grief therapy? This might help you get past the "denial" stage of grief. I know I kept hoping it was all a bad dream but, once I faced the facts, I could again move forward in my life.
I used to have the TV on just for background noise. I didn't feel so alone that way. I also had a dog that helped me immensely. She was my constant companion so, again, I was never totally alone...except in my thoughts sometimes.
Even though you REALLY don't feel like it, call up a friend and make a luncheon date. Get out of the house several times a week. It really does lift your mood. I had to force myself to do anything...around the house and out of the house. But I'm glad I made myself get out. Remember, I moved here after my husband died and I didn't know anyone. All my friends were 1,200 miles away. But I was able to meet new people by going to the Chamber of Commerce and joining various groups that were offered. It was so difficult but I'm glad I did it. You have your friends all around you so take advantage of the love and support they can offer you. Get out, start having some enjoyment, and talk about other things with your friends. It will do a world of good for you.
You will never forget your husband. I think of mine all of the time. Life will be better though. You will create a "new" life with different routines and that will help you. Just take one day at a time and do try to get out of the house. The weather is nice now and the spring flowers will be popping out. Get out and enjoy them. Walking is good, too. Any exercise, for that matter, will help with the depression you are going through, too. I wish I could be there to help you along. Feel better, Crush.
Sherrine