Need to vent,,,

Hey everyone
Just need to vent in a safe place where nothing I say can be held against me. I had a awful day today. I have had fibro for over a year supposedly diagnosed probably 2 years in diagnosed. I have a 3 year old daughter who I am her primary caregiver. I lived as a single mom since her first birthday and had to work as an esthetician 9 to 5 6 days a week and waitress 530 until sometimes 2 am . On this routine my symptoms got so bad I struggled to eat idntake care of baby and then forget me it was easier not to eat I had no appetite anyways from the pain. I finally went to a dr and had every test over the next year known to man. My dr told me I had fibro as well as3 Rheumys a neorlogist and 2 family drs and a pain clinic dr. I slowly had to cut back working as I couldn't bear it and eventually my dr told me not to work at all and apply for disability (in Canada). So I took her advice and have been off work but lucky in the meantime I met a great guy who helps me. Well I have been in court battles with my daughters dad for many reasons but today was a big one. I found out from my lawyer all the documents my dr sent him all say I have symptoms of fibro and it is believed that is what I may have but not one dr wrote me off as diagnosed including my familyndoc who told me that. Well I also learned that she documented she never told me not to work. So I learn I most likely will be refused for my disability that is due to be settled this week, I've been waiting months thinking that I'd for sure get it there's no way I can work, well then doesn't this a hole judge decide to tell me that if I can't work because I'm so sick then I shouldn't have my daughter in my care. So now her dad is trying to prove I'm a bad mom and either lying about being unable to work or if I can't work how can I keep up with my 3 yr old...clearly this judge knows nothing about fibro because I can do whatever I please at home with my kid when at work I have to stand for hours! I am a great mom my daughter is my entire world she is what makes me live... I am so hurt that this judge would even try to pin my disability as an excuse to b a bad mom and then to learn my own dr never did her paperwork or think to tell me no specialist was ready to diagnose and I need to go back... She filled out my disability application for god sakes!!!!! So frustrated as if this court battle hasn't caused me enough grief now it is to the point I can loose my child who I went thru hell to make ends meet. The stress her dad has caused I think is what set the fibro off so suddenly that month... And I feel like I have to somehow be able to go find employment but I know I'd never pass probation because I never know how I'll feel each day and what I'll b able to tolerate...somedays it hurts to be dressed so I roam my home in my bus huge shirts and stick to easy play and reading stories to Cali we call them camp out days and lay in her tent for story time... I don't know how I can go forward trying to deal with all these loose ends... I haven't been to see that one family dr in months buck she basically ran out of ideas to try helping me and so I saw other drs who at least referred me tithe pain clinic for lydacain injections. So scared and feeling beat by this all....

No one knows what it feels like until they have it or know someone who they see battle it ... The judge was talking to me like a little fatigue everyone has and chronic pain is normal....it's not even those 2 issues that stop me from work!!!

You can also oh Karen whats that word... supeno hrmph
your doctors as well.

I am from the U S, but I had a situation with my Dr's on filling out disability. My Dr's were all for it saying how I needed to be off work. Then when the real paper work came in, she was telling me it was up to them to decide. She didn't really want to put what she actually told me. I was sick. Finally I found a Dr. that cared foe me. I watched her put down how critical I was. It really does make a huge difference what the Dr's are writing. I don't know if you able to have a new Dr, in Canada, but it's totally worth having your Dr's on your side. As I read your post, It made me almost cry. I was there and I know how hard it's. Remember this is a big bump, but take a deep breathe and get back up to fight this. Your health is worth it. I know you feel weak in body and mind, but you can do it.