So frustrated!!

I left my job last week for a variety of reasons, a big part of which having been my fibro. I was missing far too many days of work and due to other issues that were going to make me miss even more work (wife decided to keep a shift and schedule that she knew would interfere with me being able to work because she wanted to have weekends off) I ended up in a "quit before I was fired" situation. What really bothers me about that is that I tried to get hold of my general manager to talk about ways to avoid having to quit. I sent an email asking for a meeting and waited four days (calling and stopping in periodically to see if she was available during that time) and then never got a response to my resignation email and having told my direct supervisor that I had to leave, despite the fact that my leaving meant that there weren't going to be enough people in my department to keep the front end even minimally staffed. I can only surmise that they wanted me gone for whatever reason, which I understand, but I hated to leave because I actually liked the job.

I've now failed on various older antidepressants, Savella, Cymbalta, and am considered to have failed gabapentin. I started imipramine last week and was very very optimistic when for the first five days I felt great. Yesterday I started hurting and today's worse, so I think it was just a coincidental few really good days. Tramadol isn't working as well as it used to, or my pain is worse/different and tramadol doesn't work as well for it. My wife hates her job and talks every day about wanting to quit, and she hasn't had any call backs about applications for jobs in her pay grade. I'm scared beyond belief that she'll quit or (more likely) get fired because of an outburst or some such, which almost happened last night. If she loses her job we're totally, royally screwed. I've realized that unless I can find a medication that controls my pain overall there's little chance that I can hold down a regular job, and with every failure I'm losing more hope that we'll find one. I'm still waiting to hear if I'm approved for financial aid for college next year, but I'm really starting to wonder if I should even bother to continue with college if I don't have my fibro under control.

I really just don't know what to do right now. I'm so frustrated with everything overall, way more than I can or should say here. I've resolved to try losing some weight and getting more exercise. Exercise isn't so much an issue, but the losing weight thing is impossible because of all the meds I'm taking. I'm tempted just to start an application for Social Security, at the very least just to get the process going while we're trying other things, but I really don't think I have a chance of being approved right now. I plan on looking into it some more, though. I feel like if I knew for sure my wife would do whatever it takes to hold on to her job it would be a huge load off my mind, but I don't think I can be assured of that to any certainty. Anyone have any words of wisdom or give me a clue what I can/should do next?

EvenKeel- sorry you are having to go through all the pain. If only your Dr. Could write a stronger med for your pain. It takes time to find that right cobo to control the fibro. I do know I fought for many years to get where I got. It was through many valleys and bumpy roads. I just happen to land on this forum and began to try new remedies my Dr's never shared with me. Stoping your job may make your depression creep in more. So make sure you stay active and write down postive things. It really helps me. Stay on a schedule.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I know this is kind of one of those situations where I just have to wait for it all to play out, and I will, but it sure seems like there should be something I could do. I've thought about trying a stronger pain med but I'm really unsure for a few reasons. I'll definitely talk to my doctor about it next month when I go back for a recheck on the imipramine, though. I'll definitely continue to be supportive of my wife as I do understand that she has a lot of weight on her shoulders and I don't need to be making things any harder for her than they all ready are. I'm going to check into social security, look at some cases where it's been granted and see if I should at least start the process. I know it wouldn't hurt to try, but I really don't want to waste precious energy if I have no chance of winning. Being summer with two younger kids, I have no problem staying busy and am looking forward to enjoying my summer to the fullest. To add to the frustration, though, I was told yesterday that the person suspected of killing my brother in 2008 is going on trial next week for another related murder. It's a long story, the details of which are purposely being kept away from the public until the trial is over so as to minimize having to deal with the media (my brother's story made national news and has been featured on America's Most Wanted), but I'm really really upset that there's no way I can be there due to it being on the east coast. My mom and stepdad are going, though, so at least we'll have front-line updates as it goes on.

getting by-School is much easier than work. I love it, finished last semester with a 3.83 GPA, and I really want to continue. The issue I have is that I have about three years' worth of college credits due to starting and stopping college four times for various health reasons. With the new regulations that went into effect January 1st I'm supposed to be cut off from any further state or federal grants or subsidized loans toward any two year programs. I'm waiting for answer on an appeal, which I've been assured by my advisor will be granted, but I can't relax about until I get the letter. Even if I can get financial aid, though, it seems stupid to waste money going to school when I can't hold down a job. I'm hedging my bets with college, though, as I'm planning on graduating with an additional one-year certificate in accounting that I can hopefully use to be self-employed as a bookkeeper or tax preparer. In the end I'll more than likely finish it off, because even if I can't use my legal office associate degree it'll still be a good thing to have if I end up doing accounting instead.

Slow and steady wins.

One job is better than none.

Focus on family and treating yourself well. Get the pain under control, as much as you can.

Little steps with everything else. It all seems overwhelming when you look at everything. So, make a list, and prioritize, and then focus on one thing. Otherwise, depression and exhaustion will take over.

Do the best as you can, and be as positive as you can. Happy weekending.