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Posted 3/31/2012 12:52 PM (GMT 0)
Anyone else just got so angry in the beginning? I got up this morning, hobbled out of bed, and went to make myself breakfast (which I hate to do first thing), so I can take my stupid meds, and found I couldn't reach the stuff I wanted in the fridge without bending or squatting which I can't really do first thing in the morning. So I added, "move stuff in fridge" to my list of stuff to talk to family about.
And now I am just so mad at my stupid broken body. Grrr.

What makes you mad about being sick? What do you do about it?
Posted 3/31/2012 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
I am mad that I worked so hard and went into so much debt so that I could get the job I wanted, and just as it was all coming to fruition, I was diagnosed.

I am angry that my current insurance does not cut it, and my current doctor I am beginning to have serious doubts about.

What to do? Either change and reassess expectations, or fight for what's important. Everything can't be important, and necessary. And, frankly, I do not like to waste valuable energy getting mad. I prefer action, change either of my mindsets or of my situation.
Posted 3/31/2012 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
It is more difficult in the beginning...it is an adjustment to say the least. You go through a grieving process of the loss of the old you. In time you learn to accept your "new normal"...not to say you won't have times that you won't become sad or angry anymore, but life becomes easier when you concentrate on doing what you can do, rather than what you can't.

Initially, I was most angry at having to give up activities that hubby and I shared together...golf, tennis and rough terrain hiking. We have found other activities to share now. Sure I miss the old days, but I know it is still possible to enjoy life. Living with the thought that there are good days ahead, helps me.

Here is a poem I wrote that sort of says it  all for me...

I look beyond the pain and see

that life is not a misery

 

It's a chance to live, love and enjoy

to have some fun and spread some joy

 

Pain might be a part of me

but it won't control who I'll be

I can live my life and be happy

 

Hugs, Robin :-)

 

Have a wonderful weekend!
Posted 3/31/2012 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
Michelle,

(Welcome, by the way.) I absolutely know what you're talking about. I still get angry, and it's been over 20 years.

As a matter of fact, your description of your refrigerator troubles really hit a chord with me. I just had spine sugery 3 weeks ago, and am not supposed to bend, and can't really squat because my legs give out; so I have to back way up to the other side of the kitchen to see what's in the fridge. Half the time it's something too heavy for me anyway, so I have to wait for someone else to get it out.

Oh, am I ever tired of asking others to do things for me!! (Just as I'm sure they're tired of doing them.)

Having fibro makes us learn patience, because what choice do we have? Sure, there are still those hard times, and I know there will always be. But by and large, we just have to let go of our old expectations of how our lives would be. I used to love to work out on Nautilus machines, dance, jog, take long walks, garden, play physically with my kids, move furniture around and paint the walls.....the list goes on and on.

These days, I just wish I could bring 3 pairs of pjs upstairs at the same time...or reach up and water my plants that are above my head...or put away the leftovers before they go bad...and this is before my disc ruptured.

Debbie
Posted 3/31/2012 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome, Michelle~

I know it sounds trite, but I try to count my blessings.  Now, that being said, I still have my moments...I'm new to fibro, but have had rheumatoid arthritis since I was in my twenties, so I know what it means to have an abrupt change in my abilities.  It just plain stinks, and to this day (I'm 52), I still don't like having to ask for help, but I've learned that sometimes there's no choice. 

I do try to do as much as I can myself, and sometimes that means breaking tasks up into smaller bits and doing them over time.  As Debbie says, this kind of thing forces us to learn patience...at least when we're taking the high road.  I've had many moments in my life where I just snapped and had a hissy-fit, but when it was all over, nothing had changed, so I don't do that much anymore.

It will take time to get used to the "new" you, but it will happen.  It's not easy, and there are no magic words, but letting it all out in places like this with people who understand is really helpful.  Good luck to you.

Robin, love your poem...so true!!

Posted 3/31/2012 11:39 PM (GMT 0)
I understand your refrigerator issues. I try to keep the fridge here at my BFs in some state of order (I cook for him and his family 4 nights a week) but every day I go in there and they have moved everything into a place that makes it difficult for me to get to.

I get angry because I have no energy to do the things I want to do--go out for a date night, stay up and watch a movie. (TMI alert, sorry) Even our personal life is affected, because of my pain and stiffness; this makes me feel less "womanly" and less capable, which often makes me depressed *shrug* Most of my days off, I spend the first half to two-thirds of my day laying on the couch, catching up on sleep or reading. I get angry because I feel like I can no longer enjoy so many things.

Like kimliz said, I also try to do as much on my own as possible, but sometimes I have to get help. And I still have yet to learn any patience; Im not a patient person.

Im new to a diagnosis, but not new to the pain. It has been a tough year since my diagnosis, but from personal experience, I believe you will be just fine :)
Posted 4/1/2012 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Im angry I can't be the mother my children deserve and they are so young the don't understand that mommy can't always play outside with them or why mommy has to lay down during the day.
Posted 4/1/2012 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
jmw, that has to be very hard, but one day your kids will grow up to be compassonate people, because they've seen suffering in someone they love.  Being a mother is more than just physical--they will feel your love, and it will all be ok.
Posted 4/1/2012 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Michelle,

Welcome to the forum. I had anger issues too. Mostly confusion as to why I felt the way that I did. I eventually learned to take fibromyalgia one day at a time. That is what works for me. I hope that it helps you.

We can't change what has happened, so we learn to accept it and do what we can.

Keep trying, never give up. Kick the anger to the curb.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/1/2012 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
I am so glad not to be the only one who gets angry sometimes! It definitely isn't helpful and I definitely dont have the energy to give into it very often! On the plus side, I now have my own shelf in the fridge so I can reach my food. We will see how long that lasts.

Jmw- I get what you mean. I have three kids and even tho they are not that young anymore, I feel bad for not being able to do everything I want with them. The hardest atm is not going upstairs to tuck my daughter in. She is 8 so can do it herself but we had a ritual and it is hard to say now that the stairs are just too hard.
Posted 4/1/2012 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Michelle,

I am sorry that you can't do what you use to do. Especially tucking in your daughter. That must be awful hard. But maybe the two of you can do something else special each night before she goes to bed. I hope that things work out for you. Fibromyalgia is difficult. But enjoy these times with your daughter, they grow up so fast, as you know...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/2/2012 12:19 PM (GMT 0)

crazykitty said...
You go through a grieving process of the loss of the old you. In time you learn to accept your "new normal"...not to say you won't have times that you won't become sad or angry anymore, but life becomes easier when you concentrate on doing what you can do, rather than what you can't.


Very true. It's just that there are some days when you're so limited, that the anger flares up again (no pun intended). But yes, I had to completely reassess my life and make a lot of changes while I adjusted to the "new me".
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